Shapeless musings V

A string of unsignificant events unfold now and then, but somehow I ain't able to resist the temptation of indulging in it. There aren't really many things which indeed matter to me. I ain't able to really cherish those sudden spurts of joy which emerged suddenly from nowhere. Every fleeting moment makes me evaluate myself on an uncompromising matrix. I know, I lag behind. Yet those events, no matter how insignificant they may be, unravel the core enthusiast in me. I try to look deep in my reflection in that almost stained mirror. Even in that darkness, I could feel the undercurrents shaping up in the form of unmet desires, but I continue to rejoice those moments of unfluttering attitude. That sense of urgency which had been UPS's hallmark has deserted me. That knack of turning things around every time when the going gets tough, rather tougher has been on the backfoot ever since I landed here. That will to fight, and fight hard, the ever burning fire to compete all out has seems to have gather some rust. I know that this is not at all the place to fight or compete. Even I mock the calibre of the opposition. What left unsaid, better be unsaid. But then maybe I need to prove myself, not to anyone else, but at least to me.