My Table

Today, I have a fresh look over my demented table which hosts scores of correspondances I have made over the past six months and have relegated them to my table owing to their relative sequential insignificance over those which I got filed (by someone else, ofcourse) Yeah…! My table adorns a look as clean as an unowned public toilet across the railway station, except for the fragrance. My table hosts paper forests more dense than that of Amazon, and I am sure Saddam would have been better off hiding admist these unfathomable blocks of papyrus products than some pigeonhole in downtown Iraq. Hey Osama….I am giving ideas.! I make a third attempt in vain to unravel two pages of some sordid three month old correspondances and my probability of finding it out this time is as good as finding strands of silky hair on Anupam Kher’s head. After 30 minutes of a ransack operation, I give up the hope. But as “jo hota hai..acche ke liye…” funda, I have uncovered fossil of my Reynolds pen lid, a strap of stapler pins, a rubber band, a visiting card of an important contact, my salary slips, an unread issue of power line magazine, ear plugs and a box of condoms. Okie…that condom thing is a joke, but I have had tangible returns for my efforts. Well, this is not the first instance, wherein I have lost some important “bunch” of documents. It happens to me with alarming regularity, with frequency more than that of a laughter roar by Siddhu on one more pathetic joke, or Imran Hashmi kissing a cool clad free girl around. (I am seriously thinking of a role switch with him). My work desk boasts of being the messiest (aisa word hai kya) thing in a radius of 2 kms. (Why 2 kms ? Because, my house is at 2 km from office) Maybe, the entire BMC staff can be busy for a whole “cleanliness year”, if they dare to set my room straight. Exotic fragrances galore, as lifeless bodies of beautiful darkly coloured cockroaches and other near extinct species of insects adorn almost every second inch of space. No, I won’t go on any further describing the eternal beautification which I have done to my room. Kisiki nazaar lag jayegi to? My ex-boss once commented to me “Kutte bhi puch (tail) maar kar baith te hai”. For the unintelligible few who can’t comprehend that mundane language , it means that even dogs have a sweep with their tails before they sit”. My reaction was a look at my boss’ desk, an eye of appreciation for its cleanliness and a look at his back. Nope, I couldn’t figure out where the tail was. Unfortunately, as I have evolved a bit further from being a dog to something called Homo Sapien Sapiens ( No, I am not refuting anti-Darwinian God-made-all theory), I feel myself ill equipped to figure out an anatomical part to be used instantly on traces of such mess. So, I continue to remain in whirlwinds of such plethora of papers around me in office, desperately waiting for some sound headed, tail-bottomed gentleman ( lady will also do) to arrive and pull me out of this valley of papers, just as a bollywood macho man picks up this heroine hanging on a single hand on the rocks twenty thousand feet above the ground.

Afterthought 1 - Once Ms. Sandhya said (Hey..No Ideas please, she was my Class I teacher) that Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Probably, I am more close to Devil “ Messiness is next to devilishness”.

Afterthought 2 – I am a strong supporter of Jack Welch’s “Paperless office” concept.

Afterthought 3- To all single and "yet" looking girls out there.....Its just a joke. I am gonna help my to-be-wife in keeping house neat and clean. sacchi...