I fell asleep ..again...Some fears that had been submerged within my ultra busy schedule returned again to torment me. Some haunting memories flashed through my mind as I woke up in a state of utter disarray. I clenched the shawl as hard as I could with my hands, but felt self to weak to cling on to it. I looked around and seeing myself in the same so familiar so known room breathed a sigh of relief as my heart sank into my stomach. I just felt like that nearby tainted bottle of water whom nobody in the first look, can make out whether its full or empty. I tried to reach out for the bottle, but it was too far for me to reach. I looked up at the ceiling. No, it wasn't falling down. My dear fan, now giving me a perplexed look had a thousand questions, but I just didn't have any answer. I looked at my laptop screen and the familiar sight of a few dozen offline messages did lend the 'much required now' routinous familiarity. I skimmed through non pertinent 'sms's on my cell but all urgency seem irrelevant to me. The dark sky artfully lended a deceptive hue to camouflage the early morning hours. I tried to cry out loud, but cudn't. I closed my eyes as hard as I can, but the haunting scenes were still gushing afresh. The chilling air made a way through my now clenched fists. I craved for warmth and grasped the shawl with all my strength. I felt the cold air brushing my toes, but couldn't help. The cringing sound of the door resonated in my ears, as it fought with the cold, trying to protect me. I kicked with all my life to get up, but in vain. Again I tried to cry, but may be the tears were freezed within. I went to sleep ...again...
I am waiting to wake up.. And they say...I need to wake up soon...maybe sooner.
Its three years now...and yaa..I have woken up now..ready to fight that cold without a speck of fear head on....Let the trumpets blow.
From 'Shapeless musings' ...written by self on 20th Jan., 05
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