Munnabhai MBA @ XL

abe oo chapadganju, aise kya ullu ki tarah aankhein faad faad ke padh rahela hai..pahechana nahi kya bidu, ...apun ...munnabhai...aajkal XLRI mein MBA karne ko aayela hai..woh saaala medical college mein us buddhe ghusat asthana se apun ka jaama nahi, to mba karna ko aa gaya. ek din bada aadmi jo ban na hai ...ab tu puchega circuit kaahan hai...? are puch na...tension kay ko leta hai....jo man mein aaaya, puch dalne kaa...woh kya hua, circuit ke short circuit ko sardi ho gayela hai, to apun ne bol diya circuit ko ki tu ekdum bacche ke health ka pura care karne ka...time par dawa-daru sab dene ka. khali pili apun ka tenson nahi lene ka...apun chalta hai na akela hi XL mein..to apun akela hi XL mein MBA karne ko aa gaya. yaahan ka saala sab mastar log bahut hoshiyar hai....bahut saara padhata hai...apun bhi ekdum padhai pe dhyyaan de rahela hai...chana khaata hai, aur padhta hai....baaki sab bhaigiri ekdum bandh. magar phir bhi, kuch subjects mein apun ki ekdum lag raheli hai...

ek din apun ke OB ka professor bola. ki apun ka surprise test honewala hai. apun socha ki saala surprise se test hoga, yaa test mein surprise hoga. baad mein us prof. ne result mein surprise diya. apne life mein pahele se hi itna drama, tragedy, emotion hai ...usmein surprise kyun dalneka...? abhi OB ke prof. ne hi bola tha apun ko ' jo tum sochta hai, wohi sach hai'...bole to angrezi mein ' your perception is reality'. to phir apun itna soch ke sab saach saach jawab diya exam mein, to usne negative marks de diya....magar apun piche nahi hatnewala. bapu ne kaaha tha ki agar tumhe viswas hai ki tum sach ke saath ho, to prof. kya cheez hai, duniya ki koi taakat tumhare saamne tik nahi sakti..'perception is reality'

apun ne ECO ke prof. se puccha...jo kaam apun nahi kiyela hai, uske liye tum apun ko panishment dega kya, mamu ?. woh bola, agar tune nahi kiyela hai, to apun kya yeda ho gayela hai jo tuzko punishment dega. abhi apun ko usne itna bada, woh kya bolte hai ...haan aaaswaaasaan diya, to apun ne bhi bilkul baapu ki maafik sach bak diya. ..apun usko ekdum bindaas hokar bol dala ' ke apun ne homework nahi kiyela hai.." aur prof. ne apun ke grades ki bole to ekdum vaat laga daali....bapu, kaahan ho tum !!! lagta hai, apun ko abhi gandhigiri suru karni padegi..

apun ke MARKETING ke prof. ne kaha ki apun chocolates bechne ka project kare...chocolates ..are yeh saala, lafda ho gaya...agar charas, ganja bechna ho to, apun ka pura network ekdum jamela hai...woh..raju phirki aur fati chaadi ....apun ka j chokra log hai. duniya mein aakhe india ka market leader hai. magar yeh chocolate. apun to kabhi choclate khaya nahi..bas ek bar chinki ne diya tha bachpan mein...!!! to apun sidha bapu ko yaad kiya aur woh fatak dekar tapak gaya. bapu ko chocolate bahut pasand thi, magar bapu ki mummy bapu ko kabhi choclate khane hi nahi deti thi...ekdum nana patekar ki maafik gussa hokar bolti thi...daant sad jayega, to dentist mamu kya tera ristedar lagta hai..achanak apun ka dimaag thanka. apun ne aur bapu ne daant kharab na ho, aisa choclate bana dala..abhi bacche bhi khush, bacche ke maa bhi khush, apun bhi khush, bapu bhi khush, aur woh apne marketing ka prof. bhi fultoo khush..waise 'daant kharab na ho, aur ekdum strong ho jaaye' aisi chocolate kaise banegi aur kaise bikegi, yeh jaanna ho in cadbury aur nestle waloon ko, to apun ke kamre mein 3 peti bhijwa dena..areee ....peti bole to choclate ki peti bidu..tu kya soch rahela tha..

chalo abhi apun ke chana khana ka time ho gaya....baaki subjects aur masterlog ke baare mein phir kabhi...apne bhopu mein abhi gaana baj rahela hai ..' sabka katega..'

My Table

Today, I have a fresh look over my demented table which hosts scores of correspondances I have made over the past six months and have relegated them to my table owing to their relative sequential insignificance over those which I got filed (by someone else, ofcourse) Yeah…! My table adorns a look as clean as an unowned public toilet across the railway station, except for the fragrance. My table hosts paper forests more dense than that of Amazon, and I am sure Saddam would have been better off hiding admist these unfathomable blocks of papyrus products than some pigeonhole in downtown Iraq. Hey Osama….I am giving ideas.! I make a third attempt in vain to unravel two pages of some sordid three month old correspondances and my probability of finding it out this time is as good as finding strands of silky hair on Anupam Kher’s head. After 30 minutes of a ransack operation, I give up the hope. But as “jo hota hai..acche ke liye…” funda, I have uncovered fossil of my Reynolds pen lid, a strap of stapler pins, a rubber band, a visiting card of an important contact, my salary slips, an unread issue of power line magazine, ear plugs and a box of condoms. Okie…that condom thing is a joke, but I have had tangible returns for my efforts. Well, this is not the first instance, wherein I have lost some important “bunch” of documents. It happens to me with alarming regularity, with frequency more than that of a laughter roar by Siddhu on one more pathetic joke, or Imran Hashmi kissing a cool clad free girl around. (I am seriously thinking of a role switch with him). My work desk boasts of being the messiest (aisa word hai kya) thing in a radius of 2 kms. (Why 2 kms ? Because, my house is at 2 km from office) Maybe, the entire BMC staff can be busy for a whole “cleanliness year”, if they dare to set my room straight. Exotic fragrances galore, as lifeless bodies of beautiful darkly coloured cockroaches and other near extinct species of insects adorn almost every second inch of space. No, I won’t go on any further describing the eternal beautification which I have done to my room. Kisiki nazaar lag jayegi to? My ex-boss once commented to me “Kutte bhi puch (tail) maar kar baith te hai”. For the unintelligible few who can’t comprehend that mundane language , it means that even dogs have a sweep with their tails before they sit”. My reaction was a look at my boss’ desk, an eye of appreciation for its cleanliness and a look at his back. Nope, I couldn’t figure out where the tail was. Unfortunately, as I have evolved a bit further from being a dog to something called Homo Sapien Sapiens ( No, I am not refuting anti-Darwinian God-made-all theory), I feel myself ill equipped to figure out an anatomical part to be used instantly on traces of such mess. So, I continue to remain in whirlwinds of such plethora of papers around me in office, desperately waiting for some sound headed, tail-bottomed gentleman ( lady will also do) to arrive and pull me out of this valley of papers, just as a bollywood macho man picks up this heroine hanging on a single hand on the rocks twenty thousand feet above the ground.

Afterthought 1 - Once Ms. Sandhya said (Hey..No Ideas please, she was my Class I teacher) that Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Probably, I am more close to Devil “ Messiness is next to devilishness”.

Afterthought 2 – I am a strong supporter of Jack Welch’s “Paperless office” concept.

Afterthought 3- To all single and "yet" looking girls out there.....Its just a joke. I am gonna help my to-be-wife in keeping house neat and clean. sacchi...