I have heard my professors time and again emphasizing on the diversity of our batch. As I browse through some recent management journals ( haan bhai haan…apun XLRI mein padhte badhte bhi hai), I feel that every Tom, Dick and Harry has suddenly been blessed by the ‘Atma Gyaan’ of the importance and essentiality of diversity in today’s modern day management. Watching the starcasts of some recent bollywood flicks, I am sure that even Ramu, Dhawan and Barjadtya have been reading some management books of late rather than ‘filmy’ scripts. Hmmm…hmm……Oops… I just forgot the point why I started writing this post at one in the night, inspite of having a few thousand tones of management books to read. Yeh filmi log bhi naa, sab kuch bhula dete hai…Anyways, I will carry on with some other bullshit.
I have been indeed wondering on the diversity of the orkut members since the day I opened an orkut account, due to the unparalleled diversity of the ‘recent visitors’ on my orkut profile. The probability of me knowing atleast one of the five members displayed in the recent visitors section is as high as the probability of Australia cricket team winning a ‘good conduct’ medal multiplied by the probability of Imran kissmi ( I mean Hasmi) not kissing Mallika Sherawat in a forthcoming movie…. (Hmm…..btw, I am desperately searching for a DVD of the film ‘Murder’. If you have it, just send me across …plzzzzzz). Some novel profiles I discovered on my recent visitors list in the past three days are indeed astounding. I am really shocked as to why a cool Latino babe from Brazil would have visited my profile. I get dumbfounded when an octogenarian from Kyrgyzstan peeps out on my recent visitors list. A Polish glassmaker, a paleontologist from Norway and an Israeli farmer ( I know what farming you do, my dear ‘grassy’ pal). A smart Tamilian girl ‘Sunitha’ however is welcome, though I would have preferred her name to be ‘Sunita’. But 'Ranjitha' is definitely not welcome. With her picture missing on the orkut profile, the best way in which I could imagine her is as a twin sister of Rajnikanth, and that too with thick moustaches.
But most of all, I was shocked at the frequency of a particular ‘type of ‘abnormal’ males interested in undergoing some intimate experiences with fellow males. I have absolutely no idea about their happiness quotient, but they are labeled by the society in general as ‘gay’. Finding such creatures with an alarming regularity on my profile made me really wonder whether traits of such ‘man’ly inclination is really abnormal or am I under the false perception of considering myself ‘normal’ with my sexual inclinations towards the fairer sex. A intelligent ‘male’ friend ( no ideas please !) solved the mystery by pointing towards a one liner on my profile, which read ‘ I still love Sachin Tendulkar, I am not gay’. Probably this ‘swingers’ would have made an ineffective use of the Orkut search option by typing ‘ gay’ in the search criteria, and would have been mislead to my profile. I sincerely offer my deepest apologies for putting such lines on my profile, which lead to waste of their highly precious time.
Yet to make my point clear, let me emphatically announce for once and for all that I am not by any farthest stretch of imagination anywhere close to being gay. My physical interests in ‘male’ specimens of Homo Sapiens Sapiens are as high as Rakhi Sawant’s neckline ( ooyee…. you dirty mind, concentrate on reading the post) and the salary of an Indian hockey player. Let me reiterate, I am just happy, not gay. I don’t have any affiliations whatsoever with GALAXY group at XL, and I am ‘cock’sure of it. The chances of my sexual inclinations towards a male counterpart are as bright as an underpaid pornstar in a Thamilian ( I mean Tamilian) porn flick. I don’t have any crush ‘even’ on Shahid Kapoor. I am in strong opposition to gender equality. I prefer a specimen of female human spieces to a male specimen on any day, and even any night. (In fact, more so in the night). Yesterday, I also removed that song from Raj Kapoor’s (are he is the father of Shahid Kapoor’s to be father-in-law) film from my play list. The song went something like this ‘ Aadmi huun, aadmi se pyaar karta huun’. After seeing the intermingling among the Indian cricket team on the ground, when it won the 20-20 world cup, makes me think that contacting them would be more fruitful for the desperate ‘gays’ ( I mean guys) visiting my profile.
PS : All said and done, I still love Sachin Tendulkar.
I have been indeed wondering on the diversity of the orkut members since the day I opened an orkut account, due to the unparalleled diversity of the ‘recent visitors’ on my orkut profile. The probability of me knowing atleast one of the five members displayed in the recent visitors section is as high as the probability of Australia cricket team winning a ‘good conduct’ medal multiplied by the probability of Imran kissmi ( I mean Hasmi) not kissing Mallika Sherawat in a forthcoming movie…. (Hmm…..btw, I am desperately searching for a DVD of the film ‘Murder’. If you have it, just send me across …plzzzzzz). Some novel profiles I discovered on my recent visitors list in the past three days are indeed astounding. I am really shocked as to why a cool Latino babe from Brazil would have visited my profile. I get dumbfounded when an octogenarian from Kyrgyzstan peeps out on my recent visitors list. A Polish glassmaker, a paleontologist from Norway and an Israeli farmer ( I know what farming you do, my dear ‘grassy’ pal). A smart Tamilian girl ‘Sunitha’ however is welcome, though I would have preferred her name to be ‘Sunita’. But 'Ranjitha' is definitely not welcome. With her picture missing on the orkut profile, the best way in which I could imagine her is as a twin sister of Rajnikanth, and that too with thick moustaches.
But most of all, I was shocked at the frequency of a particular ‘type of ‘abnormal’ males interested in undergoing some intimate experiences with fellow males. I have absolutely no idea about their happiness quotient, but they are labeled by the society in general as ‘gay’. Finding such creatures with an alarming regularity on my profile made me really wonder whether traits of such ‘man’ly inclination is really abnormal or am I under the false perception of considering myself ‘normal’ with my sexual inclinations towards the fairer sex. A intelligent ‘male’ friend ( no ideas please !) solved the mystery by pointing towards a one liner on my profile, which read ‘ I still love Sachin Tendulkar, I am not gay’. Probably this ‘swingers’ would have made an ineffective use of the Orkut search option by typing ‘ gay’ in the search criteria, and would have been mislead to my profile. I sincerely offer my deepest apologies for putting such lines on my profile, which lead to waste of their highly precious time.
Yet to make my point clear, let me emphatically announce for once and for all that I am not by any farthest stretch of imagination anywhere close to being gay. My physical interests in ‘male’ specimens of Homo Sapiens Sapiens are as high as Rakhi Sawant’s neckline ( ooyee…. you dirty mind, concentrate on reading the post) and the salary of an Indian hockey player. Let me reiterate, I am just happy, not gay. I don’t have any affiliations whatsoever with GALAXY group at XL, and I am ‘cock’sure of it. The chances of my sexual inclinations towards a male counterpart are as bright as an underpaid pornstar in a Thamilian ( I mean Tamilian) porn flick. I don’t have any crush ‘even’ on Shahid Kapoor. I am in strong opposition to gender equality. I prefer a specimen of female human spieces to a male specimen on any day, and even any night. (In fact, more so in the night). Yesterday, I also removed that song from Raj Kapoor’s (are he is the father of Shahid Kapoor’s to be father-in-law) film from my play list. The song went something like this ‘ Aadmi huun, aadmi se pyaar karta huun’. After seeing the intermingling among the Indian cricket team on the ground, when it won the 20-20 world cup, makes me think that contacting them would be more fruitful for the desperate ‘gays’ ( I mean guys) visiting my profile.
PS : All said and done, I still love Sachin Tendulkar.
1 comment:
Hey Utpal...just came across your blog post...apart from being abhorrently homophobic, vaguely anti south indian and virulently sexist...it is also badly written...first things first...you have to get it out of your mind that being gay is abnormal...research has proved that being gay is as normal as being dark...or probably as normal as having a surname like soni..while i sympathise with you for your angst at not being able to respond to people, who check your orkut profile out (advice: take it as a compliment and move on...)it is also important that you be slightly more tolerant of other people...and for gay men being depserate the same can be said about the girls checking your profile out (happy??) and even about you (you seem more desperate than anyone else to me)...i am not sure if you have passed out but believe me and learn something...in todays corporate world (you can take my word for it...i am an xler too :D)..what you have written is not acceptable..and you can actually get sacked for writing such stuff...especially since you have ur name and profile displayed so proudly,it makes it very easy for HR folks like me to remember :) so buddy learn to accept differences and chill out....btw abt tamilian women...some of the hotest women who have passed out from xl have been tamilians...its pity that they will certainly not be attracted to you...esp if you write like this....
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