RACE

'Few things never change', said so Philip to himself with an enigmatic grin on his face. As he walked restlessly in the corridors of Mumbai's airport, his indifference to the ringing cell disturbed few around. 15,000 miles Rachna, sitting at Heathrow airport with a newspaper in hand, gazing at the glass ceiling slids her hand through her hair. She wants to have coffee but feels too scared to get up. A blue liner lands in the background as Surya gets desperate to have a fag after sitting for over 2 hours at the Baroda flipping through pages of a comic. He feels the touch of sunrays on his hands.

Three people, three locations, three destinations but one aim. The Race for the ultimate begins

ek aur idea...

Global Warming has been the buzzword today. The unshakeable Mr. Bush has from God knows what corners has become suddenly concerned by the rising levels of Green house gases. A little bird tells me that a cow died due to excessive heat in his Texas ranch (and you blooooody thought that only Indian leaders ? have cows) . In the meantime, Ms. Maneka Gandhi is already busy making plans for an international agitation. C'mon I am not anti-maneka. However, lately this unchallenged 'animal' activist has come out with an environmental concern pertaining to pollution caused by burning dead bodies...(haan bhai haan, muzhe pata hai.....burning live bodies also leads to pollution). Assuming a mortality rate of 1 %, burning approx. 1 crore dead bodies, each requiring about 500 kg . of wood will result in consumption of nearly 5 million tonnnes of wood, and equivalent amount of electricity consumption in modern day crematoriums per year. Alternative means for the same if implemented would go a long way in reducing our emissions. But easier said than done. It looks really too difficult for India, the nation of controversies to make such a drastic shift, especially with religious sentiments running on all time high. Also, alternative means for the same need critical evaluation. Even if feasible alternative means for cremating dead bodies are found, lack of political will and social consensus would always be the major hindrances. I think a way out is to dispose off dead bodies in the open for feeding chils, kuttas and kauvas(bole to crows, u dumbo..hindi nahi aati kya ? ). After all, they are also living beings. Its our moral responsibility to take care of their dietary requirements. I know, none of you, except Ms. Maneka Gandhi will approve of this outstanding idea of mine. hmm..seems one more brilliant idea of mine is gonna go unnoticed. *f&$^- u crappy idiots..!!

PS : A recent research proved severe heart burns do not contribute to pollution. Carry on girls.

PSS: Another geek after his untiring labourious efforts finally succeeded in explaining me the reason for a ceiling friend having three fins(read previous post).

PSSS: From where and why does noise come when one tears paper ? Any gyani ppl. around ?

PSSSS : Click on the ads below..Support this blog

shapeless musings

Its nearly 2 am in the morning. Having just retired to bed couple of minutes prior, my fatigued body took to hibernation in a split second. But a jubiliant caravan disturbed it. Hoping for the caravan to pass away, I made my best attempt to resign self to slumber. But the adamant caravan had taken a break nearby. ' raahi judte gaaye, kaarvaan badhta gaaya'. Its now about 4 am. .But having observed the intrinsic liking of the caravan for the nearby place, I get a feeling that even a thought of sleep under the circumstance would be at best, very optimistc. I try my hand at completing an old poem, but make a big mess of it. Yaa....even bigger mess than what I made of this post ! Meanwhile, bright, enthusiatic, cheerful guys in their tryst with the destiny of love mingled with beautiful girls, playing 'kiddin'' games, holding hands and holding ^#$# (abe mamu, mazaak kar rahela hai). The merrymaking is far from over. Subtle play of guitar accompanied by fresh young voices recuperates continously. Man, there is love in the air!!!! Old jokes shared and laughed at, girlie giggling continues, flirtatious tendencies displayed at best, and......Hey , hold on ! A little lonely star is soon soon 'gonna' get relegated under the clouds. Some 'clouds' are bent on diminishing the little star's shine. A puff of smoke emanicipates from a distant cig. A shrill cry of cuckoo goes unheard. I can't see that little star right now. The cuckoo wants to make its presence felt, but poor little creature. Who would like to even see such an ugly little bird, no matter how well it sings. Suddenly a drifting cloud makes a way for the little star. The star just seems so near. I think that there is a huge storm concealed in the tears which are now almost instoppable from the star's eye. And now, I am waiting for the sun to rise. But hey...!!! Somehow, i feel the phoenix is rising too....

PS : If you can't 'understand' the above post, better not comment. and if you can, please explain me too.....even, I can't understand 'this'..!!!!

To my dear fan

I sit on my bed with almost a dozens of books and thousands of other artifacts. I give up my on my writing a decent article for the upcoming issue of a infra. biz. magazine. A nearby wall lizard watches me in attention as I flip disdainfully through the pages of one of my chronically erroneous articles. The humidity in this part of the country making me realize that the human body consists of 70 % of water..(C'mon..Though many disagree, I am a human too). I have a sadistic look at my fan, which nearly smirks at me as I battle like a little David against the mighty Goliathic heat. Meanwhile, I wonder why this fan has three fins and what the fins may be talking within themselves about me. It has watched me in all my emotions, crying at times, cribbing at times, laughing over some old joke. It has watched me as I undertake my journey down the memory lane, as I bathe in sunlight, watch the crisp flight of the eagle on a bright morning. It has watched me dreaming about that wonderful future that lies ahead, as I gaze at the half lit moon making its way among dimming stars. It has watched me as I fill myself with the cool breeze and hope it goes as far as I would wish it should. It has watched me as I exchange smiles with the sunflowers adorning the lawn ahead. It has been there when I do just close my eyes, hoping to find someone when I open it. It has seen those tears, those laughs which no one has ever and never will. It has been a witness of the constant surges of emotions, those spurts of energy which make me the unparalleled at times, those fleeting moments where I become just a spectator to my life which keeps heading on a freeway and destined for a sudden end.

'Dear fan. I never thought I would say this. But, I've never cared for you, never thought of you, and I'll move on one day leaving you. I have been turning you on and off, whenever I feel like. SORRY..! I wish you read this someday. Anyways, words are poor conveyors, the heart knows itself.

yeh kya ho raha hai...

People have never been so insane. Believe the world is moving the other way round. Mr. Bush has suddenly become worried about global warming. The 64 year ' old' man of the millenium is making love in films with cutie pies and girls. Chief Justice in Pakistan has been talking of ethics and responsibility. The man who ushered liberalization in India as a finance minister has got 'too' socially responsibile and has been presenting his views on inclusive growth. The main ruling party couldn't decide on the next president. A liberal leader becomes the premier of France, the tradiational socialist bastion of Europe. Our Hon'ble railway minister is busy taking business classes. ( Hope XLRI doesn't call him to share his gyan in his home state). The highly conservative Tata Group goes on a idiotic, absolutely illogical ( anything that can't be explained by logic is strategic). acquistion spree. The king of good times copulates with the common man. The no. of farmers committing suicide is just a statistic for the Hon'ble Agricultural minister...Bravo Minister... some wise man correctly said ' A single death is a tragedy, a million death a statistic. And finally, I am attending more than half the lectures at XL....sob....sob...

Dhakka maro dhaaka.....

Well, few days back some people in Bihar had the most dramatic experience of their life, while travelling in a train. The train staff asked them to push the train for a while. After being pushed for nearly half an hour by a 1000 odd people, the train did move twelve feet. The overhead traction lines in Eastern railway aren't continous. Neither they need to be. The train normally runs a short distance due to its momentum without the traction. But exceptions to scientific laws are becoming too frequent nowadays. The train stopped 12 feet short of the next overhead line.

I am huming that Govinda 's song 'This happens only in India'....and you thought, its only the superman who pushes train...uhh...!

PS: Traction or no traction, the trains will always move in Railways ministers state.

First Impressions - Jamshedpur

After 38 most boring hours of my life, I finally landed by Howrah Express in India's first planned township, Jamshedpur, named after the legendary visionary Jamsedji Tata, the centre figure of India's biggest business house. A single word which encapsulates my experiences with Jamshedpur is change. The weather changes more frequently than Dhoni changes his gloves and probably for the same reason - humidity......gosh..! u picked up on the jharkhand connection...wah wah ..! Even the rates of every commodity from needle to an almirah are as flexible as Indian batting. Surprises everywhere. The population here is Bongopolitan, with dadas contributing ..oops, consisting of 40 % of the population. By the way, I find 'dadis' with their big big big eyes and tonnes of lipstick fascinating. With the remaining 60 % (abhi tak dadi par hi atke ho kya....!)forming a perfect sample for the 'rest of india' population, (sample, population...wat am i saying...still the hangover of the mahaboring statistics class), the rest of the town is as demographically diverse as the starcast of L.O.C ( haven't seen that movie...lucky you). The markets here have a million shops. I believe the no. of shops outnumbers the population. The gardens here are as beautiful as they can be. Well maintained numbered roads ( reminds me of Gandhinagar, Chandigarh) with plantations running parallel presents a nice view. The hills in the background add to the scenic beauty of the place. The smoke from the chimney of Tata Steel plant at times tends to disturb this otherwise serene place. Seems, I am going to miss the hustle and bustle of Ahmedabad....more on jams'r later....ciao

Golden Rules - II

As I take a career break after spending four years in job, I present here a concise list of my Golden Rules for a sureshot rise in the corporate world, many of which I learned the hard way.

1. Diplomacy always pays.
2. At times, bluntness pays better.
3. Commit honestly. Have courage to back out from commitments, if required.
4. Wasting time isn't a waste always. Even if that means discussing economic policies of Banana Rep. with your boss.
5. Everybody can't be equally talented in all aspects. Let the relevant person take leadership in his area of talent.
6. Appreciate efforts, no matter what the result.
7. Life isn't fair. The best person doesn't always win. Learn to live with it.
8. Take breaks whenever you feel like. Don't wait for the workload to get less. The world isn't going to stop for you to get off.
9. Don't bury things. Admit mistakes tactfully.
10. Money matters.
11. Having a contigency job on hand is always better.
12. Be patient. There are many more people who put up with more crap than you do .
13. Value other people's time.
14. Wear a smile.
15. Bypassing your boss is a high risk - high return strategy. Not for the amateurs.
16. Carry your work home, not the pressure.
17. Don't chase fads.
18. You don't work for the betterment of the organization. You work so that your boss looks best.
19. Having only one godfather in a company can be brutal. Instead have none.
20. Nothing is so important or so urgent to make you tense.
21. Office parties/ picnics are never casual.
22. Two people can keep a secret, if one is dead.
23. Fairer sex is not always preferred.
24. To rise high, 'Smartness may be tolerated. Shrewdness would be demanded.'
25. There are shortcuts to success.
26. You won't stick to all of your today's perceptions tomorrow. Respect people who differ.
27. Prejudices exist. Biases are inevitable.
28. You ought to be good at networking.
29. If not, make close friends with the one who has the biggest network within as well as outside the company.
30. If you keep on doing things you do best, you restrict your chances to improve.
31. Try to get into a comfort zone as soon as possible. Never stay in a comfort zone for long.
32. Hardworking, intelligent, asslicker is as good as it gets.
33. Professional hazards exist everywhere. Don't whine.
34. Its better to be true than humble at times.
35. Take care of your health. You ought to live to reach at the top.
36. Back your men; sun, wind or snow.
37. And the last two things. a) Never share everything you know. b).....

I am hot

I am hot. I am hotter...No, its not metaphor silly...I was literally hot and hotter than the hot weather in A'bad. With the mercury in the city touching 102 F, my thermometer indicated the temp. of the dorsal portion of my temporally resting tongue as 104 F. That should mean I am giving energy to the surroundings which is at a temperature lower than me. Well, how about rearing this viruses(which cause fever) and implanting them in human to make them inexhaustible sources of heat energy(until they drop dead). Energy security problem solved.....! Ain't I a genius ? Well, guess the fever has finally made its way somehow to my brain. (Please don't doubt. It exists. An X-ray did reveal it to put an end to the perennial question which boggled me since times immemorial. Meantime, I am currently on a mission to defame those idiots who made me cram the second law of thermodynamics)

But more than the fever, it was the realization of my failing desperateness which turned me sad. My desperateness to meet some of my 'darlingest' (no ideas please) friends in A'bad and Baroda before I move on to Jharkhand. Again, the same cliche 'If wishes were horses, men would ride.'

Gentlewoman's game

Today I watched the fastest bowler in modern cricket. The fastest delivery was at an express speed of 107 km/ hr, with an average of 100 km/hr C'mon...I'm not kidding. The key is, I am referring to women's cricket. I think a spinner like Kumble bowls faster than that. Also, the words to which the women bowlers are complete strangers are line and length ( how does length matter to them anyway....). The only comforting aspect is that the fastest bowler is an Indian. But the quality of play is such that even an under 14 mens team of Sikkim (or Mizoram) would have felt as invincible as Australia playing Bermuda, if they have a match with any damn national team in women's international cricket. Well, cricket too like many other sports is purely a man's sport. It is not for without reasons that cricket is called a 'gentleman's game.' Women, I believe are too gentle for it.

PS : And had it not for the glamour and short skirts, I wonder how many would have ever watched women's tennis. I am not an anti-feminist, or a maso chauvinist pig. I have all the due regards for the fairer sex( By the way, I watched Serena Williams playing q.f. at French open. Does she also belong to the fairer sex ?).

Shadow ESOP

ESOPs have always been an instrumental tool for financial planning and retaining top talent by corporates in the West. Since mid 90s' this financial instrument has made its headway in India too, albeit on a smaller .Though it was Reliance first who thought of implementing it in India, many other corporates took the lead in this regard. ESOP has always been a classic case of deft financial jugglery, and the juggler's improving. The latest on the list is DLF. And they call their brainchild ' Shadow' ESOP.

In a normal ESOP, the company allots you say 1000 shares at Rs. 10 (to be paid later) with a vesting period of 5 years. You sit idle on your 'alloted shares' for five years. If the market value of share is Rs. 50 at end of five years,you just need to pay Rs. 10,000 ( 1000 X 10) to the company and get those shares.

In case of a shadow ESOP, you'll pay nothing, but the company will pay you Rs. 40,000 ( the diff. between market value and value offered to you) or the option to continue your 'shadow' stock. Direct benefits of this method is that it doesn't lead to any further issue of shares and hence no equity dilution. Also, your EPS remains intact. The other side of the coin, it results into a direct cash outflow from the company. Well, the accountants are sure in for some restless nights as they try to figure out the appropriation methodology for this potential outflows.

PS : DLF stands for ..'Damn Lucky Fellow'..(c'mon i m not kiddin this time, sacchi....ask K.P. Singh, the real DLF)

Paradoxical paradoxes

- A community in Rajasthan resorts to violent means to get itself registered as a ‘scheduled tribe’. During 1931 census, there were massive protests by some castes as they were enlisted to relatively ‘lower castes’. Jay Bhim. Jay Mandal.
- Though we have made significant strides for reshaping the economy from a state centred, highly regulated to market driven, the ‘Five Year Plans’ continue to serve as a prime tool in the eyes of finance ministry, Planning Commission and PMO. I think, a 50 year old socialist trademark won’t wither away so easily.
- Business Standard prints news pertaining to Intas (an Ahmedabad based pharma. Co.) acquiring Verionics twice on two different pages on the same day. One printed in the page detailing biz. News from West, and one on national. An Editing blunder or absence of any other significant happenings. I better not reveal my guess.
- No official message or communication on ‘Labour Day’ by CPI (M).
- Election of a right winged candidate in third consecutive presidential election in France, believed to be modern Europe’s socialist bastion and the only truly welfare state in Western Europe.
- BCCI having tough times to find a sponsor for cricket team’s tour to Ireland and England.
- The girl from China bags Miss Congeniality award at Miss Universe competition.
- And finally, a RIL SEZ project at Navi Mumbai gets delayed inordinately in getting approvals. Isn’t it a paradox?