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It has been sometime since I had last penned my own self description. So thought to just revise it. Though I am still to alter drastically, I think I have changed over the last 3 years. So here it goes.




1. If I think, I am.

2. If you can’t understand the above sentence, pl. do not waste your time..just piss off.

3. I am not sick, I am just single.

4. I value few values, which don’t have any value in valuations.

5. I love girls, who have brain bigger than their boobs.

6. I don’t like grey. I just talk and write- black & white.

7. I spend recklessly. I earn too much.

8. I am an intellectual. I have been able to find few things more interesting than sex.

9. I am a scholar. I can’t tolerate fools. Sometimes, not even myself.

10. I hope my epitaph may read: “No regrets”. But I prefer living rather with a few regrets.

11. I am yet to find a cause to ‘Live for’.

12. I can’t get no satisfaction.

13. I scribble sometimes. Some people call it poetry.

14. My job doesn’t suck. My boss is not a jerk.

15. I don’t drive. I prefer a chauffer instead.

16. I always try my very best to help my friends.

17. I can be mad, crazy, passionate & wise at the same time.

18. I still love Sachin Tendulkar. I am not gay.

19. I enjoy watching Tom & Jerry, Popeye.

20. I strongly believe that world is too small and life is too long.  Some stories therefore never end

21. I love my friends for their eccentricities. They like me for my abnormalities.

22. I am not my best friend. Not even close. They are Kumar, Jatin, Rajan, Sunil, Raju.

23. I haven’t met any of them over the last 3 years.

24. I am a virgin.

25. Sometimes, I lie. But, I am economical with it.

26. I worship Dhirubhai Ambani. The company I admire the most is AMUL (GCMMFL)

27. I never had a role model. But Vikram Sarabhai comes close.

28. I crib. I crib a lot.

29. There isn’t a selfish bone in my body.

30. I think in English. I abuse in Hindi.

31. Before MBA, I believed most HR guys are useless. Now I think all of them are.

32. I hope no one from my company HR reads this. I hope all my HR friends from MBA read this.

33. I love art. I praise creativity.

34. I can’t appreciate Shakespeare and I can’t understand Salman Rushdie.

35. I love literary classics. I’ve started reading Indian Philosophy lately.

36. I like to believe I am good in marketing. I know I am better in Strategy.

37. I am fantastic in Indian Contracts.

38. I am pathetic in technical stuff.

39. Did I mention I am a Mechanical Engineer?

40. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid.

41. I haven’t lost a single rupee in the stock market.

42. Pizza and maggi was my staple diet. Not any more.

43. I’ve lost 15 kg. in the last 2 months.

44. My parents think I am still a kid. I dare not disagree.

45. I abhor pigs, cockroaches and software engineers.

46. I am a Gandhian. But I know karate.

47. Money matters, more money matters more. Yet I don’t run after money.

48. I ended up in the highest paying job in engineering and it was my dream job.

49. I don’t want to leave India.

50. I am OK in swimming and rifle shooting.

5I. I am a good actor.

52. I am an excellent public speaker.

53. I am not humble. Its tough to be after being so talented.

54. I cry.

55. Sometimes, I stammer. I have won more elocution competitions than my age.

56. I am an environmentalist.

57. I hate people who keep dogs more than I hate dogs.

58. I won’t fall in love again. But may be, I will rise in it.

59. I intend to adopt a girl child someday.

60. I hate shopping.

61. I smoke occasionally. But the occasions come a bit too often.

62. I don’t know how to cook. The only recipe I remember is that of ice cubes.

63. I don’t know when to eat. Or may be when not to eat.

64. I hate, hate, hate mediocrity.

65. I usually don’t pick up others fight. But when I sincerely do, I fight.

66. I am a grossly underrated schemer.

67. My first boss was the shrewdest creature I have ever met. I prefer not meeting any more.

68. I respect most women. I hardly trust any.

69. I was among the least intelligent creatures in my batch during MBA.

70. But I was lucky to land up in the highest paying job in MBA.

71. I like people who outsmart me. I hate people who do that often.

72. Sometimes, I don’t believe in God. Forget God, I sometimes can’t even find a plumber.

73. I believe in Luck. How else can I explain the success of some, whom I dislike?

74. I have a soft corner for all my juniors from school, engg. & MBA

75. I can’t stand half of my relatives. I don’t know the other half.

76. If not for the lack of alternatives, I would’ve hated democracy.

77. I can take any shit from anybody; but I always return it with high compounded interest.

78. I am too blunt at times and I hate it.

79. I would love to love somebody more than I love myself.

80. I can be dangerously sarcastic. I don’t mind being personal.

81. is my favorite number

82. I am passionate about working towards education for unprivileged children.

83. I am the bravest person I know.

84. Life has not been kind to me. But I held only myself responsible for what I am (not) today.

85. I mind my business, but I do interfere.

86. I love India and I am a fanatic.

87. I don’t have views. I have convictions.

88. I don’t lose bets.

89. I still remember all my school friends’ birthday. At times, I can’t recollect my first name.

90. I rarely keep any grudges. When I do, I plan my revenges absolutely meticulously.

91. I am yet to write my favorite poem. Till then its “Madhushala” by Bacchanji.

92. I take drinks rarely.

93. I crave for importance.

94. I hate people who shirk work. Even if it is me.

95. I don’t flirt with air hostesses. I don’t flirt with ‘non-air hostesses’ also.

96. I can’t stand banal talk and fake laughs.

97. I ain’t fun loving; nor could I appreciate people whose sole objective in life is to have fun.

98. I long for being at home. But I don’t go often even if I have time.

99. I am too kind at most times.

100.First impressions matter.

101. I don’t have two faces. “If I had, would I be wearing this one” – Lincoln.

101. I rarely get angry and can camouflage my anger.

102. I am more comfortable in formals than casuals. I hate flashy clothes.

102. I am yet to make any enemies. But I have lost many friends.

103. I am good in networking.

104. I love Bollywood flicks.

105. Juhi Chawla was my first crush. I don’t know the name of the last one.

106. I have never been consistent with my work. But I can slog like hell.

107. I am a perfectionist.

107. I don’t give up on myself easily. I am supremely confident of myself.

108. I hate people who show off their knowledge. Though sometimes, I also do so.

109. I don’t attend calls before 9 in the morning, come what may.

110. Micro - Economics is my latest crush since last 2 years. I am not very good with it though.

111. I curse myself for not being in touch with my pals from school, engineering, earlier jobs.

112. I crave for being at peace with myself. I haven’t been successful so far.

113. I like forwarded mails.

114. I used to carry 3 SIM cards, but rarely used cell phone for the last 2 years.

115. I used to be a voracious reader. Now I spend time just thinking.

116. I can find grammatical mistakes in TOI editorials. Hey TOI guys. Can’t u improve?

117. I have damn sharp memory.

118. I go to sleep, earliest by 2 am. I am a nocturnal creature.

119. I do some things, sometimes “just for the heck of it”.

120. I don’t bullshit, as much as I should.

121. I love taking other people’s cases. I enjoy it when someone tries to take mine.

122. Few friends still give me the luxury of being classified into “Homo Sapiens Sapiens”

123. I criticize harshly, I am lavish in praise only for people who I don’t care about.

124. I love watching the rainbow. I don’t like clear skies. I love imagining shapes in the clouds

125. I have never taken a ride on a merry-go-round.

126. I am not only my biggest critic, I get the honors for many others too.

127. I have drastically reduced my chatting with people online.

128. I have never been in my hometown on election day. I have never voted yet.

129. I know four languages: English, Gujarati, Hindi & the language of eyes.

130. I borrowed the “eyes funda” in the above line from somebody. I dislike plagiarism.

131. If I am, I think.