Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year

oye....sabse pahele is blog par timepass karne ke liye tapak padne wale sabhi to nav varsh ki hardik shubh kamnayee.. btw, jab apun yeh ghis raha hai, tab tak new year shuru nahi huaa....advance mein wish kiya hai mamu..samjha kya...
The clock strikes 10. Suddenly the melodious tune on my alarm clock wakes me up from my power nap. Its still quite a few hrs. left for the new year to arrive. What the f*&* am I doing at this time here in front this computer. Infact self had been bombasted with the question on what am I going to do on this new year eve. Any guesses..? Okie...your first guess of me been on a wet nite is outrightly rejected. Nope..I ain't in Gujarat ( as if it mattered for wet nites :) ). Nope, I am not going to rock and 'roll' out there with some buggers. A 'night-out' at the 'coolest' spicy locations in the town ...nope...not at all.. And I am definitely not reading Kafka or Coetze or Milton...Not even Aristotle. I finished reading his 'Power & Politics' yesterday. 'Kane & Abel' of Jeffrey Archer is next on the list, but I prefer to start that sometime later next month. Nope ..u loser..m not writing any more poems...don't u know i gave up writing poems...bloody crapp... no shapeless musings ......no watching TV either, or playing 'games' on lappie.. and definitely i am not out 'bird watching'
Yes, i m again on those one day trips at places which are never ever mentioned on any of the maps...miles away from the hustle and bustle of the cities....where even reaching the place takes an effort, but the beatific intense silence here is worth it. Can once again see those thousands of stars which I somehow missed on the city sky. Think this is the first time in last few yearss that I am not on an official tour on new year eve. Gonna enjoy it fully...and yaa...i m gonna see more falling stars today..have baskets 'full' of wishes for the upcoming year. Cheers !!! Have a rockin' year ..bole to HAPPY NEW YEAR
PS : I'll be back soon
PSS : I have nothing more to say..har post mein yeh 'PS / PSS' likhna zaruri hai kya ....tum bhi naa...!!!

Friday, December 14, 2007

HYPOTHETICAL

This term in Economics, we had to write a paper of about 750 words on any contemporary macroeconomic matter for getting an extra credit. Yup, I did write...and indeed write 31 pages for it ( kya bola re tu... haan re...apun ka satak gaya tha). No prizes for guessing that the topic of this brilliant paper was 'Countering carbon'. In my production assignment last term, I had wrote about the mechanisms of carbon trading in details. Herein , I blasted ( need i say ' no words minced') the very logic behind carbon trading and have made a case for shifting to carbon tax. An absolutely dumb but dear friend yesterday dismissed the idea mentioning that the concept of carbon tax is at best 'HYPOTHETICAL'
What hypothetical...u f$%$&^* crappy idiot...Read this twice, and then if you still consider carbon tax 'HYPOTHETICAL', I'll pay for getting your brain being kept next to Einstein in the museum, but for entirely opposite reasons.


- In the summer of 2003, New Zealand government was considering a ‘flatulence tax’ to be levied on farmers with livestock. (the fart by the livestock consists of a certain proportion of polluting gases) With four million people, 45 million sheep and around 10 million cattle, New Zealand’s animals are reportedly responsible for more than 40 percent of the total greenhouse gases produced in the country. ---So, Farters beware !!! aur muli ke parathe khaana bandh karo...samje. New Zealand has infact, implemented a carbon tax since 2005.

- The Quebec government just announced plans to levy a broad carbon tax against oil and gas companies as a way of financing what it calls a $1.2 billion Green Fund over the next six years to help control the province's greenhouse gas emissions and meet its Kyoto target.

- And the notion is getting something of an international hearing courtesy of Al Gore, the former Democratic party presidential candidate who is now trumpeting the idea of a broad-based carbon tax with his new documentary about climate change, An Inconvenient Truth.

May be the Carbon Tax can be renamed the “Green Tax”, after all Carbon seems much too a dirty word for politics.


PS -The Rajnikant Birthday celebration by TAXI was good...cud have been better if I would have got a slice of the cake :(. I don't understand the reason why 'RanjitHa' and 'SangitHa' and all their brothers and sisters keep on visiting my orkut profile yet never making a scrap...It seems like I am receiving blank calls from half the population of Chennai.

PSS - Congrats to Ratin for taking the initiative and starting the stock tips group...hope it goes full gear in the next term. btw, XLers have already started manipulating the market in a never seen, never heard, never thought manner...Hats off to Captain & his group. Which company are you acquiring next ?

PSSS - M gonna atttend marketing lecture tomorrow ( subject to conditions) after eons of years. I dropped the idea of taking up 'French ' next term...I think I better take up 'English' under Fr. Jesurajan. :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

muzhe woh kitaab chahiye

Lately, I have been trying to get my hands on a literary classic which I haven't been able to find in most of the 'prime' libraries in most of the cities I have visited. So, yesterday I googled to find out the book and surprisingly among the first few entries displayed I came across a newsarticle from 'Telegraph' which also featured a very familiar name. I clicked on that entry to find that indeed it was about a familiar 'gentleman' who stays at XLRI and this gentleman has the book I am so desperately looking for. Now, One may go and ask that book from him but then one may not agree to lend it to me...

Wondering, whoz that...well...just read this article from 'Telegraph'..
QUOTE -
A nail-biting finish to a cricket match does not impress him. Neither does masala Bollywood movies. For Tamonas Gangopadhyay, professor of qualitative technique and systems selective, XLRI, what matters most is words. Nothing holds more significance than the fine print. His collection of over 3,000 books is his prized possession and Tamonas has found a new world for himself in them.
Walk into his office and you will find more in this man’s booty. A PHD in mathematics, he loves Coetze as much as he adores the Brahms. He prizes his complete collection of Kafka just like he can’t get over Beethoven.
A man with a classy taste in literature and music, Tamonas says, “Pulp fiction is not my kind of stuff.” And why not, for one who has tasted the richness of literary novels like Coetze’s “Disgrace” and “Waiting for the Barbarians” and Marcel Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past”, anything short of it is not good enough.
“The originality of idea, the aesthetic mature of his writing and the stylistic aspects of Kafka bowled me over. And as for Proust, the seven volume work of about 4,200 pages gave me an unparalleled literary treat. I must say I have not chanced upon such unconventional experiments in any author,” he admits. , says Tamonas, a dreamy smile flitting across his face.
Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Tamonas was introduced to literature, culture and painting by his father. “My grand collection of books is part of a family heirloom. Previously I used to travel a lot to buy books for my collection mainly because there weren’t any good bookshops in Calcutta. But now Landmark in Calcutta is my favourite book-hunting spot. Besides, I also like the collection at Bookworm in Khan market Delhi and Crosswords at Delhi and Bombay,” Tamonas explains.
To this professor of many parts the definition of pleasure and fun is rather unconventional.
“I am not among those who thrive on material possessions. Yes, you can say I will give in to the temptation of a 29-inch television simply because it will ensure better viewing . But too much of socialising is not my cup of tea. I love to spend my time reading instead. I personally feel literature cannot be understood without knowing the history behind it. It is the same with music,” he adds.
His daughter Jagriti, a student of Class XI, too swears by books. “My family comprises avid readers so we spend a lot of time together engrossed in books. Of late I have introduced my daughter to the works of Tolstoy and Dotoevsky and she seems to loves it. Literature is not just stories but the entire world compressed in words. It encompasses the social, historically and economical history of our times.”
Tamonas enjoys his Solhello or Jaques Berzun reclining on the bed in his study-cum-bedroom which has on display all his collection well kept in a glass case. “The reading habit is dying. People rarely read books leave alone buying them. Take for example the book fair in the city and you will find nothing beyond a few technical or children’s books. But then each to their own. Some people are interested in the share market, some in politics and some like me thrive on literature. I have changed with the books I have read. And in this evolution I have identified myself more with the authors than the characters or situations. That is perhaps because with time even literature evolves.”
Drawing a parallel between mathematics and music, Tamonas explains, “Discrete mathematics and music go hand in hand. Music which can be categorised into rhythm, melody and harmony is based on mathematical concepts. For instance, Indian classical music does not have much harmony while it is predominant in western classical music. In the West, great mathematicians have a strange penchant for music.” In a league of his own that’s Tamonas Gangopadhyay for you.
- UNQUOTE.

No marks for finding the probability of me going to borrow the book from Dr. T. Gangopadhyay :)

Any QT toppers volunteering for help ?

PS - sorry .. Kuttas at XL delayed.
PSS - Passing the course in Financial management - I is gonna be damn tough for me. Unlike some of my fellow mates with a high a romantic quotient, I fail to understand the logic of portfolio diversification and believe in investing in a single fixed income security.

Shapeless musings - III

I am sleeping for more than 12 hrs. a day, watching a movie everyday and yet I am damn damn busy. So busy I wudn't call up my loved ones, so busy i won't care to return the books I took eons of days back from the library, so busy I won't try to make my room a tinge cleaner, so busy I won't collect my stuff which hoards about 5 other friends room in this hostel. So, busy I won't write the blog I promised to my friends, so busy that I won't my friends up and say how much I miss them. I am so busy I don't have the time to watch India Pak one dayers, I am so busy that I don't attend any more lectures in the institute, so busy to pay bills to the dhobi and local eatery, so busy I don't have time to read any newspapers or magazines, so busy that I've stopped chatting on the internet, so busy that I don't even collect my answer sheet of the last midterm, so busy i don't give a f*cking damn to the no. of people dying in nandigram, so busy I don't care where the stock market is headed, so busy I won't follow up on my previous companies for my dues, so busy to send a diwali greeting to any of my friends, so busy to loiter out and visit a durga pooja pandal, so busy I don't have time to go the market, so busy to whisper my thoughts in her ears, so busy to share that joke with my friends, so busy to find that time to kill myself, so busy to kill some other idiots around.
But then there are some strange things going around nowadays. The red tinge in the evening sky doesn't mellow down the chirping sparrows anymore. That thunder roar doesn't frighten me anymore. There is a mirage'ous' bridge just ahead of me. I don't wish but yet would be crossing it. The horses are just set loose in their ranch. The wild beast watches them in their fancy as they move gracefully and make a nebulous frenzy of dust around. It watches patiently, silently amid those distant grassy plains sitting behind a pure rivulet which for the time being seems to have suddenly changed its course. The curtains on a old man's window flutter in the wind. A puff of smoke creates a king's crown in the air. A trendy music suddenly turns loud. With truth being rationed, will the empire tumble ?

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

title nahi suz raha :(

Dear Friends,

Please do not read this post, as it is specifically written only for my dear Mr. / Ms. Anonymous. Mr. / Ms. anonymous has given a comment on one of my recent posts " XL ki billiya' without disclosing his / her identity. hey..why r u reading this...i told u naa......kisi aur ki chittiya padhna acchi baat nahi hai....school mein master ji ne nahi sikhaya kya. As my poor self isn't aware of any technology to locate mr. / ms. anonymous, i present herewith my response to Mr. / Ms. anonymous's following comment


Anonymous said...
hi.. this post is entirely offensive and meant in bad taste. i suggest you remove it and immediately a it serves no purpose and acts ony as a refelction of a paedophile who is lurking the corners of this institute waiting for his sickly turn





Dear Mr. / Ms. Anonymous.

I hope this letter finds you in pink of your health and fitness. I was really impressed by your comment on my post. Anyways, First things first. Although my blog posts are grammatically as perfect as a reverse sweep by Harbhajan, yet for the sake of language I would like to kindly suggest (or may I 'plead') that 'sickly turn' is an absolute murder of the language.

As your good self has not given me the priviledge of knowing your identity, I find your idea of ‘suggesting' me something, and then praising me with highly unwarranted adjectives viz. paedolofile ( oops….i’m so bad in speellings) seems to be the creation of a person bestowed with unparalleled showers of stupidity.

I know my sense of humour is as great as sunny deol's dance, but ( again but...)I expected readers of this blog to have a brain slightly bigger than the size of a mosquito egg to appreciate this as just one another post written for the only purpose of some light hearted banter.

But ( again this buts naaa….) considering that you've taken it so seriously, my imaginations of guessing your identity seems to point towards that smiling idiot who looks like an envelope without an address on it. Or may be you are that highly modest clown with so much to be modest about. Considering my limited interactions with you, I fail to judge whether you are always so stupid, or was this just a special occasion. Though many normal specimens have an ultra strong urge to hit you hard in your face, but improving your looks for free doesn’t make good business sense, in whatsoever business one is.

Despite my best efforts, I fail to make any conclusion towards your identity Mr. / Ms. Anonymous. Anyways, I would be utmost glad to remove the post from my blog, subject to you coming out of anonymity.

I may have 'heaps' of differences with your thoughts, but I'll defend your right to speak up and express your views with my utmost might, if (....yaa, again this ifs and buts. I hate ifs, but love butts) I could have known your good self Mr./ Ms. Anonymous.
I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

Cheers,

The chaotic mind.

Disclaimer : "XL ki billiya' post bears no resemblance with any cat living or dead. In case of any such partial or full resemblance, it should be considered as purely coincidental.

PS: hey, did you notice, I m getting good at writing disclaimers . J
PSS : I have got a bit too religious nowadays and am regularly watching Ramayan – Ram laxman janki, jai bolo dasrath ki. ( oops..i mean hanuman ? ki)

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I AM NOT GAY

I have heard my professors time and again emphasizing on the diversity of our batch. As I browse through some recent management journals ( haan bhai haan…apun XLRI mein padhte badhte bhi hai), I feel that every Tom, Dick and Harry has suddenly been blessed by the ‘Atma Gyaan’ of the importance and essentiality of diversity in today’s modern day management. Watching the starcasts of some recent bollywood flicks, I am sure that even Ramu, Dhawan and Barjadtya have been reading some management books of late rather than ‘filmy’ scripts. Hmmm…hmm……Oops… I just forgot the point why I started writing this post at one in the night, inspite of having a few thousand tones of management books to read. Yeh filmi log bhi naa, sab kuch bhula dete hai…Anyways, I will carry on with some other bullshit.

I have been indeed wondering on the diversity of the orkut members since the day I opened an orkut account, due to the unparalleled diversity of the ‘recent visitors’ on my orkut profile. The probability of me knowing atleast one of the five members displayed in the recent visitors section is as high as the probability of Australia cricket team winning a ‘good conduct’ medal multiplied by the probability of Imran kissmi ( I mean Hasmi) not kissing Mallika Sherawat in a forthcoming movie…. (Hmm…..btw, I am desperately searching for a DVD of the film ‘Murder’. If you have it, just send me across …plzzzzzz). Some novel profiles I discovered on my recent visitors list in the past three days are indeed astounding. I am really shocked as to why a cool Latino babe from Brazil would have visited my profile. I get dumbfounded when an octogenarian from Kyrgyzstan peeps out on my recent visitors list. A Polish glassmaker, a paleontologist from Norway and an Israeli farmer ( I know what farming you do, my dear ‘grassy’ pal). A smart Tamilian girl ‘Sunitha’ however is welcome, though I would have preferred her name to be ‘Sunita’. But 'Ranjitha' is definitely not welcome. With her picture missing on the orkut profile, the best way in which I could imagine her is as a twin sister of Rajnikanth, and that too with thick moustaches.

But most of all, I was shocked at the frequency of a particular ‘type of ‘abnormal’ males interested in undergoing some intimate experiences with fellow males. I have absolutely no idea about their happiness quotient, but they are labeled by the society in general as ‘gay’. Finding such creatures with an alarming regularity on my profile made me really wonder whether traits of such ‘man’ly inclination is really abnormal or am I under the false perception of considering myself ‘normal’ with my sexual inclinations towards the fairer sex. A intelligent ‘male’ friend ( no ideas please !) solved the mystery by pointing towards a one liner on my profile, which read ‘ I still love Sachin Tendulkar, I am not gay’. Probably this ‘swingers’ would have made an ineffective use of the Orkut search option by typing ‘ gay’ in the search criteria, and would have been mislead to my profile. I sincerely offer my deepest apologies for putting such lines on my profile, which lead to waste of their highly precious time.

Yet to make my point clear, let me emphatically announce for once and for all that I am not by any farthest stretch of imagination anywhere close to being gay. My physical interests in ‘male’ specimens of Homo Sapiens Sapiens are as high as Rakhi Sawant’s neckline ( ooyee…. you dirty mind, concentrate on reading the post) and the salary of an Indian hockey player. Let me reiterate, I am just happy, not gay. I don’t have any affiliations whatsoever with GALAXY group at XL, and I am ‘cock’sure of it. The chances of my sexual inclinations towards a male counterpart are as bright as an underpaid pornstar in a Thamilian ( I mean Tamilian) porn flick. I don’t have any crush ‘even’ on Shahid Kapoor.
I am in strong opposition to gender equality. I prefer a specimen of female human spieces to a male specimen on any day, and even any night. (In fact, more so in the night). Yesterday, I also removed that song from Raj Kapoor’s (are he is the father of Shahid Kapoor’s to be father-in-law) film from my play list. The song went something like this ‘ Aadmi huun, aadmi se pyaar karta huun’. After seeing the intermingling among the Indian cricket team on the ground, when it won the 20-20 world cup, makes me think that contacting them would be more fruitful for the desperate ‘gays’ ( I mean guys) visiting my profile.

PS : All said and done, I still love Sachin Tendulkar.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

shapeless musings 2

The storm has now mellowed. The cavalry of dark clouds smoothly floats over the distant mountain. A lull of serene silence lends a distinct touch to the atmosphere. A gentle blow of air touches my cheek. It is twilight. The rays of the sedate sun struggle to make their way through the maze of clouds to reach the ground. The chirping of the birds suddenly dissipates in this forlorn silence. A stroke of divine brush creates a spectacular rainbow. A circle of black smoke emanicipates from a distant chimney. The waters in the river seem to be backtracking to reach its source like a lady desperate to meet her love whom she had left. A little child runs alongside a tyre in tarnished clothes, as if racing with the river waters. He coos back at the songs of a cuckoo. The red flag on the temple flutters gleefully greeting the dard clouds bid adieu. A piece of broken crockery is discovered by a bright coloured sand trotting mollusc. A pretty girl with her locks falling into her eyes gazes at the varied coloured eastern sky. She throws up her arms to reach and catch hold of the rainbow. An aroma of wet sand adds a tint of fragrance to the surroundings. A drizzle soon follows.
A piece of silk cloth gets strangulated midair in hideous curved branches of the peepal. And then a train whistle breaks this natures' moment of romance. I believe the train needs to carry on with its journey. I wonder which destination is the train headed towards. Is destination the journey or journey the destination? Suddenly, I hear the girls' shrill cry.
What is this life, if full of care.
We have no time to stand and stare.
No time to stare at a beauty's glance,
And watch how well her feet can dance;
No time to wait till her lips can,
Enrich the smile her eyes began ......
No comments please.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

XL ki billiya...

ORIGINAL CONTENTS OF THIS POST DELETED

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Penny wise, Pound foolish

Well, the title aptly suits the NHAI which comes out with creative bidding guidelines for its BOOT projects. World over, as the project development companies try to bring more objectivity into their bidding documents and guidelines, NHAI seems to go otherwise. The recently issued bidding requirement for the project undertaking agency to share a proportion of profits ( and the way as mentioend in the model concession agreement) with NHAI is the most absurdest thing possible for a road construction project. The creativity doesn't end here. They intend to make the project company pay higher share of revenue incase of the actual traffic is higher than the projected. In case, the actual traffic is lower than the projected, it may lead to increase in lease period. Probably, NHAI may consider this the balancing act, and I term it 'a grotesque debacle in the making'. My friends at NHAI have 'correctly identified' ( as if they didn't knew it earlier) that the major obstacle was getting land buyouts for the project. So, they opted to lower the ceiling of land requirement before issuing 'notice to proceed' from 80 % to 60 %. Probably, they want to postpone facing the known devil to a bit later stage and make the executing agency incur irrecoverable costs till then.
Was that Monteksingh Ahluwalia shouting ' public private partnership ' ? 'F.O.' is gonna be the reply of private construction companies. Hope the real Dr. Singh roars soon ....!!!!

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Munnabhai MBA @ XL

abe oo chapadganju, aise kya ullu ki tarah aankhein faad faad ke padh rahela hai..pahechana nahi kya bidu, ...apun ...munnabhai...aajkal XLRI mein MBA karne ko aayela hai..woh saaala medical college mein us buddhe ghusat asthana se apun ka jaama nahi, to mba karna ko aa gaya. ek din bada aadmi jo ban na hai ...ab tu puchega circuit kaahan hai...? are puch na...tension kay ko leta hai....jo man mein aaaya, puch dalne kaa...woh kya hua, circuit ke short circuit ko sardi ho gayela hai, to apun ne bol diya circuit ko ki tu ekdum bacche ke health ka pura care karne ka...time par dawa-daru sab dene ka. khali pili apun ka tenson nahi lene ka...apun chalta hai na akela hi XL mein..to apun akela hi XL mein MBA karne ko aa gaya. yaahan ka saala sab mastar log bahut hoshiyar hai....bahut saara padhata hai...apun bhi ekdum padhai pe dhyyaan de rahela hai...chana khaata hai, aur padhta hai....baaki sab bhaigiri ekdum bandh. magar phir bhi, kuch subjects mein apun ki ekdum lag raheli hai...


ek din apun ke OB ka professor bola. ki apun ka surprise test honewala hai. apun socha ki saala surprise se test hoga, yaa test mein surprise hoga. baad mein us prof. ne result mein surprise diya. apne life mein pahele se hi itna drama, tragedy, emotion hai ...usmein surprise kyun dalneka...? abhi OB ke prof. ne hi bola tha apun ko ' jo tum sochta hai, wohi sach hai'...bole to angrezi mein ' your perception is reality'. to phir apun itna soch ke sab saach saach jawab diya exam mein, to usne negative marks de diya....magar apun piche nahi hatnewala. bapu ne kaaha tha ki agar tumhe viswas hai ki tum sach ke saath ho, to prof. kya cheez hai, duniya ki koi taakat tumhare saamne tik nahi sakti..'perception is reality'


apun ne ECO ke prof. se puccha...jo kaam apun nahi kiyela hai, uske liye tum apun ko panishment dega kya, mamu ?. woh bola, agar tune nahi kiyela hai, to apun kya yeda ho gayela hai jo tuzko punishment dega. abhi apun ko usne itna bada, woh kya bolte hai ...haan aaaswaaasaan diya, to apun ne bhi bilkul baapu ki maafik sach bak diya. ..apun usko ekdum bindaas hokar bol dala ' ke apun ne homework nahi kiyela hai.." aur prof. ne apun ke grades ki bole to ekdum vaat laga daali....bapu, kaahan ho tum !!! lagta hai, apun ko abhi gandhigiri suru karni padegi..


apun ke MARKETING ke prof. ne kaha ki apun chocolates bechne ka project kare...chocolates ..are yeh saala, lafda ho gaya...agar charas, ganja bechna ho to, apun ka pura network ekdum jamela hai...woh..raju phirki aur fati chaadi ....apun ka j chokra log hai. duniya mein aakhe india ka market leader hai. magar yeh chocolate. apun to kabhi choclate khaya nahi..bas ek bar chinki ne diya tha bachpan mein...!!! to apun sidha bapu ko yaad kiya aur woh fatak dekar tapak gaya. bapu ko chocolate bahut pasand thi, magar bapu ki mummy bapu ko kabhi choclate khane hi nahi deti thi...ekdum nana patekar ki maafik gussa hokar bolti thi...daant sad jayega, to dentist mamu kya tera ristedar lagta hai..achanak apun ka dimaag thanka. apun ne aur bapu ne daant kharab na ho, aisa choclate bana dala..abhi bacche bhi khush, bacche ke maa bhi khush, apun bhi khush, bapu bhi khush, aur woh apne marketing ka prof. bhi fultoo khush..waise 'daant kharab na ho, aur ekdum strong ho jaaye' aisi chocolate kaise banegi aur kaise bikegi, yeh jaanna ho in cadbury aur nestle waloon ko, to apun ke kamre mein 3 peti bhijwa dena..areee ....peti bole to choclate ki peti bidu..tu kya soch rahela tha..

chalo abhi apun ke chana khana ka time ho gaya....baaki subjects aur masterlog ke baare mein phir kabhi...apne bhopu mein abhi gaana baj rahela hai ..' sabka katega..'

My Table

Today, I have a fresh look over my demented table which hosts scores of correspondances I have made over the past six months and have relegated them to my table owing to their relative sequential insignificance over those which I got filed (by someone else, ofcourse) Yeah…! My table adorns a look as clean as an unowned public toilet across the railway station, except for the fragrance. My table hosts paper forests more dense than that of Amazon, and I am sure Saddam would have been better off hiding admist these unfathomable blocks of papyrus products than some pigeonhole in downtown Iraq. Hey Osama….I am giving ideas.! I make a third attempt in vain to unravel two pages of some sordid three month old correspondances and my probability of finding it out this time is as good as finding strands of silky hair on Anupam Kher’s head. After 30 minutes of a ransack operation, I give up the hope. But as “jo hota hai..acche ke liye…” funda, I have uncovered fossil of my Reynolds pen lid, a strap of stapler pins, a rubber band, a visiting card of an important contact, my salary slips, an unread issue of power line magazine, ear plugs and a box of condoms. Okie…that condom thing is a joke, but I have had tangible returns for my efforts. Well, this is not the first instance, wherein I have lost some important “bunch” of documents. It happens to me with alarming regularity, with frequency more than that of a laughter roar by Siddhu on one more pathetic joke, or Imran Hashmi kissing a cool clad free girl around. (I am seriously thinking of a role switch with him). My work desk boasts of being the messiest (aisa word hai kya) thing in a radius of 2 kms. (Why 2 kms ? Because, my house is at 2 km from office) Maybe, the entire BMC staff can be busy for a whole “cleanliness year”, if they dare to set my room straight. Exotic fragrances galore, as lifeless bodies of beautiful darkly coloured cockroaches and other near extinct species of insects adorn almost every second inch of space. No, I won’t go on any further describing the eternal beautification which I have done to my room. Kisiki nazaar lag jayegi to? My ex-boss once commented to me “Kutte bhi puch (tail) maar kar baith te hai”. For the unintelligible few who can’t comprehend that mundane language , it means that even dogs have a sweep with their tails before they sit”. My reaction was a look at my boss’ desk, an eye of appreciation for its cleanliness and a look at his back. Nope, I couldn’t figure out where the tail was. Unfortunately, as I have evolved a bit further from being a dog to something called Homo Sapien Sapiens ( No, I am not refuting anti-Darwinian God-made-all theory), I feel myself ill equipped to figure out an anatomical part to be used instantly on traces of such mess. So, I continue to remain in whirlwinds of such plethora of papers around me in office, desperately waiting for some sound headed, tail-bottomed gentleman ( lady will also do) to arrive and pull me out of this valley of papers, just as a bollywood macho man picks up this heroine hanging on a single hand on the rocks twenty thousand feet above the ground.
Afterthought 1 - Once Ms. Sandhya said (Hey..No Ideas please, she was my Class I teacher) that Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Probably, I am more close to Devil “ Messiness is next to devilishness”.
Afterthought 2 – I am a strong supporter of Jack Welch’s “Paperless office” concept.
Afterthought 3- To all single and "yet" looking girls out there.....Its just a joke. I am gonna help my to-be-wife in keeping house neat and clean. sacchi...

Sunday, June 24, 2007

RACE

'Few things never change', said so Philip to himself with an enigmatic grin on his face. As he walked restlessly in the corridors of Mumbai's airport, his indifference to the ringing cell disturbed few around. 15,000 miles Rachna, sitting at Heathrow airport with a newspaper in hand, gazing at the glass ceiling slids her hand through her hair. She wants to have coffee but feels too scared to get up. A blue liner lands in the background as Surya gets desperate to have a fag after sitting for over 2 hours at the Baroda flipping through pages of a comic. He feels the touch of sunrays on his hands.
Three people, three locations, three destinations but one aim. The Race for the ultimate begins

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

ek aur idea...

Global Warming has been the buzzword today. The unshakeable Mr. Bush has from God knows what corners has become suddenly concerned by the rising levels of Green house gases. A little bird tells me that a cow died due to excessive heat in his Texas ranch (and you blooooody thought that only Indian leaders ? have cows) . In the meantime, Ms. Maneka Gandhi is already busy making plans for an international agitation. C'mon I am not anti-maneka. However, lately this unchallenged 'animal' activist has come out with an environmental concern pertaining to pollution caused by burning dead bodies...(haan bhai haan, muzhe pata hai.....burning live bodies also leads to pollution). Assuming a mortality rate of 1 %, burning approx. 1 crore dead bodies, each requiring about 500 kg . of wood will result in consumption of nearly 5 million tonnnes of wood, and equivalent amount of electricity consumption in modern day crematoriums per year. Alternative means for the same if implemented would go a long way in reducing our emissions. But easier said than done. It looks really too difficult for India, the nation of controversies to make such a drastic shift, especially with religious sentiments running on all time high. Also, alternative means for the same need critical evaluation. Even if feasible alternative means for cremating dead bodies are found, lack of political will and social consensus would always be the major hindrances. I think a way out is to dispose off dead bodies in the open for feeding chils, kuttas and kauvas(bole to crows, u dumbo..hindi nahi aati kya ? ). After all, they are also living beings. Its our moral responsibility to take care of their dietary requirements. I know, none of you, except Ms. Maneka Gandhi will approve of this outstanding idea of mine. hmm..seems one more brilliant idea of mine is gonna go unnoticed. *f&$^- u crappy idiots..!!
PS : A recent research proved severe heart burns do not contribute to pollution. Carry on girls.
PSS: Another geek after his untiring labourious efforts finally succeeded in explaining me the reason for a ceiling friend having three fins(read previous post).

PSSS: From where and why does noise come when one tears paper ? Any gyani ppl. around ?

PSSSS : Click on the ads below..Support this blog



shapeless musings

Its nearly 2 am in the morning. Having just retired to bed couple of minutes prior, my fatigued body took to hibernation in a split second. But a jubiliant caravan disturbed it. Hoping for the caravan to pass away, I made my best attempt to resign self to slumber. But the adamant caravan had taken a break nearby. ' raahi judte gaaye, kaarvaan badhta gaaya'. Its now about 4 am. .But having observed the intrinsic liking of the caravan for the nearby place, I get a feeling that even a thought of sleep under the circumstance would be at best, very optimistc. I try my hand at completing an old poem, but make a big mess of it. Yaa....even bigger mess than what I made of this post ! Meanwhile, bright, enthusiatic, cheerful guys in their tryst with the destiny of love mingled with beautiful girls, playing 'kiddin'' games, holding hands and holding ^#$# (abe mamu, mazaak kar rahela hai). The merrymaking is far from over. Subtle play of guitar accompanied by fresh young voices recuperates continously. Man, there is love in the air!!!! Old jokes shared and laughed at, girlie giggling continues, flirtatious tendencies displayed at best, and......Hey , hold on ! A little lonely star is soon soon 'gonna' get relegated under the clouds. Some 'clouds' are bent on diminishing the little star's shine. A puff of smoke emanicipates from a distant cig. A shrill cry of cuckoo goes unheard. I can't see that little star right now. The cuckoo wants to make its presence felt, but poor little creature. Who would like to even see such an ugly little bird, no matter how well it sings. Suddenly a drifting cloud makes a way for the little star. The star just seems so near. I think that there is a huge storm concealed in the tears which are now almost instoppable from the star's eye. And now, I am waiting for the sun to rise. But hey...!!! Somehow, i feel the phoenix is rising too....


PS : If you can't 'understand' the above post, better not comment. and if you can, please explain me too.....even, I can't understand 'this'..!!!!

Monday, June 18, 2007

To my dear fan

I sit on my bed with almost a dozens of books and thousands of other artifacts. I give up my on my writing a decent article for the upcoming issue of a infra. biz. magazine. A nearby wall lizard watches me in attention as I flip disdainfully through the pages of one of my chronically erroneous articles. The humidity in this part of the country making me realize that the human body consists of 70 % of water..(C'mon..Though many disagree, I am a human too). I have a sadistic look at my fan, which nearly smirks at me as I battle like a little David against the mighty Goliathic heat. Meanwhile, I wonder why this fan has three fins and what the fins may be talking within themselves about me. It has watched me in all my emotions, crying at times, cribbing at times, laughing over some old joke. It has watched me as I undertake my journey down the memory lane, as I bathe in sunlight, watch the crisp flight of the eagle on a bright morning. It has watched me dreaming about that wonderful future that lies ahead, as I gaze at the half lit moon making its way among dimming stars. It has watched me as I fill myself with the cool breeze and hope it goes as far as I would wish it should. It has watched me as I exchange smiles with the sunflowers adorning the lawn ahead. It has been there when I do just close my eyes, hoping to find someone when I open it. It has seen those tears, those laughs which no one has ever and never will. It has been a witness of the constant surges of emotions, those spurts of energy which make me the unparalleled at times, those fleeting moments where I become just a spectator to my life which keeps heading on a freeway and destined for a sudden end.
'Dear fan. I never thought I would say this. But, I've never cared for you, never thought of you, and I'll move on one day leaving you. I have been turning you on and off, whenever I feel like. SORRY..! I wish you read this someday. Anyways, words are poor conveyors, the heart knows itself.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

yeh kya ho raha hai...

People have never been so insane. Believe the world is moving the other way round. Mr. Bush has suddenly become worried about global warming. The 64 year ' old' man of the millenium is making love in films with cutie pies and girls. Chief Justice in Pakistan has been talking of ethics and responsibility. The man who ushered liberalization in India as a finance minister has got 'too' socially responsibile and has been presenting his views on inclusive growth. The main ruling party couldn't decide on the next president. A liberal leader becomes the premier of France, the tradiational socialist bastion of Europe. Our Hon'ble railway minister is busy taking business classes. ( Hope XLRI doesn't call him to share his gyan in his home state). The highly conservative Tata Group goes on a idiotic, absolutely illogical ( anything that can't be explained by logic is strategic). acquistion spree. The king of good times copulates with the common man. The no. of farmers committing suicide is just a statistic for the Hon'ble Agricultural minister...Bravo Minister... some wise man correctly said ' A single death is a tragedy, a million death a statistic. And finally, I am attending more than half the lectures at XL....sob....sob...

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Dhakka maro dhaaka.....

Well, few days back some people in Bihar had the most dramatic experience of their life, while travelling in a train. The train staff asked them to push the train for a while. After being pushed for nearly half an hour by a 1000 odd people, the train did move twelve feet. The overhead traction lines in Eastern railway aren't continous. Neither they need to be. The train normally runs a short distance due to its momentum without the traction. But exceptions to scientific laws are becoming too frequent nowadays. The train stopped 12 feet short of the next overhead line.
I am huming that Govinda 's song 'This happens only in India'....and you thought, its only the superman who pushes train...uhh...!
PS: Traction or no traction, the trains will always move in Railways ministers state.

Friday, June 15, 2007

First Impressions - Jamshedpur

After 38 most boring hours of my life, I finally landed by Howrah Express in India's first planned township, Jamshedpur, named after the legendary visionary Jamsedji Tata, the centre figure of India's biggest business house. A single word which encapsulates my experiences with Jamshedpur is change. The weather changes more frequently than Dhoni changes his gloves and probably for the same reason - humidity......gosh..! u picked up on the jharkhand connection...wah wah ..! Even the rates of every commodity from needle to an almirah are as flexible as Indian batting. Surprises everywhere. The population here is Bongopolitan, with dadas contributing ..oops, consisting of 40 % of the population. By the way, I find 'dadis' with their big big big eyes and tonnes of lipstick fascinating. With the remaining 60 % (abhi tak dadi par hi atke ho kya....!)forming a perfect sample for the 'rest of india' population, (sample, population...wat am i saying...still the hangover of the mahaboring statistics class), the rest of the town is as demographically diverse as the starcast of L.O.C ( haven't seen that movie...lucky you). The markets here have a million shops. I believe the no. of shops outnumbers the population. The gardens here are as beautiful as they can be. Well maintained numbered roads ( reminds me of Gandhinagar, Chandigarh) with plantations running parallel presents a nice view. The hills in the background add to the scenic beauty of the place. The smoke from the chimney of Tata Steel plant at times tends to disturb this otherwise serene place. Seems, I am going to miss the hustle and bustle of Ahmedabad....more on jams'r later....ciao


Sunday, June 10, 2007

Golden Rules - II

As I take a career break after spending four years in job, I present here a concise list of my Golden Rules for a sureshot rise in the corporate world, many of which I learned the hard way.

  1. Diplomacy always pays.
  2. At times, bluntness pays better.
  3. Commit honestly. Have courage to back out from commitments, if required.
  4. Wasting time isn't a waste always. Even if that means discussing economic policies of Banana Rep. with your boss.
  5. Everybody can't be equally talented in all aspects. Let the relevant person take leadership in his area of talent.
  6. Appreciate efforts, no matter what the result.
  7. Life isn't fair. The best person doesn't always win. Learn to live with it.
  8. Take breaks whenever you feel like. Don't wait for the workload to get less. The world isn't going to stop for you to get off.
  9. Don't bury things. Admit mistakes tactfully.
  10. Money matters.
  11. Having a contigency job on hand is always better.
  12. Be patient. There are many more people who put up with more crap than you do .
  13. Value other people's time.
  14. Wear a smile.
  15. Bypassing your boss is a high risk - high return strategy. Not for the amateurs.
  16. Carry your work home, not the pressure.
  17. Don't chase fads.
  18. You don't work for the betterment of the organization. You work so that your boss looks best.
  19. Having only one godfather in a company can be brutal. Instead have none.
  20. Nothing is so important or so urgent to make you tense.
  21. Office parties/ picnics are never casual.
  22. Two people can keep a secret, if one is dead.
  23. Fairer sex is not always preferred.
  24. To rise high, 'Smartness may be tolerated. Shrewdness would be demanded.'
  25. There are shortcuts to success.
  26. You won't stick to all of your today's perceptions tomorrow. Respect people who differ.
  27. Prejudices exist. Biases are inevitable.
  28. You ought to be good at networking.
  29. If not, make close friends with the one who has the biggest network within as well as outside the company.
  30. If you keep on doing things you do best, you restrict your chances to improve.
  31. Try to get into a comfort zone as soon as possible. Never stay in a comfort zone for long.
  32. Hardworking, intelligent, asslicker is as good as it gets.
  33. Professional hazards exist everywhere. Don't whine.
  34. Its better to be true than humble at times.
  35. Take care of your health. You ought to live to reach at the top.
  36. Back your men; sun, wind or snow.
  37. And the last two things. a) Never share everything you know. b).....

I am hot

I am hot. I am hotter...No, its not metaphor silly...I was literally hot and hotter than the hot weather in A'bad. With the mercury in the city touching 102 F, my thermometer indicated the temp. of the dorsal portion of my temporally resting tongue as 104 F. That should mean I am giving energy to the surroundings which is at a temperature lower than me. Well, how about rearing this viruses(which cause fever) and implanting them in human to make them inexhaustible sources of heat energy(until they drop dead). Energy security problem solved.....! Ain't I a genius ? Well, guess the fever has finally made its way somehow to my brain. (Please don't doubt. It exists. An X-ray did reveal it to put an end to the perennial question which boggled me since times immemorial. Meantime, I am currently on a mission to defame those idiots who made me cram the second law of thermodynamics)
But more than the fever, it was the realization of my failing desperateness which turned me sad. My desperateness to meet some of my 'darlingest' (no ideas please) friends in A'bad and Baroda before I move on to Jharkhand. Again, the same cliche 'If wishes were horses, men would ride.'

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Gentlewoman's game

Today I watched the fastest bowler in modern cricket. The fastest delivery was at an express speed of 107 km/ hr, with an average of 100 km/hr C'mon...I'm not kidding. The key is, I am referring to women's cricket. I think a spinner like Kumble bowls faster than that. Also, the words to which the women bowlers are complete strangers are line and length ( how does length matter to them anyway....). The only comforting aspect is that the fastest bowler is an Indian. But the quality of play is such that even an under 14 mens team of Sikkim (or Mizoram) would have felt as invincible as Australia playing Bermuda, if they have a match with any damn national team in women's international cricket. Well, cricket too like many other sports is purely a man's sport. It is not for without reasons that cricket is called a 'gentleman's game.' Women, I believe are too gentle for it.
PS : And had it not for the glamour and short skirts, I wonder how many would have ever watched women's tennis. I am not an anti-feminist, or a maso chauvinist pig. I have all the due regards for the fairer sex( By the way, I watched Serena Williams playing q.f. at French open. Does she also belong to the fairer sex ?).

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Shadow ESOP

ESOPs have always been an instrumental tool for financial planning and retaining top talent by corporates in the West. Since mid 90s' this financial instrument has made its headway in India too, albeit on a smaller .Though it was Reliance first who thought of implementing it in India, many other corporates took the lead in this regard. ESOP has always been a classic case of deft financial jugglery, and the juggler's improving. The latest on the list is DLF. And they call their brainchild ' Shadow' ESOP.
In a normal ESOP, the company allots you say 1000 shares at Rs. 10 (to be paid later) with a vesting period of 5 years. You sit idle on your 'alloted shares' for five years. If the market value of share is Rs. 50 at end of five years,you just need to pay Rs. 10,000 ( 1000 X 10) to the company and get those shares.
In case of a shadow ESOP, you'll pay nothing, but the company will pay you Rs. 40,000 ( the diff. between market value and value offered to you) or the option to continue your 'shadow' stock. Direct benefits of this method is that it doesn't lead to any further issue of shares and hence no equity dilution. Also, your EPS remains intact. The other side of the coin, it results into a direct cash outflow from the company. Well, the accountants are sure in for some restless nights as they try to figure out the appropriation methodology for this potential outflows.
PS : DLF stands for ..'Damn Lucky Fellow'..(c'mon i m not kiddin this time, sacchi....ask K.P. Singh, the real DLF)

Friday, June 1, 2007

Paradoxical paradoxes

- A community in Rajasthan resorts to violent means to get itself registered as a ‘scheduled tribe’. During 1931 census, there were massive protests by some castes as they were enlisted to relatively ‘lower castes’. Jay Bhim. Jay Mandal.
- Though we have made significant strides for reshaping the economy from a state centred, highly regulated to market driven, the ‘Five Year Plans’ continue to serve as a prime tool in the eyes of finance ministry, Planning Commission and PMO. I think, a 50 year old socialist trademark won’t wither away so easily.
- Business Standard prints news pertaining to Intas (an Ahmedabad based pharma. Co.) acquiring Verionics twice on two different pages on the same day. One printed in the page detailing biz. News from West, and one on national. An Editing blunder or absence of any other significant happenings. I better not reveal my guess.
- No official message or communication on ‘Labour Day’ by CPI (M).
- Election of a right winged candidate in third consecutive presidential election in France, believed to be modern Europe’s socialist bastion and the only truly welfare state in Western Europe.
- BCCI having tough times to find a sponsor for cricket team’s tour to Ireland and England.
- The girl from China bags Miss Congeniality award at Miss Universe competition.
- And finally, a RIL SEZ project at Navi Mumbai gets delayed inordinately in getting approvals. Isn’t it a paradox?

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Advertising for B-2-B

Branding through means of mass communication was something unheard for companies primarily in B-2-B transactions. Their limited and almost predefined customer base made it unsuitable and unworthy to resort to such exercise. Rather their advertising campaigns were limited to having stalls in ‘meets’, promotions at related conferences, ads in business magazines and pink dailies and direct mailing to selected potential customers. Nothing much has changed till date. However, suddenly there have been quite a few advertisements of some B-2-B transactional corporates. Though there aren’t pouring cats and dogs at the time, they are significant enough to indicate a trend, if not to reach a conclusion. Birla Group ads have been quite eminent across channels since last few months. Recently, Jaypee group and HCL are flooding the channels. (Though I personally find HCL’s adv. very unnerving. There is a thin line between self esteem and ego, and the commercial to a greater extent tends to be on the wrong side of the line ). L&T’s Imagineering campaign posters had occupied significant space in the print media and on hoarding in metro cities, though they haven’t raided the TV media after their highly emotional ‘ yeh mere papa ne banaya hai’ campaign. There are many other corporates who have resorted to such mass communication in the past one year. But in terms of creativeness, freshness of concept and subtly putting the message across, I think Accenture steals the show.

The core question for crore is then, why are companies involved in pure B-2-B transactions resorting to such full scale public advertising and that too through means of mass communication. Having worked on detailed financials of two major corporates purely in B-2-B transactions, I can safely assert that the proportion of advertising expenses to sales weren’t more than a quarter of a percent about a couple of years back. The same I assume would traditionally be the trend across all sectors and B-2-B companies. May be, the brand awakening and brand building is going to set things to change. However, such corporates aren’t much benefited by brand building if their ads are being viewed by non target customers. Their advertising and marketing campaigns were always deeply influenced by segmentation theory and would remain the same for years to come.

A closer look at the corporates meting out these ads would make you understand that almost all of this have a diverse customer base across sectors, and it would therefore not be absolutely out of place to use mass advertising as a tool to open up new potential customers. Though there are corporates purely in B-2-B transactions, which have thought otherwise. No means to know, whether they are more wise.

However, I feel the real reason lies somewhere else. A booming economy and a talent crunch have resorted corporates to vie for the available talent. A better branded company would find it easier to retain and attract people, other things (i.e. Location, salary, profile, company size) being same or equivalent. People would prefer working with say, Punj Lloyd (their adv. Stinks) than with Patel Engineering (nearly same sized companies). A brand name of a company also commands more loyalty from its employees.

A subordinate reason may be the effect a brand recognization of an organization has on its share price. (For its assumed that brand recognization leads to sustained monetary benefits in the long run). In the race to uphold shareholders’ wealth, several indirect measures are being resorted to ( and why not !) and addressing masses through advertising could be one of the motives.
Anyways, how successful this advertising campaigns have been would not be very discernible. So, just admire Tiger Woods forgetting to consider the rotation of ball(Accenture), enjoy the cuteness of the little boy impressing his baby 'girlfriend'. by operating the Hydro Plant(Jaypee) and helplessly watch the idiotic 'computer guy' talking crap till the innocous investment banker decides to buy out his firm (HCL). :)

Murdering English

Some brutal murders of the language I unfortunately discovered coming from different quarters in the past week.

A letter which self received from SBI started with ‘ Welcome to SBI. We are the only bank among 100 largest banks in the world’. But I didn’t took any offence as they are ready to give me a big loan at cheap rates without any collateral or guarantor. So, I’ll bank with the only bank among world’s 100 largest banks.

Ravi Shashtri coins out an entirely new meaning of ‘ Show no mercy. Take no prisoners’. (who says Indian coaches aren’t creative !). The temporal coach in his defence of using the above phrase said it means to defeat the opposition ‘fairly’ and ‘squarely’. Hmm...Dear Mr. Shashtri, you’re an f*king asshole and that means you have the sexiest butt on the planet. Last heard, Mr. Shastri’s English teacher tried to commit suicide.

A matrimonial advertisement posted by a prospective bride read – ‘I have just one sister married with a kid’. WTH…and I thought child marriages are passé and banned. I think I missed the chance when I was a kid. And read it again. ‘ …JUST ONE sister’. I think some people would be more comfortable writing in the regional languages though in English script, especially while posting matrimonial ads.

For further list, catch on Mr. Bush bullshiting on CNN. After completion(?) of his presidential term, he is planning to opt for a career change as a ‘stand-up’ comedian. He has all the skills needed for that. With his comic face and supreme knowledge on geography, I am sure the swagger 'gonna' be a big hit.

PS: Watching Miss Universe, especially the Q&A reinforced my conviction – ‘ Beauty and brains are diametrically opposite in location and proportions. All five final contestants had pre-prepared answers which were blurted out no matter what the question.

PSS : Any intelligent girl, I am sure, would not deem it worth to spend her precious time to contradict the above statement.

PSSS: How come I am looking so ugly today ?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Ahmedabad

As the time to march towards Jharkhand dawns closer, I am lurking here in my hometown for the last few weeks. Being a forced nomadic and having trot unfathomable places interacting and negotiating with human look-alikes for almost half a decade, I am really confounded as I enjoy uninterrupted full week at home. Agar duniya mein kahin jannat hai, to woh yahi hai, yahi hai, yahi hai. However, absences of some cool sexy apsaras in this jannat is slightly disturbing.

With no flurry of business calls, no official mails, no issues as important as the ‘existence of world’ depending only on me, no non-standard verbal creativeness of customers to be borne every morning, no alarm clocks bothering me (did they ever..?), I have decided to catch up on my lost sleep.( okie, that means I sleep seven hours a day…...alone ofcourse ) My reading inclination seems to have deserted me, and has been replaced by my nonchalant gazes at the idiot box. Seems I am as free as one can be, the word ‘free’ in literary sense. But I think, my honeymoon is going to end soon. Nope, u f*king crap, ‘Honeymoon’ not in literary sense. Samjha kar yaar. I am been assigned the highly tortuous task of cleaning up (or down..watever) my closet which boasts of hoarding more books than LDCE’s library. No ideas please. Not your type of books. Pure academic books, idiot. I think I can start a library if I don’t land up in a decent job.( Till now, I did decent job only. I meant the fat paychecks). And yaa, the list of items to be purchased, ( why do people call it ‘shopping’ ?) seems to be getting as long as Jacob Oram. Considering my super disinclination for purchasing (buddhu, bole to ‘shopping’), even a Tatenda Taibu would have suffice. Has anyone ever outsourced shopping out ? Help..!!..Help..!!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

LD Blues

As I am soon going to leave for Jamshedpur, back to college, yesterday I turned nostalgic about those wonderful college days. Also, as J & S, my best friends were at my place and the semifinal match between Australia and South Africa literally being a one-sided contest, we took off on nostalgia highway to cherish those dream moments till early morning. Some interesting events…..

A blitzkrieg 9 ball 27 run innings in the LD cricket cup finals in 2003 by the worst ever batsman of our team. We went on to win the finals from a dead situation.

Leaflets written in spectacular rhetoric derogatory English by some highly sick idiots and pasted all over the college from classrooms and drawing halls, to library, cricket ground and even toilets alleging my link with a drug racket (oops…) and a former Miss LD, and then the drive undertaken by my friends to remove all of them within a couple of hours.

The petty fights between hostel blocks for some mundane reasons.

The legal battle we 50 odd students, fought against our professors, university, AICTE, and principal in the High Court and lost and finally the celebrations when the H’ble SC altered the ruling in our favour.

The football match in which I broke the arm of one of my best buddies. His falling down almost unconscious, regaining consciousness and uttering ‘ yeh haath katana padega’, and we scoffing at him.

“Managing’ about 2 lakhs of sponsorship for annual culfest from a cold drink company, and finally giving rights of canteen to its competitor.

Having stalls selling 33 paise water pouches at 2 rupees each and then spending the entire amount (about 20 K ) on parties within a month.

Our HOD calling me to testify that K was a student of the college during final year viva. His I-card being not granted as a sufficient proof.

Calling a strike, because a pro gave too much assignments.

A pro getting infuriated at me for reading ‘Business World’ in Material Lab, and challenging me to explain “Hardening Treatment for SS” to the batch, followed by self giving a two hours lecture and professor later borrowing books from me on Heat Treatment.

The three hours in which we initiated and completed our final year project for 100 marks, and the same project being submitted by four of us under different titles. The project report was actually a study report by a diploma student, and the only effort we took was to get Xerox copies and printing the first page. (and yaa, I got 88 marks)

I writing poems for a friend, so he can impress his 143rd ‘true love’.

Launching a website and conceptualizing a grand function for the same, fund raising, space selling, hosting, event management, and despite internal fights successfully completing the function. My first touch with management.

J whistling at a new hottie on campus only to find her taking our HMT lab later in the day.

Weekly trips to R-world to catch a movie at 20 bucks and in the process spending 50 bucks on petrol.
Think I had the most wonderful batchmates...Can't write more...Effusively sentimental.....did I say sentimental...uhhh..!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

A Tribute

Did I entertain you ? He asked. And the audience responded with a resounding yes. The prince of Caribbean – Brian Charles Lara, one of the foremost epic batsman opted to hang his boots. His arrival to the international arena was characterized by a weakening West Indies side yet he did hold the mantle all alone by his charismatic batting. This lone ranger was infallible in his day, the issues recuperating with Caribbean cricket, not withstanding. His ravenous appetite for runs and big scores could only be surpassed by him, himself. With his ability to create magical moments, his artistic blend of flurry and defence, his ravishing cover drives, his ballerina footwork, this flight footed gentle giant devastated many a bowling greats on the cricket field. We would miss those magical wave of his wand, he so naturally, so effortlessly made while sending the ball over the fence. We would miss his ‘natraja’ pose while hitting the ball in near impossible gaps over square, his penchant for fighting it out, ‘all- out’, his unprecedented backlift, his artful sweeps, his flirtatious hits behind point, his deft placement, we will miss the artist of a genre above class. In this era of macho hitters, he kept the bastion of classic cricket alive, and we are fortunate to be part of generation that got entertained by this uncrowned prince. What else could be a more fitting tribute than a poster on the field during his last match that read ‘God doesn’t retire, then why does Lara?’

Monday, April 23, 2007

What Uncle Sam Really Wants

Yesterday night I read Noam Chomsky’s ‘What Uncle Sam really wants’, and I am really repentant why I didn’t read it before. Chomsky goes in details, no words minced to highlight the duality of US bid to remain the only dominant superpower serving its elites. Build around solid historical facts, it successfully articulates the deeper intentions and actions of the world’s superpower to usher ‘equality, liberty and fraternity’ around the globe. The devilishness of US to ring in a ‘New World Order’ is hideously bizarre. The author’s statement that almost all US presidents could be blamed for political genocide pretty much sums up the essence.

Though I am comfortable with the fact, that every nation has the right to further its own selfish interest, the means to which the ‘powerful’ at the White House resorted can only be termed ‘UGLY’.

PS : If you want me to send a soft copy of the book, drop in a mail.

Back to skool

This is my second last week with Alstom. Soon, I’ll be leaving Gujarat to join one of the ‘top’ rated B schools, and would be spending two long years of my life over there. After four years in corporate life, working for two corporates, I would be back to school. Back to books. Back to lectures. Back to submissions. Back to ‘mock projects’. There aren’t any butterflies in my stomach, but I still feel a bit anxious.

Whether I would be able to sit for long lectures ?. Some miscreant said attendance is compulsory. Poor me. Whether I would be able to read academic books. ? A few years back, I was attending L&T’s highly rated Management Development Programme for about a week at Lonawala and was truly bored to the core. The ‘self made genius” that I am, found the course too slow and contents too basic. I decided to leave the lectures midway and had a trip around Lonawala in the rain.

After gaining some limited experience in various business areas ranging from Project Management, Marketing, Sales, Biz. Dev., Strategic Planning, Project Finance for various multi billion projects, whether I would be able to survive when someone starts giving fundas on ‘Segmentation’ or talks about ‘NPV / IRR’ or ‘Supply Chain Management’. I think I need to empty my cup beforehand to gain some fresh tea, to relearn something in a better and structured manner. Anyways, for the record, I prefer black tea without sugar.

Friday, April 6, 2007

Metamorphosis

A few days back, I was a part of the audience at 2 day business enclave, where the topic under scrutiny was “Metamorphosis of Indian Industry. Is it for real ?” The dignitaries present to express their views included a motley of famed personalities from academia and industry. The list included CMD of GEB, MDs of GACL, GSFC, Director of L&T, CFO of Suzlon, CEOs from Thermax, Microinks and prominent IIM professors. All the speakers from the industry gave an elaborate account of the turnaround of their respective organizations and sounded very optimistic on the coming of age of the Indian Industry in general. Bottlenecks in infrastructure, government policies /intervention (read interference) and lack of sufficient talent pool notwithstanding. Having a chance to witness the flow of such positive vibes from corporate chieftains gave me a high.

I was enchanted by the title of the subject discussion, specifically the term ”Metamorphosis”, and I tried to delve deeper into it. So, what is Metamorphosis ? The dictionary gives the definition of the subject term as “ a transformation, as by magic or sorcery” and “a marked change in appearance, condition, form and character”. The most oft quoted examples of Metamorphosis are the changing of tadpole into a frog and caterpillar into a butterfly. But, what about the transformation of a small seed into a giant tree. Is it not metamorphosis? What about a spark of heat energy turning into a fire? Is it not metamorphosis? What about the transformation of a thug called “Valiya” to Valmiki rishi? Is it not metamorphosis ?
At times, this transformation, literally and metaphorically is chaotic and sudden. Sometimes, it is silent and long drawn. But usually, it is painful. The caterpillar turns blind, loses its limbs to emerge more beautiful. Is corporate India ready to take the dare of undergoing massive radical transformation. I believe Yes. The pain and risk of exploring unchartered territories abroad, optisizing, rejuvenating business models, aiming sky high and giving an all out effort to achieve those has been the storyline of many Indian corporate over last decade. But still, I feel the party is yet to begin and there is some time for champagne to flow. Cheers to Corporate India..!

Pandora's Box

Life has always posed unexpected endeavours for me and thankfully has given me the strength to undertake them and cherish them in my stride. However, I am not sure what lies unearthed in the Pandora’s box.

Never wanted to opt for science. Preferred Wordsworth to Watt. But took science as a relatively more career savvy option.

Got into a mechanical engineering in a herd mentality.

Thought of making some engineering innovations, when secured a job at L&T. Never thought, life had plans for taking me into marketing.

Never thought I would leave L&T

Never thought I would compromise on ethics, and finally toss them out for a spin.

Never thought I would make some life lasting special friends in Baroda especially after putting 18 hours in office daily.

Never thought I would have to leave them so soon, and the very thought of leaving them would turn me into tears.

I wonder what the future holds,
How successful I would be,
Whether I’ll live some other life,
Or a life where I’ll be free.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Life is a Puzzle

Life is a puzzle….said so R with an ‘all knowing’, yet sadistic photographic ‘grin’. It is indeed, many would not dare to disagree. The moment we feel we have solved it, the puzzle rejuvenates like a phoenix in least expected form, and at worst suited time, to make you go through the grind of solving it again. Barring some enlightened souls such as Buddha, Vivekananda and some contemporary ‘babas’, we all have been wondering on the trick to come up with a solution to the dilemmas it has been posing to us.

Coming back to R. This highly energized, highly enervated individual has been through thick and thin of relationships with ...hmm...three thousand seven hundred eighty five females on last count. (okie..its exaggeration, but got the feel naa..) And now, he wonders whether he wants to be a member of the institution, which run-of-the-mill people like me call marriage. His programming expertise is of little help to him to draft a software for this problem. Aware of his basic instincts of being on a prowl for anything remotely female, he is not sure whether he would be able to curb his ‘hunting’ tendencies post marriage. His chances of not displaying flirtatious inclinations for three hours in a row are as low as Munaf Patel hitting a double century against Australia and Mandira Bedi talking sense on cricket….oopps...is she gonna be there in this WC? Yaa…world cup fever has caught me. My dear friend R, being a good guy (meri sangat ka assar hai), he has amazingly (or rather…he amazingly has) staunch views about fidelity (or infidelity). Fidelity and R…wow, that is as synonymous as Bush and World Peace. To cut a long story short, my dear R prefers to stay single rather than ruin someone’s life. Magar kambhakt life…yeh parents hai, ki maante nahi. Their “aakhiri khwaish” of playing with their ‘pota- potis’ is to be fulfilled. Hey, oldies…can’t you be a bit innovative in your wishes…! Apne yaar ko problem mein dal diya naa.

So, yesterday evening, R and myself had our thinking caps on to come out with a solution for his ‘puzzle’. After two plates of samosas, two packs of balaji namkeen, and one pepsi (without whisky …neat maar diya), we fail to come up with a agreeable and ‘workable’ solution. But then suddenly the creative genius in me ‘rose’ to the occasion and I suggested him to find out a girl who has had relationships with four thousand three hundred ninety six guys earlier, and marry that ‘Casanovi’.(that’s feminine for ‘Casanova’)

“What…u &%^%#% fu&^ idiot...r you crazy…we are discussing about my marriage…not one more ding-dong affair ?”…Okie…idea dropped. Puzzle unsolved. (Meanwhile, my mind runs wild thinking of the matrimonial adv. for finding that ‘Casanovi’)

Poor R, my deepest sympathies to him and I sincerely wish that he soon finds out a ‘workable’ solution agreeable to him and his parents. Well, I again quote one of my earlier lines. “A man wants to be a woman’s first love and a woman wants to be a man’s last passion”

PS : Any solutions welcomed. Giver of the selected solution will get two days and three nights free stay ‘ all expenses included’ at GIDC –Phase IV, Vatwa, Ahmedabad.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Missed

I have been shuttling between Mumbai and Baroda-A ‘bad a lot since last few months with such a frequency that even the flight attendants get worried, if I do not show for more than a week in the morning flight. And three flights in the last week made them really wonder, why this moron does “up-down” between Mumbai and Baroda. So, an over-anxious flight attendant got the courage of striking a conversation with me.

FA – Good Morning. Hope you had a nice day yesterday in Mumbai
Me ( with indifference)- yaa..Thanks
FA – What do u do ?You travel a lot
Me - But, still its much less than you.
Still the anxiety had not withered away. Her expectant eyes, forced me to come out with an answer.
FA – (pleading for an answer..bol bhi de)
Me – Smuggling
FA – (with a plastic smile)….What…naah! you must be joking. You don’t look like that.

Oops….! I never knew she had attention on my looks. Nahi to hum bhi ekdum jhakaas taiyar hokar jaate. Missed the train in flight. Anyways, we normally act rude and quite indifferent to flight attendants, but I can emphatize with them for having to put up with demanding morons like me, and that too with a smile. Their job indeed is more tough than mine..

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Why are you living ?

The last few weeks have been really nice on my physical health. Being forced to stay in Baroda with less touring around, enables me more time with myself. But not having anything on hands except bunch of magazines around, and the sagas of ruining social fabric in TOI and garlanding business successes in BS, my chaotic mind takes off to unstable territories, and poses questions difficult to comprehend, more difficult to answer. Dimaag hai (?) ki manta nahi…

So, yesterday my enigmatic mind posed me a question: “Why are you living?” I keep on trying out excuses to appease myself, but I know that I am nowhere close to find out an answer, good enough to maintain my self esteem. My entry to the earth was beyond my reasonable control, but I utterly fail to find a reason strong enough to continue my presence. No… I am far from any suicidal instincts (Suicide is a punishable offence under IPC…waah…that’s a wonderful law). But after leading a bizarre existence trotting this land for 25 years, it shook me inside out to dwell on this perennial question of life. Martin Luther King once said that every man should have a cause to die for. Atleast, I find something to live for. (Beyond self, family, friends and organization) I don’t remember nor care who was my great grandfather, and the same would be the affinity of my great grand children with me? I don’t aspire to leave my footprints on the sands of time to last forever, but even if my tenure on globle was to be terminated tomorrow, the earth won’t shrink a bit. My contribution (if any) to current “earth” is miniscule by any parameters. …Maybe, I live because I am living, not living because I want to “Live”.

PS : For the second time, my attempts to understand the simple Maslow’s pyramid failed yesterday. (Free) Help required.

Friday, February 2, 2007

Not my subject

Time : 7 am, 30th Jan., 06. Location : Chair Car, Indrayani Express. Destination: Pune (for an interview) Condition : Deep slumber (after 48 haphazardly hectic hours.). The panoramic view of the exotic hills not enough to make me stretch my seemingly non-ending sleeplessness. A shrill voice did disturb it a bit. But, a tired body and a fatigued mind ignored it. But the voice didn’t bulge. And now it had a shriller company. Regaining partial consciousness, I diverted my attention to the episode being played. Two little teenage girls were cajoling a person, whom I learnt was a doctor to pay a visit in the next coach to their father having acute chest pain and difficulties in breathing. The TC, from his passenger list had figured this doctor out. He was also literally prodding the doctor for his services on urgent basis. The doctors blunt reply in an indifferent tone that he is just a physician and this is not his “subject” shocked me out my comfortable chair. I joined the girls and many other co-passengers in requesting the doctor for providing his attention to the case at hand, but to no avail. He continued his gaze outside the comfortable AC coach window and advised the now nearly weeping girls to get down at Pune ( which was over 1 hr) and find some doctor there. Courtesy, some other gentleman who contacted his family doctor and could arrange an ambulance at the next station, the “subject” got down at the next station. I do not know what happened to him. I do not guess whether the doctor could have alleviated the pain of that man. But the inhumane tone and behaviour from him was certainly unwarranted. Maybe, he belonged to that breed of doctors such as Dr. Asthana of Munnabhai MBBS fame, who do not love their patients. I shared this over here, as this was one of the rarest moment in my life, wherein inspite of deepest desire to help someone out in his moment of crisis, I was utterly helpless. Shame on you, Doc. Shame on you.

I think Railways should consider having a doctor -on – call arrangement at its stations. Its over three days since the incident, but I am not able to get the imprints of the episode just fade away. Anyways on a lighter note, “Why is a doctor’s work called practice ?”

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Back to Travel

I had three days off on 26th, 27th and 28th after 3 days of constant hectic touring at not so good places in Gujarat. And the lazy lump, that I am, wasted three days watching the idiot box, moving around with friends and boozing. Hmmm...not a waste really....Anyways, I start tomorrow for a more hectic week. Have seven cities in the next five days in my agenda. Start from Baroda tomorrow morning. And have to "manage" attending a friend's wedding in Porbandar during weekend. ( Hey, R...I m not commiting..I will try to be there). Its over three and half years, since a bunch of extra "ordinary" gentleman passed out of engineering college with me. And a hell lot of them are tying the knot. Its great news for me, as now I can have "Ghar ka khana" in most of the cities nearby. Maybe I should also get "settled". Maybe not...maybe....maybe not...Hey, I m just 25, can still easily afford to procrastinate my wedlock ( why does it rhyme with deadlock ?) for some time..
Also, I wonder sometimes, whether I enjoy travelling or staying in the same place....well...as long as I can have some interesting experiences, some nice conversations, some bitter quarrels to keep my thinking hat charged, and get paid handsomely for each day of travel, who cares ?
I know this post is crap and as bullshit as it can get, but getting crappy is not new for me...and for the "bullshit"...hmm....Just Flush it...

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Left and Right

It is said that our brain consists of two parts. The left and the right. Left brain oriented people are considered to be logically configured, whereas the right brainers are artistically inclined. A few days back I was discussing “Singur” with a colleague in Kolkata, who was all in praise for the ruling party and its policies. He also happens to be a “grass root” worker of the party ( I am yet to understand the analogy of “grass root”; a tree root would be more reliable, I guess). During the conversation, he made a rather innocuous remark. “We, leftists are Left brain oriented. We think logically and have a more judicious view”. I agreed spontaneously. After all, how can a Left-ist be “right” minded ?”

The concept of socialism (which inspires to further attain the idealist state of Communism) tends to achieve it via many facets of “disruptional” change to current scenario through its policies of perceived “equality”. However, for the sake of making a note, the principal argument which led to uncovering of Marx ideology is the concept of workers, labourers, peasants being always in a position diagonally opposed to that of the capitalist. The assumption that a capitalist always tends to exploit the working class, which did hold true to a greater extent then led to widespread acceptance of this disruptive Marx ideology. More than a century later, there is utterly no need to emphasize that things have changed substantially, however “lefts” are still left. Anyways, as some wise man once said, if everybody is “right”, then there would be nothing “left”.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Men & Women

  • A man wants himself to be woman’s first love. A woman wants herself to be man’s last passion.
  • A girl wants many things from a guy. A guy wants just one thing from many girls.
  • To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
  • Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Women are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone
Extracts from multiple sources

Long Live Corruption

In a recent article in Biz Std. (13th Jan., ’07, Column - Al Fresco), I read about a survey on corruption. It estimates that a total of 21,068 crore is paid as bribe yearly in India. What ….? Just 21,068 crore. That’s just about 210 bugs per head. This figure I feel is grossly underestimated. For purpose of clarity, I personally classify the bribes as Personal bribes and Corporate Bribes, with the latter being a major contributor to the overall corruption. However, thanks to ingenuous financial acumen of Indians (self can be contacted personally for such ideas !!!), the bribes paid by Corporate India rarely make it to the news. As someone, who has been a part of the infrastructure sector for nearly 4 years now, I can say with utmost conviction, that the figures quoted in the survey are just the tip of an iceberg. As the chain extends from the janitor to the top-notch chairperson, it has become an “official” way of life, a custom to be religiously followed for getting things done, a “jugad” that is necessary to carry on and sustain self in the business. For the ideal (idle) minded, who dismissed the movie “ Corporate” as “just a film”, I can assure you, the “real”world is a lot more murkier than presented on the reel. However, most of us associate bribes and corruption with Government organizations. I do not deny the fact, however, this incurable disease has recently made its way even into private sector, although on a lesser scale. The “Police” services ? topped the charts in the survey as most corrupt, I think, probably because the common man has far less dealings with the Defence sector, dealing with whom, at times makes one think of Police as “very reasonable”. India’s rank as the third most corrupt country on the globe (was it HDI survey ?), I believe, has inspired many babus and netas to fight hard for the attaining the pole position.

Corruption, has become so ingrained in our customs that its high time, we legalize it. The Railways department through its “Tatkal reservations” and the passport offices through their “Urgent Passport” have already taken the lead in doing so. The additional money, which one required to pay to avail the benefit of getting things quickly, is now legalized, and money goes to Governments coffers for other (mis)use. The only seemingly benefit in such schemes is the elimination of “black money” in the process. The scheme introduced by PC and his finance ministry few years back for converting your black money to white, just by declaring it and paying 1/3rd of the amount, aimed at just the same. Did you say “ What about ethics…..hmmmm ..Damn it !!!” Lets legalize our bribe process across all sectors. How about, 1 Lac for a Class I govt. job, 2 lakh for selling adulterated foodstuff, 10 % for financial frauds, 25 % for theft, 3 lakhs for rape and 5 lakhs for murder. Then we shall truly become a modern and civilized society. Also, the burden on judiciary will reduce, sunny paji won’t shout “Tarikh pe Tarikh”, and we shall enter an utopian era. Long Live India…Long live corruption !

Monday, January 15, 2007

Poem

One more of my favorite poems


If I could save time in a bottle
the first thing that I'd like to do
is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
just to spend them with you
if I could make days last forever
if words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
again I would spend them with you
if I had a box just for wishes
and dreams that had never come true
the box would be empty except for the
memories of how they were answered by you
but there never seems
to be enough time to do the
things you want once you find them
I've looked around enough to know that
you're the one I want to go through time with
I hid you for a long time
the way a branch hides its
slowly ripening fruit among leaves,
and like a flower crystal of ice
on a winter window
you open in my mind.
In my heart I keep
the sparkle of your eyes
the tender warmth of your smile
the small tilt of your head
and your little body
and I dream,
dream of holding you close
caring for you, protecting you
and loving you always.
When I think of love ...
I think of roses and red hearts ...
quiet walks ...
and very soft, tranquil music ...
I envision an eagle taking flight on a crisp fall morn ...
the first snowflake in the winter ...
and the sound of the first robin in the spring ...
I envision a glorious sunrise ...
a spectacular rainbow ...
and stars brightly shining on a summer night ...
But most of all, I envision you ...
your eyes radiating warmth, joy and vibrance ...
and the tender feelings in my heart
from your friendly smile.

20 Golden Rules for Workplace

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Picasso

My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope."
Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. - Pablo Picasso.

Join Us

A recruitment Ad. for Indian army may go like this " Join us. Travel to new places. Meet Interesting People."
For the US marines corps. it goes like this " Join us. Travel to new places. Meet interesting people. AND KILL THEM ".
No other country has had more blood stains of innocent denizens on its hands than US, that too fighting miles away from its shore.

To my software friends

Few days back, somebody who had read my profile on Orkut, specifically " I am in good in networking" called me up ( I have deleted my contact no. since) to inquire about the scope of "Networking" in Gujarat....Poor guy....he was an software engineer, and he mistook a mere normal mortal like me to possess some great talent, accessible to only those elite band of Homo Sapiens who term themseleves as "software engineers".
Exceptions apart, I have come across hordes of S/W guys (unfortunately ...not girls !), who couldn't find anything else to describe about themselves, except that they are Software engineers... ( Is it a status symbol ? I am ill informed then). But I utterly fail to understand the significance of subjects one studies during his / her graduation to one's persona, that being a software engineer is used as the punch line for identification.
Well, the whole lot of ITES and its cousins contribute a meagre 3.5 % of India's GDP ( RIL alone contributes about 2.8 %....oops..I go the stats. way again). The best compliment that I can ascribe to them is that of metaphorical "frog in the well".....My dear software friends....Though the significance and importance of IT is beyond doubt, however a lot was achieved in this world even before the first computer was made.

Saturday, January 13, 2007

Weather

Well, the weather in Gujarat was quite lukewarm for a better part of December. But now, its getting cold, ( by Gujarat's proportions) as mercury dips down to 10 C. Normally, the temperature normalizes by Uttaryan, but weather seems to have different plans this time...Sometimes, I feel I can easily relate to weather, as I have something in common with it. " Notwithstanding the amount of criticism, we have our own way".

GDP

India Inc. is poised to register a record of four consecutive years of 8+ percent of GDP growth. Newslines in pink newspapers and lot of magazines have highlighted this point now and then. However, there are too many misconceptions about Gross Domestic Product (GDP) . Here , I try to share some GDP gyan. hey...is this my blog or some educational site ?...hmmmm... watever....!!!here i start...
GDP is the ‘market value’ of all the goods, services, agricultural products generated by a region or country in a specified period. The value of goods+services+agri is derived by the final purchase prices by the end consumer. (not the wholesale prices). Goods+services+agri include farm and farm products, durables, non-durables, oil, electricity, labour prices, metals, services etc. and any item that has a market value.The GDP variation may be due to the variations in ‘market value’ of goods+services even when the quantity of products do not vary.
Nominal GDP: It is the money value of goods+services produced in a region/country based on the prices of a particular period. (inflated prices)
Real GDP: It is the money value of goods+services produced in a region/country based on the prices of a particular base period. (non inflated prices)
Note -
1. GDP accounting includes the net of imports and exports. The economic indicator which is ‘native’ to the country’s gross product which, does not include imports and exports is GNP.- Gross National Product.
2. Do not use GDPs of different countries for comparison. The prices of same goods+services are different in different countries. In which case, use the GDP calculated based on Purchase Parity Prices or based on Exchange Rates.
3. GDP sometimes is misleading and is not the ‘complete’ economic indicator as it does not include economic value addition from black-money, voluntary or charity work of economic value, goods+services exchanged in barter and not accounted in money terms. India’s GDP is quite underestimated relative to western economies, because of the amount of voluntary work is significantly higher. Your mom / wife cooking food for you does not attribute to rise in GDP in India, but similar food purchased at an restaurant contributes.
4. India’s GDP is 692 Billion $ on nominal basis and 3200+ billion $ on PPP basis.
Want a Chapter on Inflation.....its even more boring.....nope...i won;t write..

About Me

Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Just another management graduate