I wrote this post the night when our SIP Process got over. Somehow missed publishing it or maybe intentionally didn't publish it but the draft was saved, so publishing it now. Considering that the post is extremely extremely subtle, presume it won't hurt any sensibilities and if it does…MC .......Some stories rather do not have any endings
I have been quizzed by umpteen fellow idiots on what profession really interests me. After giving this topic due thought over countless nights over uncounted cups of coffee, innumerable pegs of nimbu pani and increasing air pollution in my vicinity by umpteen times, I have finally zeroed in on one of the most oldest profession on earth .... ( hey....no ideas please... I said ' one of the oldest & not 'THE OLDEST PROFESSION'). Not continuing further with this puzzle, let me enlighten you with the answer to this general knowledge question about the career choice of UPS. Well, I have decided to be a 'Story writer' (...bole to lekhak..waise bhi aajkal filmi stories likhne ke liye apun jaise kabil writers ki bahut zarurat hai)
So, trusting that you freaks who keep on visiting this blog have ingrained some virtuos qualities by reading my blogs and hence will not indulge in any acts of plagiarism, I present herewith a draft plot of one of my first stories. nahi. this is not one more story of dhishum, dhishum of amitabh bacchan. Nor is this melodramatic tale of manoj kumar. Nor is this a story interspersed ( kya ganda word hai ...even I took off the wrong lane) between item songs with isha copy kar shouting khallas.
This is a story of 'aam aadmi' ( haan bhai haan...i also follow indian politics). This is a story of an aam indian farmer. A marginalized creature burdened with basketsfull of troubles of the world, including a beautiful young unwed sexy sister having an affair with the mucchhad son of the local jamindar and three cute school going kids (munnu, chunnu & tunnu), a highly pativrata kadwa chauth celebrating devout wife, two young chicks ( u're a pervert.....chicks bole to murgi ke bacche. tum bhi naa !!!) and a nice healthy 'goat'. ( hey....no ideas please !!!)
So, who shall be the hero of this movie...? NO...you Bakar c**d, not Tushar kkapur. its about a farmer ..not some begging monger in a slow local mumbai train. What Govinda ?? shut up ..you f^kiggg $!#&. I m not writing an ad for colgate ( and never after they didn't took me in SIP) or bandar chaap kala daant manjan. hmmmm...hmmm...hmmmmmmm.....gotcha....apun ka Nana patekar. A typical aam aadmi
Now this hero of ours, ( arreee...bhul gaye...'nana'- abhi to decide kiya tha naa)..so, this nana used to live happily in his small village and did some 'mahenati' farming on his do bigha zameen for the whole day wearing a 15th century dhoti tucked 'somewhere' in his waist and a fully air conditioned ranjit smart banian which his great grand father had received as a wedding gift. And in the night ( c'mon..how do i know what he wears in the night) he used to enjoy with his wife and ask multiplication table of 2 and 'a for apple, b for buffalo' to munnu and chunnu. ( abhi tunnu chotta hai naa, uske khelne kudne ke din hai...isiliye usko nahi puchta...tum bhi naa). But then one fine day 'nana' while reading a khabarpatrika called 'bharat samay' came to know about some 'highly' fertile land along the banks of river 'kata-hua-kan-rekha' wherein the farmers are being bestowed with showers of rain by the rain gods.
But then the few bunch of idiots had conspired to lagaying Nana ki G**nd. So then our Nana decides that enuf was enuf. He thinks that the world is on the brink of destruction because the harmful effects of global warming are so drastic its has resulted in dirty water everywhere. Few solid rocks here and there aren’t sufficient enough to savour the ‘sip’ of life. The seasonal effects have also changed so much that even the ‘summers’ were absolutely cold. As antipathy displaced warmth, even the rain gods were selective with their showerings. Only the Bhakts who had made ‘special offerings’ were showered with plenty. The wind blew with such verocity that the destructrive futile fires got flamboyuant and the gentle candles got blown out. And in this era of darkness, Nana Patekar has decided to do the ultimate to all his dushmaans and no one shall be spared. By the way, there is something in money which makes the world go round the other way. The drought is here to say for long. The devils adorned in garlands swarmed the chapels of the heaven. And our hero Nana fails to understand whether the supreme diety was a just a meek observer or a part of the conspiracy.
P S - I am currently watching Amitabh Bacchan's " Aakhri Raasta'.
PSS - Old monk said 'BROTHERS, help thy brothers, SIP draupadi'. ( Courtesy - my fellow blogger's status msg. )
PSSS – This winter, there will be blood bath and the walls of ocean will break over. My word, your life.
PSSSS : But will nana looks good with his current french cut dadhi ? Though French cuts and indian $!#T$ is a great combination. ! I hate french cuts !!!
I have been quizzed by umpteen fellow idiots on what profession really interests me. After giving this topic due thought over countless nights over uncounted cups of coffee, innumerable pegs of nimbu pani and increasing air pollution in my vicinity by umpteen times, I have finally zeroed in on one of the most oldest profession on earth .... ( hey....no ideas please... I said ' one of the oldest & not 'THE OLDEST PROFESSION'). Not continuing further with this puzzle, let me enlighten you with the answer to this general knowledge question about the career choice of UPS. Well, I have decided to be a 'Story writer' (...bole to lekhak..waise bhi aajkal filmi stories likhne ke liye apun jaise kabil writers ki bahut zarurat hai)
So, trusting that you freaks who keep on visiting this blog have ingrained some virtuos qualities by reading my blogs and hence will not indulge in any acts of plagiarism, I present herewith a draft plot of one of my first stories. nahi. this is not one more story of dhishum, dhishum of amitabh bacchan. Nor is this melodramatic tale of manoj kumar. Nor is this a story interspersed ( kya ganda word hai ...even I took off the wrong lane) between item songs with isha copy kar shouting khallas.
This is a story of 'aam aadmi' ( haan bhai haan...i also follow indian politics). This is a story of an aam indian farmer. A marginalized creature burdened with basketsfull of troubles of the world, including a beautiful young unwed sexy sister having an affair with the mucchhad son of the local jamindar and three cute school going kids (munnu, chunnu & tunnu), a highly pativrata kadwa chauth celebrating devout wife, two young chicks ( u're a pervert.....chicks bole to murgi ke bacche. tum bhi naa !!!) and a nice healthy 'goat'. ( hey....no ideas please !!!)
So, who shall be the hero of this movie...? NO...you Bakar c**d, not Tushar kkapur. its about a farmer ..not some begging monger in a slow local mumbai train. What Govinda ?? shut up ..you f^kiggg $!#&. I m not writing an ad for colgate ( and never after they didn't took me in SIP) or bandar chaap kala daant manjan. hmmmm...hmmm...hmmmmmmm.....gotcha....apun ka Nana patekar. A typical aam aadmi
Now this hero of ours, ( arreee...bhul gaye...'nana'- abhi to decide kiya tha naa)..so, this nana used to live happily in his small village and did some 'mahenati' farming on his do bigha zameen for the whole day wearing a 15th century dhoti tucked 'somewhere' in his waist and a fully air conditioned ranjit smart banian which his great grand father had received as a wedding gift. And in the night ( c'mon..how do i know what he wears in the night) he used to enjoy with his wife and ask multiplication table of 2 and 'a for apple, b for buffalo' to munnu and chunnu. ( abhi tunnu chotta hai naa, uske khelne kudne ke din hai...isiliye usko nahi puchta...tum bhi naa). But then one fine day 'nana' while reading a khabarpatrika called 'bharat samay' came to know about some 'highly' fertile land along the banks of river 'kata-hua-kan-rekha' wherein the farmers are being bestowed with showers of rain by the rain gods.
But then the few bunch of idiots had conspired to lagaying Nana ki G**nd. So then our Nana decides that enuf was enuf. He thinks that the world is on the brink of destruction because the harmful effects of global warming are so drastic its has resulted in dirty water everywhere. Few solid rocks here and there aren’t sufficient enough to savour the ‘sip’ of life. The seasonal effects have also changed so much that even the ‘summers’ were absolutely cold. As antipathy displaced warmth, even the rain gods were selective with their showerings. Only the Bhakts who had made ‘special offerings’ were showered with plenty. The wind blew with such verocity that the destructrive futile fires got flamboyuant and the gentle candles got blown out. And in this era of darkness, Nana Patekar has decided to do the ultimate to all his dushmaans and no one shall be spared. By the way, there is something in money which makes the world go round the other way. The drought is here to say for long. The devils adorned in garlands swarmed the chapels of the heaven. And our hero Nana fails to understand whether the supreme diety was a just a meek observer or a part of the conspiracy.
P S - I am currently watching Amitabh Bacchan's " Aakhri Raasta'.
PSS - Old monk said 'BROTHERS, help thy brothers, SIP draupadi'. ( Courtesy - my fellow blogger's status msg. )
PSSS – This winter, there will be blood bath and the walls of ocean will break over. My word, your life.
PSSSS : But will nana looks good with his current french cut dadhi ? Though French cuts and indian $!#T$ is a great combination. ! I hate french cuts !!!
PSSSSS : abhi kahaani khatam nahi hui, mamu.....abhi to yeh suru hui hai
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