RACE

'Few things never change', said so Philip to himself with an enigmatic grin on his face. As he walked restlessly in the corridors of Mumbai's airport, his indifference to the ringing cell disturbed few around. 15,000 miles Rachna, sitting at Heathrow airport with a newspaper in hand, gazing at the glass ceiling slids her hand through her hair. She wants to have coffee but feels too scared to get up. A blue liner lands in the background as Surya gets desperate to have a fag after sitting for over 2 hours at the Baroda flipping through pages of a comic. He feels the touch of sunrays on his hands.

Three people, three locations, three destinations but one aim. The Race for the ultimate begins

ek aur idea...

Global Warming has been the buzzword today. The unshakeable Mr. Bush has from God knows what corners has become suddenly concerned by the rising levels of Green house gases. A little bird tells me that a cow died due to excessive heat in his Texas ranch (and you blooooody thought that only Indian leaders ? have cows) . In the meantime, Ms. Maneka Gandhi is already busy making plans for an international agitation. C'mon I am not anti-maneka. However, lately this unchallenged 'animal' activist has come out with an environmental concern pertaining to pollution caused by burning dead bodies...(haan bhai haan, muzhe pata hai.....burning live bodies also leads to pollution). Assuming a mortality rate of 1 %, burning approx. 1 crore dead bodies, each requiring about 500 kg . of wood will result in consumption of nearly 5 million tonnnes of wood, and equivalent amount of electricity consumption in modern day crematoriums per year. Alternative means for the same if implemented would go a long way in reducing our emissions. But easier said than done. It looks really too difficult for India, the nation of controversies to make such a drastic shift, especially with religious sentiments running on all time high. Also, alternative means for the same need critical evaluation. Even if feasible alternative means for cremating dead bodies are found, lack of political will and social consensus would always be the major hindrances. I think a way out is to dispose off dead bodies in the open for feeding chils, kuttas and kauvas(bole to crows, u dumbo..hindi nahi aati kya ? ). After all, they are also living beings. Its our moral responsibility to take care of their dietary requirements. I know, none of you, except Ms. Maneka Gandhi will approve of this outstanding idea of mine. hmm..seems one more brilliant idea of mine is gonna go unnoticed. *f&$^- u crappy idiots..!!

PS : A recent research proved severe heart burns do not contribute to pollution. Carry on girls.

PSS: Another geek after his untiring labourious efforts finally succeeded in explaining me the reason for a ceiling friend having three fins(read previous post).

PSSS: From where and why does noise come when one tears paper ? Any gyani ppl. around ?

PSSSS : Click on the ads below..Support this blog

shapeless musings

Its nearly 2 am in the morning. Having just retired to bed couple of minutes prior, my fatigued body took to hibernation in a split second. But a jubiliant caravan disturbed it. Hoping for the caravan to pass away, I made my best attempt to resign self to slumber. But the adamant caravan had taken a break nearby. ' raahi judte gaaye, kaarvaan badhta gaaya'. Its now about 4 am. .But having observed the intrinsic liking of the caravan for the nearby place, I get a feeling that even a thought of sleep under the circumstance would be at best, very optimistc. I try my hand at completing an old poem, but make a big mess of it. Yaa....even bigger mess than what I made of this post ! Meanwhile, bright, enthusiatic, cheerful guys in their tryst with the destiny of love mingled with beautiful girls, playing 'kiddin'' games, holding hands and holding ^#$# (abe mamu, mazaak kar rahela hai). The merrymaking is far from over. Subtle play of guitar accompanied by fresh young voices recuperates continously. Man, there is love in the air!!!! Old jokes shared and laughed at, girlie giggling continues, flirtatious tendencies displayed at best, and......Hey , hold on ! A little lonely star is soon soon 'gonna' get relegated under the clouds. Some 'clouds' are bent on diminishing the little star's shine. A puff of smoke emanicipates from a distant cig. A shrill cry of cuckoo goes unheard. I can't see that little star right now. The cuckoo wants to make its presence felt, but poor little creature. Who would like to even see such an ugly little bird, no matter how well it sings. Suddenly a drifting cloud makes a way for the little star. The star just seems so near. I think that there is a huge storm concealed in the tears which are now almost instoppable from the star's eye. And now, I am waiting for the sun to rise. But hey...!!! Somehow, i feel the phoenix is rising too....

PS : If you can't 'understand' the above post, better not comment. and if you can, please explain me too.....even, I can't understand 'this'..!!!!

To my dear fan

I sit on my bed with almost a dozens of books and thousands of other artifacts. I give up my on my writing a decent article for the upcoming issue of a infra. biz. magazine. A nearby wall lizard watches me in attention as I flip disdainfully through the pages of one of my chronically erroneous articles. The humidity in this part of the country making me realize that the human body consists of 70 % of water..(C'mon..Though many disagree, I am a human too). I have a sadistic look at my fan, which nearly smirks at me as I battle like a little David against the mighty Goliathic heat. Meanwhile, I wonder why this fan has three fins and what the fins may be talking within themselves about me. It has watched me in all my emotions, crying at times, cribbing at times, laughing over some old joke. It has watched me as I undertake my journey down the memory lane, as I bathe in sunlight, watch the crisp flight of the eagle on a bright morning. It has watched me dreaming about that wonderful future that lies ahead, as I gaze at the half lit moon making its way among dimming stars. It has watched me as I fill myself with the cool breeze and hope it goes as far as I would wish it should. It has watched me as I exchange smiles with the sunflowers adorning the lawn ahead. It has been there when I do just close my eyes, hoping to find someone when I open it. It has seen those tears, those laughs which no one has ever and never will. It has been a witness of the constant surges of emotions, those spurts of energy which make me the unparalleled at times, those fleeting moments where I become just a spectator to my life which keeps heading on a freeway and destined for a sudden end.

'Dear fan. I never thought I would say this. But, I've never cared for you, never thought of you, and I'll move on one day leaving you. I have been turning you on and off, whenever I feel like. SORRY..! I wish you read this someday. Anyways, words are poor conveyors, the heart knows itself.

yeh kya ho raha hai...

People have never been so insane. Believe the world is moving the other way round. Mr. Bush has suddenly become worried about global warming. The 64 year ' old' man of the millenium is making love in films with cutie pies and girls. Chief Justice in Pakistan has been talking of ethics and responsibility. The man who ushered liberalization in India as a finance minister has got 'too' socially responsibile and has been presenting his views on inclusive growth. The main ruling party couldn't decide on the next president. A liberal leader becomes the premier of France, the tradiational socialist bastion of Europe. Our Hon'ble railway minister is busy taking business classes. ( Hope XLRI doesn't call him to share his gyan in his home state). The highly conservative Tata Group goes on a idiotic, absolutely illogical ( anything that can't be explained by logic is strategic). acquistion spree. The king of good times copulates with the common man. The no. of farmers committing suicide is just a statistic for the Hon'ble Agricultural minister...Bravo Minister... some wise man correctly said ' A single death is a tragedy, a million death a statistic. And finally, I am attending more than half the lectures at XL....sob....sob...

Dhakka maro dhaaka.....

Well, few days back some people in Bihar had the most dramatic experience of their life, while travelling in a train. The train staff asked them to push the train for a while. After being pushed for nearly half an hour by a 1000 odd people, the train did move twelve feet. The overhead traction lines in Eastern railway aren't continous. Neither they need to be. The train normally runs a short distance due to its momentum without the traction. But exceptions to scientific laws are becoming too frequent nowadays. The train stopped 12 feet short of the next overhead line.

I am huming that Govinda 's song 'This happens only in India'....and you thought, its only the superman who pushes train...uhh...!

PS: Traction or no traction, the trains will always move in Railways ministers state.

First Impressions - Jamshedpur

After 38 most boring hours of my life, I finally landed by Howrah Express in India's first planned township, Jamshedpur, named after the legendary visionary Jamsedji Tata, the centre figure of India's biggest business house. A single word which encapsulates my experiences with Jamshedpur is change. The weather changes more frequently than Dhoni changes his gloves and probably for the same reason - humidity......gosh..! u picked up on the jharkhand connection...wah wah ..! Even the rates of every commodity from needle to an almirah are as flexible as Indian batting. Surprises everywhere. The population here is Bongopolitan, with dadas contributing ..oops, consisting of 40 % of the population. By the way, I find 'dadis' with their big big big eyes and tonnes of lipstick fascinating. With the remaining 60 % (abhi tak dadi par hi atke ho kya....!)forming a perfect sample for the 'rest of india' population, (sample, population...wat am i saying...still the hangover of the mahaboring statistics class), the rest of the town is as demographically diverse as the starcast of L.O.C ( haven't seen that movie...lucky you). The markets here have a million shops. I believe the no. of shops outnumbers the population. The gardens here are as beautiful as they can be. Well maintained numbered roads ( reminds me of Gandhinagar, Chandigarh) with plantations running parallel presents a nice view. The hills in the background add to the scenic beauty of the place. The smoke from the chimney of Tata Steel plant at times tends to disturb this otherwise serene place. Seems, I am going to miss the hustle and bustle of Ahmedabad....more on jams'r later....ciao

Golden Rules - II

As I take a career break after spending four years in job, I present here a concise list of my Golden Rules for a sureshot rise in the corporate world, many of which I learned the hard way.

1. Diplomacy always pays.
2. At times, bluntness pays better.
3. Commit honestly. Have courage to back out from commitments, if required.
4. Wasting time isn't a waste always. Even if that means discussing economic policies of Banana Rep. with your boss.
5. Everybody can't be equally talented in all aspects. Let the relevant person take leadership in his area of talent.
6. Appreciate efforts, no matter what the result.
7. Life isn't fair. The best person doesn't always win. Learn to live with it.
8. Take breaks whenever you feel like. Don't wait for the workload to get less. The world isn't going to stop for you to get off.
9. Don't bury things. Admit mistakes tactfully.
10. Money matters.
11. Having a contigency job on hand is always better.
12. Be patient. There are many more people who put up with more crap than you do .
13. Value other people's time.
14. Wear a smile.
15. Bypassing your boss is a high risk - high return strategy. Not for the amateurs.
16. Carry your work home, not the pressure.
17. Don't chase fads.
18. You don't work for the betterment of the organization. You work so that your boss looks best.
19. Having only one godfather in a company can be brutal. Instead have none.
20. Nothing is so important or so urgent to make you tense.
21. Office parties/ picnics are never casual.
22. Two people can keep a secret, if one is dead.
23. Fairer sex is not always preferred.
24. To rise high, 'Smartness may be tolerated. Shrewdness would be demanded.'
25. There are shortcuts to success.
26. You won't stick to all of your today's perceptions tomorrow. Respect people who differ.
27. Prejudices exist. Biases are inevitable.
28. You ought to be good at networking.
29. If not, make close friends with the one who has the biggest network within as well as outside the company.
30. If you keep on doing things you do best, you restrict your chances to improve.
31. Try to get into a comfort zone as soon as possible. Never stay in a comfort zone for long.
32. Hardworking, intelligent, asslicker is as good as it gets.
33. Professional hazards exist everywhere. Don't whine.
34. Its better to be true than humble at times.
35. Take care of your health. You ought to live to reach at the top.
36. Back your men; sun, wind or snow.
37. And the last two things. a) Never share everything you know. b).....

I am hot

I am hot. I am hotter...No, its not metaphor silly...I was literally hot and hotter than the hot weather in A'bad. With the mercury in the city touching 102 F, my thermometer indicated the temp. of the dorsal portion of my temporally resting tongue as 104 F. That should mean I am giving energy to the surroundings which is at a temperature lower than me. Well, how about rearing this viruses(which cause fever) and implanting them in human to make them inexhaustible sources of heat energy(until they drop dead). Energy security problem solved.....! Ain't I a genius ? Well, guess the fever has finally made its way somehow to my brain. (Please don't doubt. It exists. An X-ray did reveal it to put an end to the perennial question which boggled me since times immemorial. Meantime, I am currently on a mission to defame those idiots who made me cram the second law of thermodynamics)

But more than the fever, it was the realization of my failing desperateness which turned me sad. My desperateness to meet some of my 'darlingest' (no ideas please) friends in A'bad and Baroda before I move on to Jharkhand. Again, the same cliche 'If wishes were horses, men would ride.'

Gentlewoman's game

Today I watched the fastest bowler in modern cricket. The fastest delivery was at an express speed of 107 km/ hr, with an average of 100 km/hr C'mon...I'm not kidding. The key is, I am referring to women's cricket. I think a spinner like Kumble bowls faster than that. Also, the words to which the women bowlers are complete strangers are line and length ( how does length matter to them anyway....). The only comforting aspect is that the fastest bowler is an Indian. But the quality of play is such that even an under 14 mens team of Sikkim (or Mizoram) would have felt as invincible as Australia playing Bermuda, if they have a match with any damn national team in women's international cricket. Well, cricket too like many other sports is purely a man's sport. It is not for without reasons that cricket is called a 'gentleman's game.' Women, I believe are too gentle for it.

PS : And had it not for the glamour and short skirts, I wonder how many would have ever watched women's tennis. I am not an anti-feminist, or a maso chauvinist pig. I have all the due regards for the fairer sex( By the way, I watched Serena Williams playing q.f. at French open. Does she also belong to the fairer sex ?).

Shadow ESOP

ESOPs have always been an instrumental tool for financial planning and retaining top talent by corporates in the West. Since mid 90s' this financial instrument has made its headway in India too, albeit on a smaller .Though it was Reliance first who thought of implementing it in India, many other corporates took the lead in this regard. ESOP has always been a classic case of deft financial jugglery, and the juggler's improving. The latest on the list is DLF. And they call their brainchild ' Shadow' ESOP.

In a normal ESOP, the company allots you say 1000 shares at Rs. 10 (to be paid later) with a vesting period of 5 years. You sit idle on your 'alloted shares' for five years. If the market value of share is Rs. 50 at end of five years,you just need to pay Rs. 10,000 ( 1000 X 10) to the company and get those shares.

In case of a shadow ESOP, you'll pay nothing, but the company will pay you Rs. 40,000 ( the diff. between market value and value offered to you) or the option to continue your 'shadow' stock. Direct benefits of this method is that it doesn't lead to any further issue of shares and hence no equity dilution. Also, your EPS remains intact. The other side of the coin, it results into a direct cash outflow from the company. Well, the accountants are sure in for some restless nights as they try to figure out the appropriation methodology for this potential outflows.

PS : DLF stands for ..'Damn Lucky Fellow'..(c'mon i m not kiddin this time, sacchi....ask K.P. Singh, the real DLF)

Paradoxical paradoxes

- A community in Rajasthan resorts to violent means to get itself registered as a ‘scheduled tribe’. During 1931 census, there were massive protests by some castes as they were enlisted to relatively ‘lower castes’. Jay Bhim. Jay Mandal.
- Though we have made significant strides for reshaping the economy from a state centred, highly regulated to market driven, the ‘Five Year Plans’ continue to serve as a prime tool in the eyes of finance ministry, Planning Commission and PMO. I think, a 50 year old socialist trademark won’t wither away so easily.
- Business Standard prints news pertaining to Intas (an Ahmedabad based pharma. Co.) acquiring Verionics twice on two different pages on the same day. One printed in the page detailing biz. News from West, and one on national. An Editing blunder or absence of any other significant happenings. I better not reveal my guess.
- No official message or communication on ‘Labour Day’ by CPI (M).
- Election of a right winged candidate in third consecutive presidential election in France, believed to be modern Europe’s socialist bastion and the only truly welfare state in Western Europe.
- BCCI having tough times to find a sponsor for cricket team’s tour to Ireland and England.
- The girl from China bags Miss Congeniality award at Miss Universe competition.
- And finally, a RIL SEZ project at Navi Mumbai gets delayed inordinately in getting approvals. Isn’t it a paradox?

Advertising for B-2-B

Branding through means of mass communication was something unheard for companies primarily in B-2-B transactions. Their limited and almost predefined customer base made it unsuitable and unworthy to resort to such exercise. Rather their advertising campaigns were limited to having stalls in ‘meets’, promotions at related conferences, ads in business magazines and pink dailies and direct mailing to selected potential customers. Nothing much has changed till date. However, suddenly there have been quite a few advertisements of some B-2-B transactional corporates. Though there aren’t pouring cats and dogs at the time, they are significant enough to indicate a trend, if not to reach a conclusion. Birla Group ads have been quite eminent across channels since last few months. Recently, Jaypee group and HCL are flooding the channels. (Though I personally find HCL’s adv. very unnerving. There is a thin line between self esteem and ego, and the commercial to a greater extent tends to be on the wrong side of the line ). L&T’s Imagineering campaign posters had occupied significant space in the print media and on hoarding in metro cities, though they haven’t raided the TV media after their highly emotional ‘ yeh mere papa ne banaya hai’ campaign. There are many other corporates who have resorted to such mass communication in the past one year. But in terms of creativeness, freshness of concept and subtly putting the message across, I think Accenture steals the show.

The core question for crore is then, why are companies involved in pure B-2-B transactions resorting to such full scale public advertising and that too through means of mass communication. Having worked on detailed financials of two major corporates purely in B-2-B transactions, I can safely assert that the proportion of advertising expenses to sales weren’t more than a quarter of a percent about a couple of years back. The same I assume would traditionally be the trend across all sectors and B-2-B companies. May be, the brand awakening and brand building is going to set things to change. However, such corporates aren’t much benefited by brand building if their ads are being viewed by non target customers. Their advertising and marketing campaigns were always deeply influenced by segmentation theory and would remain the same for years to come.

A closer look at the corporates meting out these ads would make you understand that almost all of this have a diverse customer base across sectors, and it would therefore not be absolutely out of place to use mass advertising as a tool to open up new potential customers. Though there are corporates purely in B-2-B transactions, which have thought otherwise. No means to know, whether they are more wise.

However, I feel the real reason lies somewhere else. A booming economy and a talent crunch have resorted corporates to vie for the available talent. A better branded company would find it easier to retain and attract people, other things (i.e. Location, salary, profile, company size) being same or equivalent. People would prefer working with say, Punj Lloyd (their adv. Stinks) than with Patel Engineering (nearly same sized companies). A brand name of a company also commands more loyalty from its employees.

A subordinate reason may be the effect a brand recognization of an organization has on its share price. (For its assumed that brand recognization leads to sustained monetary benefits in the long run). In the race to uphold shareholders’ wealth, several indirect measures are being resorted to ( and why not !) and addressing masses through advertising could be one of the motives.

Anyways, how successful this advertising campaigns have been would not be very discernible. So, just admire Tiger Woods forgetting to consider the rotation of ball(Accenture), enjoy the cuteness of the little boy impressing his baby 'girlfriend'. by operating the Hydro Plant(Jaypee) and helplessly watch the idiotic 'computer guy' talking crap till the innocous investment banker decides to buy out his firm (HCL). :)

Murdering English

Some brutal murders of the language I unfortunately discovered coming from different quarters in the past week.

A letter which self received from SBI started with ‘ Welcome to SBI. We are the only bank among 100 largest banks in the world’. But I didn’t took any offence as they are ready to give me a big loan at cheap rates without any collateral or guarantor. So, I’ll bank with the only bank among world’s 100 largest banks.

Ravi Shashtri coins out an entirely new meaning of ‘ Show no mercy. Take no prisoners’. (who says Indian coaches aren’t creative !). The temporal coach in his defence of using the above phrase said it means to defeat the opposition ‘fairly’ and ‘squarely’. Hmm...Dear Mr. Shashtri, you’re an f*king asshole and that means you have the sexiest butt on the planet. Last heard, Mr. Shastri’s English teacher tried to commit suicide.

A matrimonial advertisement posted by a prospective bride read – ‘I have just one sister married with a kid’. WTH…and I thought child marriages are passé and banned. I think I missed the chance when I was a kid. And read it again. ‘ …JUST ONE sister’. I think some people would be more comfortable writing in the regional languages though in English script, especially while posting matrimonial ads.

For further list, catch on Mr. Bush bullshiting on CNN. After completion(?) of his presidential term, he is planning to opt for a career change as a ‘stand-up’ comedian. He has all the skills needed for that. With his comic face and supreme knowledge on geography, I am sure the swagger 'gonna' be a big hit.

PS: Watching Miss Universe, especially the Q&A reinforced my conviction – ‘ Beauty and brains are diametrically opposite in location and proportions. All five final contestants had pre-prepared answers which were blurted out no matter what the question.

PSS : Any intelligent girl, I am sure, would not deem it worth to spend her precious time to contradict the above statement.

PSSS: How come I am looking so ugly today ?

Ahmedabad

As the time to march towards Jharkhand dawns closer, I am lurking here in my hometown for the last few weeks. Being a forced nomadic and having trot unfathomable places interacting and negotiating with human look-alikes for almost half a decade, I am really confounded as I enjoy uninterrupted full week at home. Agar duniya mein kahin jannat hai, to woh yahi hai, yahi hai, yahi hai. However, absences of some cool sexy apsaras in this jannat is slightly disturbing.

With no flurry of business calls, no official mails, no issues as important as the ‘existence of world’ depending only on me, no non-standard verbal creativeness of customers to be borne every morning, no alarm clocks bothering me (did they ever..?), I have decided to catch up on my lost sleep.( okie, that means I sleep seven hours a day…...alone ofcourse ) My reading inclination seems to have deserted me, and has been replaced by my nonchalant gazes at the idiot box. Seems I am as free as one can be, the word ‘free’ in literary sense. But I think, my honeymoon is going to end soon. Nope, u f*king crap, ‘Honeymoon’ not in literary sense. Samjha kar yaar. I am been assigned the highly tortuous task of cleaning up (or down..watever) my closet which boasts of hoarding more books than LDCE’s library. No ideas please. Not your type of books. Pure academic books, idiot. I think I can start a library if I don’t land up in a decent job.( Till now, I did decent job only. I meant the fat paychecks). And yaa, the list of items to be purchased, ( why do people call it ‘shopping’ ?) seems to be getting as long as Jacob Oram. Considering my super disinclination for purchasing (buddhu, bole to ‘shopping’), even a Tatenda Taibu would have suffice. Has anyone ever outsourced shopping out ? Help..!!..Help..!!

LD Blues

As I am soon going to leave for Jamshedpur, back to college, yesterday I turned nostalgic about those wonderful college days. Also, as J & S, my best friends were at my place and the semifinal match between Australia and South Africa literally being a one-sided contest, we took off on nostalgia highway to cherish those dream moments till early morning. Some interesting events…..

A blitzkrieg 9 ball 27 run innings in the LD cricket cup finals in 2003 by the worst ever batsman of our team. We went on to win the finals from a dead situation.

Leaflets written in spectacular rhetoric derogatory English by some highly sick idiots and pasted all over the college from classrooms and drawing halls, to library, cricket ground and even toilets alleging my link with a drug racket (oops…) and a former Miss LD, and then the drive undertaken by my friends to remove all of them within a couple of hours.

The petty fights between hostel blocks for some mundane reasons.

The legal battle we 50 odd students, fought against our professors, university, AICTE, and principal in the High Court and lost and finally the celebrations when the H’ble SC altered the ruling in our favour.

The football match in which I broke the arm of one of my best buddies. His falling down almost unconscious, regaining consciousness and uttering ‘ yeh haath katana padega’, and we scoffing at him.

“Managing’ about 2 lakhs of sponsorship for annual culfest from a cold drink company, and finally giving rights of canteen to its competitor.

Having stalls selling 33 paise water pouches at 2 rupees each and then spending the entire amount (about 20 K ) on parties within a month.

Our HOD calling me to testify that K was a student of the college during final year viva. His I-card being not granted as a sufficient proof.

Calling a strike, because a pro gave too much assignments.

A pro getting infuriated at me for reading ‘Business World’ in Material Lab, and challenging me to explain “Hardening Treatment for SS” to the batch, followed by self giving a two hours lecture and professor later borrowing books from me on Heat Treatment.

The three hours in which we initiated and completed our final year project for 100 marks, and the same project being submitted by four of us under different titles. The project report was actually a study report by a diploma student, and the only effort we took was to get Xerox copies and printing the first page. (and yaa, I got 88 marks)

I writing poems for a friend, so he can impress his 143rd ‘true love’.

Launching a website and conceptualizing a grand function for the same, fund raising, space selling, hosting, event management, and despite internal fights successfully completing the function. My first touch with management.

J whistling at a new hottie on campus only to find her taking our HMT lab later in the day.

Weekly trips to R-world to catch a movie at 20 bucks and in the process spending 50 bucks on petrol.

Think I had the most wonderful batchmates...Can't write more...Effusively sentimental.....did I say sentimental...uhhh..!

A Tribute

Did I entertain you ? He asked. And the audience responded with a resounding yes. The prince of Caribbean – Brian Charles Lara, one of the foremost epic batsman opted to hang his boots. His arrival to the international arena was characterized by a weakening West Indies side yet he did hold the mantle all alone by his charismatic batting. This lone ranger was infallible in his day, the issues recuperating with Caribbean cricket, not withstanding. His ravenous appetite for runs and big scores could only be surpassed by him, himself. With his ability to create magical moments, his artistic blend of flurry and defence, his ravishing cover drives, his ballerina footwork, this flight footed gentle giant devastated many a bowling greats on the cricket field. We would miss those magical wave of his wand, he so naturally, so effortlessly made while sending the ball over the fence. We would miss his ‘natraja’ pose while hitting the ball in near impossible gaps over square, his penchant for fighting it out, ‘all- out’, his unprecedented backlift, his artful sweeps, his flirtatious hits behind point, his deft placement, we will miss the artist of a genre above class. In this era of macho hitters, he kept the bastion of classic cricket alive, and we are fortunate to be part of generation that got entertained by this uncrowned prince. What else could be a more fitting tribute than a poster on the field during his last match that read ‘God doesn’t retire, then why does Lara?’

What Uncle Sam Really Wants

Yesterday night I read Noam Chomsky’s ‘What Uncle Sam really wants’, and I am really repentant why I didn’t read it before. Chomsky goes in details, no words minced to highlight the duality of US bid to remain the only dominant superpower serving its elites. Build around solid historical facts, it successfully articulates the deeper intentions and actions of the world’s superpower to usher ‘equality, liberty and fraternity’ around the globe. The devilishness of US to ring in a ‘New World Order’ is hideously bizarre. The author’s statement that almost all US presidents could be blamed for political genocide pretty much sums up the essence.

Though I am comfortable with the fact, that every nation has the right to further its own selfish interest, the means to which the ‘powerful’ at the White House resorted can only be termed ‘UGLY’.

PS : If you want me to send a soft copy of the book, drop in a mail.

Back to skool

This is my second last week with Alstom. Soon, I’ll be leaving Gujarat to join one of the ‘top’ rated B schools, and would be spending two long years of my life over there. After four years in corporate life, working for two corporates, I would be back to school. Back to books. Back to lectures. Back to submissions. Back to ‘mock projects’. There aren’t any butterflies in my stomach, but I still feel a bit anxious.

Whether I would be able to sit for long lectures ?. Some miscreant said attendance is compulsory. Poor me. Whether I would be able to read academic books. ? A few years back, I was attending L&T’s highly rated Management Development Programme for about a week at Lonawala and was truly bored to the core. The ‘self made genius” that I am, found the course too slow and contents too basic. I decided to leave the lectures midway and had a trip around Lonawala in the rain.

After gaining some limited experience in various business areas ranging from Project Management, Marketing, Sales, Biz. Dev., Strategic Planning, Project Finance for various multi billion projects, whether I would be able to survive when someone starts giving fundas on ‘Segmentation’ or talks about ‘NPV / IRR’ or ‘Supply Chain Management’. I think I need to empty my cup beforehand to gain some fresh tea, to relearn something in a better and structured manner. Anyways, for the record, I prefer black tea without sugar.

Metamorphosis

A few days back, I was a part of the audience at 2 day business enclave, where the topic under scrutiny was “Metamorphosis of Indian Industry. Is it for real ?” The dignitaries present to express their views included a motley of famed personalities from academia and industry. The list included CMD of GEB, MDs of GACL, GSFC, Director of L&T, CFO of Suzlon, CEOs from Thermax, Microinks and prominent IIM professors. All the speakers from the industry gave an elaborate account of the turnaround of their respective organizations and sounded very optimistic on the coming of age of the Indian Industry in general. Bottlenecks in infrastructure, government policies /intervention (read interference) and lack of sufficient talent pool notwithstanding. Having a chance to witness the flow of such positive vibes from corporate chieftains gave me a high.

I was enchanted by the title of the subject discussion, specifically the term ”Metamorphosis”, and I tried to delve deeper into it. So, what is Metamorphosis ? The dictionary gives the definition of the subject term as “ a transformation, as by magic or sorcery” and “a marked change in appearance, condition, form and character”. The most oft quoted examples of Metamorphosis are the changing of tadpole into a frog and caterpillar into a butterfly. But, what about the transformation of a small seed into a giant tree. Is it not metamorphosis? What about a spark of heat energy turning into a fire? Is it not metamorphosis? What about the transformation of a thug called “Valiya” to Valmiki rishi? Is it not metamorphosis ?
At times, this transformation, literally and metaphorically is chaotic and sudden. Sometimes, it is silent and long drawn. But usually, it is painful. The caterpillar turns blind, loses its limbs to emerge more beautiful. Is corporate India ready to take the dare of undergoing massive radical transformation. I believe Yes. The pain and risk of exploring unchartered territories abroad, optisizing, rejuvenating business models, aiming sky high and giving an all out effort to achieve those has been the storyline of many Indian corporate over last decade. But still, I feel the party is yet to begin and there is some time for champagne to flow. Cheers to Corporate India..!

Pandora's Box

Life has always posed unexpected endeavours for me and thankfully has given me the strength to undertake them and cherish them in my stride. However, I am not sure what lies unearthed in the Pandora’s box.

Never wanted to opt for science. Preferred Wordsworth to Watt. But took science as a relatively more career savvy option.

Got into a mechanical engineering in a herd mentality.

Thought of making some engineering innovations, when secured a job at L&T. Never thought, life had plans for taking me into marketing.

Never thought I would leave L&T

Never thought I would compromise on ethics, and finally toss them out for a spin.

Never thought I would make some life lasting special friends in Baroda especially after putting 18 hours in office daily.

Never thought I would have to leave them so soon, and the very thought of leaving them would turn me into tears.

I wonder what the future holds,
How successful I would be,
Whether I’ll live some other life,
Or a life where I’ll be free.

Life is a Puzzle

Life is a puzzle….said so R with an ‘all knowing’, yet sadistic photographic ‘grin’. It is indeed, many would not dare to disagree. The moment we feel we have solved it, the puzzle rejuvenates like a phoenix in least expected form, and at worst suited time, to make you go through the grind of solving it again. Barring some enlightened souls such as Buddha, Vivekananda and some contemporary ‘babas’, we all have been wondering on the trick to come up with a solution to the dilemmas it has been posing to us.

Coming back to R. This highly energized, highly enervated individual has been through thick and thin of relationships with ...hmm...three thousand seven hundred eighty five females on last count. (okie..its exaggeration, but got the feel naa..) And now, he wonders whether he wants to be a member of the institution, which run-of-the-mill people like me call marriage. His programming expertise is of little help to him to draft a software for this problem. Aware of his basic instincts of being on a prowl for anything remotely female, he is not sure whether he would be able to curb his ‘hunting’ tendencies post marriage. His chances of not displaying flirtatious inclinations for three hours in a row are as low as Munaf Patel hitting a double century against Australia and Mandira Bedi talking sense on cricket….oopps...is she gonna be there in this WC? Yaa…world cup fever has caught me. My dear friend R, being a good guy (meri sangat ka assar hai), he has amazingly (or rather…he amazingly has) staunch views about fidelity (or infidelity). Fidelity and R…wow, that is as synonymous as Bush and World Peace. To cut a long story short, my dear R prefers to stay single rather than ruin someone’s life. Magar kambhakt life…yeh parents hai, ki maante nahi. Their “aakhiri khwaish” of playing with their ‘pota- potis’ is to be fulfilled. Hey, oldies…can’t you be a bit innovative in your wishes…! Apne yaar ko problem mein dal diya naa.

So, yesterday evening, R and myself had our thinking caps on to come out with a solution for his ‘puzzle’. After two plates of samosas, two packs of balaji namkeen, and one pepsi (without whisky …neat maar diya), we fail to come up with a agreeable and ‘workable’ solution. But then suddenly the creative genius in me ‘rose’ to the occasion and I suggested him to find out a girl who has had relationships with four thousand three hundred ninety six guys earlier, and marry that ‘Casanovi’.(that’s feminine for ‘Casanova’)

“What…u &%^%#% fu&^ idiot...r you crazy…we are discussing about my marriage…not one more ding-dong affair ?”…Okie…idea dropped. Puzzle unsolved. (Meanwhile, my mind runs wild thinking of the matrimonial adv. for finding that ‘Casanovi’)

Poor R, my deepest sympathies to him and I sincerely wish that he soon finds out a ‘workable’ solution agreeable to him and his parents. Well, I again quote one of my earlier lines. “A man wants to be a woman’s first love and a woman wants to be a man’s last passion”

PS : Any solutions welcomed. Giver of the selected solution will get two days and three nights free stay ‘ all expenses included’ at GIDC –Phase IV, Vatwa, Ahmedabad.

Missed

I have been shuttling between Mumbai and Baroda-A ‘bad a lot since last few months with such a frequency that even the flight attendants get worried, if I do not show for more than a week in the morning flight. And three flights in the last week made them really wonder, why this moron does “up-down” between Mumbai and Baroda. So, an over-anxious flight attendant got the courage of striking a conversation with me.

FA – Good Morning. Hope you had a nice day yesterday in Mumbai
Me ( with indifference)- yaa..Thanks
FA – What do u do ?You travel a lot
Me - But, still its much less than you.
Still the anxiety had not withered away. Her expectant eyes, forced me to come out with an answer.
FA – (pleading for an answer..bol bhi de)
Me – Smuggling
FA – (with a plastic smile)….What…naah! you must be joking. You don’t look like that.

Oops….! I never knew she had attention on my looks. Nahi to hum bhi ekdum jhakaas taiyar hokar jaate. Missed the train in flight. Anyways, we normally act rude and quite indifferent to flight attendants, but I can emphatize with them for having to put up with demanding morons like me, and that too with a smile. Their job indeed is more tough than mine..

Why are you living ?

The last few weeks have been really nice on my physical health. Being forced to stay in Baroda with less touring around, enables me more time with myself. But not having anything on hands except bunch of magazines around, and the sagas of ruining social fabric in TOI and garlanding business successes in BS, my chaotic mind takes off to unstable territories, and poses questions difficult to comprehend, more difficult to answer. Dimaag hai (?) ki manta nahi…

So, yesterday my enigmatic mind posed me a question: “Why are you living?” I keep on trying out excuses to appease myself, but I know that I am nowhere close to find out an answer, good enough to maintain my self esteem. My entry to the earth was beyond my reasonable control, but I utterly fail to find a reason strong enough to continue my presence. No… I am far from any suicidal instincts (Suicide is a punishable offence under IPC…waah…that’s a wonderful law). But after leading a bizarre existence trotting this land for 25 years, it shook me inside out to dwell on this perennial question of life. Martin Luther King once said that every man should have a cause to die for. Atleast, I find something to live for. (Beyond self, family, friends and organization) I don’t remember nor care who was my great grandfather, and the same would be the affinity of my great grand children with me? I don’t aspire to leave my footprints on the sands of time to last forever, but even if my tenure on globle was to be terminated tomorrow, the earth won’t shrink a bit. My contribution (if any) to current “earth” is miniscule by any parameters. …Maybe, I live because I am living, not living because I want to “Live”.

PS : For the second time, my attempts to understand the simple Maslow’s pyramid failed yesterday. (Free) Help required.

Not my subject

Time : 7 am, 30th Jan., 06. Location : Chair Car, Indrayani Express. Destination: Pune (for an interview) Condition : Deep slumber (after 48 haphazardly hectic hours.). The panoramic view of the exotic hills not enough to make me stretch my seemingly non-ending sleeplessness. A shrill voice did disturb it a bit. But, a tired body and a fatigued mind ignored it. But the voice didn’t bulge. And now it had a shriller company. Regaining partial consciousness, I diverted my attention to the episode being played. Two little teenage girls were cajoling a person, whom I learnt was a doctor to pay a visit in the next coach to their father having acute chest pain and difficulties in breathing. The TC, from his passenger list had figured this doctor out. He was also literally prodding the doctor for his services on urgent basis. The doctors blunt reply in an indifferent tone that he is just a physician and this is not his “subject” shocked me out my comfortable chair. I joined the girls and many other co-passengers in requesting the doctor for providing his attention to the case at hand, but to no avail. He continued his gaze outside the comfortable AC coach window and advised the now nearly weeping girls to get down at Pune ( which was over 1 hr) and find some doctor there. Courtesy, some other gentleman who contacted his family doctor and could arrange an ambulance at the next station, the “subject” got down at the next station. I do not know what happened to him. I do not guess whether the doctor could have alleviated the pain of that man. But the inhumane tone and behaviour from him was certainly unwarranted. Maybe, he belonged to that breed of doctors such as Dr. Asthana of Munnabhai MBBS fame, who do not love their patients. I shared this over here, as this was one of the rarest moment in my life, wherein inspite of deepest desire to help someone out in his moment of crisis, I was utterly helpless. Shame on you, Doc. Shame on you.

I think Railways should consider having a doctor -on – call arrangement at its stations. Its over three days since the incident, but I am not able to get the imprints of the episode just fade away. Anyways on a lighter note, “Why is a doctor’s work called practice ?”

Back to Travel

I had three days off on 26th, 27th and 28th after 3 days of constant hectic touring at not so good places in Gujarat. And the lazy lump, that I am, wasted three days watching the idiot box, moving around with friends and boozing. Hmmm...not a waste really....Anyways, I start tomorrow for a more hectic week. Have seven cities in the next five days in my agenda. Start from Baroda tomorrow morning. And have to "manage" attending a friend's wedding in Porbandar during weekend. ( Hey, R...I m not commiting..I will try to be there). Its over three and half years, since a bunch of extra "ordinary" gentleman passed out of engineering college with me. And a hell lot of them are tying the knot. Its great news for me, as now I can have "Ghar ka khana" in most of the cities nearby. Maybe I should also get "settled". Maybe not...maybe....maybe not...Hey, I m just 25, can still easily afford to procrastinate my wedlock ( why does it rhyme with deadlock ?) for some time..

Also, I wonder sometimes, whether I enjoy travelling or staying in the same place....well...as long as I can have some interesting experiences, some nice conversations, some bitter quarrels to keep my thinking hat charged, and get paid handsomely for each day of travel, who cares ?

I know this post is crap and as bullshit as it can get, but getting crappy is not new for me...and for the "bullshit"...hmm....Just Flush it...

Left and Right

It is said that our brain consists of two parts. The left and the right. Left brain oriented people are considered to be logically configured, whereas the right brainers are artistically inclined. A few days back I was discussing “Singur” with a colleague in Kolkata, who was all in praise for the ruling party and its policies. He also happens to be a “grass root” worker of the party ( I am yet to understand the analogy of “grass root”; a tree root would be more reliable, I guess). During the conversation, he made a rather innocuous remark. “We, leftists are Left brain oriented. We think logically and have a more judicious view”. I agreed spontaneously. After all, how can a Left-ist be “right” minded ?”

The concept of socialism (which inspires to further attain the idealist state of Communism) tends to achieve it via many facets of “disruptional” change to current scenario through its policies of perceived “equality”. However, for the sake of making a note, the principal argument which led to uncovering of Marx ideology is the concept of workers, labourers, peasants being always in a position diagonally opposed to that of the capitalist. The assumption that a capitalist always tends to exploit the working class, which did hold true to a greater extent then led to widespread acceptance of this disruptive Marx ideology. More than a century later, there is utterly no need to emphasize that things have changed substantially, however “lefts” are still left. Anyways, as some wise man once said, if everybody is “right”, then there would be nothing “left”.

Men & Women

• A man wants himself to be woman’s first love. A woman wants herself to be man’s last passion.
• A girl wants many things from a guy. A guy wants just one thing from many girls.
• To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.
• Men are like dogs. They keep coming back. Women are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone

Extracts from multiple sources

Long Live Corruption

In a recent article in Biz Std. (13th Jan., ’07, Column - Al Fresco), I read about a survey on corruption. It estimates that a total of 21,068 crore is paid as bribe yearly in India. What ….? Just 21,068 crore. That’s just about 210 bugs per head. This figure I feel is grossly underestimated. For purpose of clarity, I personally classify the bribes as Personal bribes and Corporate Bribes, with the latter being a major contributor to the overall corruption. However, thanks to ingenuous financial acumen of Indians (self can be contacted personally for such ideas !!!), the bribes paid by Corporate India rarely make it to the news. As someone, who has been a part of the infrastructure sector for nearly 4 years now, I can say with utmost conviction, that the figures quoted in the survey are just the tip of an iceberg. As the chain extends from the janitor to the top-notch chairperson, it has become an “official” way of life, a custom to be religiously followed for getting things done, a “jugad” that is necessary to carry on and sustain self in the business. For the ideal (idle) minded, who dismissed the movie “ Corporate” as “just a film”, I can assure you, the “real”world is a lot more murkier than presented on the reel. However, most of us associate bribes and corruption with Government organizations. I do not deny the fact, however, this incurable disease has recently made its way even into private sector, although on a lesser scale. The “Police” services ? topped the charts in the survey as most corrupt, I think, probably because the common man has far less dealings with the Defence sector, dealing with whom, at times makes one think of Police as “very reasonable”. India’s rank as the third most corrupt country on the globe (was it HDI survey ?), I believe, has inspired many babus and netas to fight hard for the attaining the pole position.

Corruption, has become so ingrained in our customs that its high time, we legalize it. The Railways department through its “Tatkal reservations” and the passport offices through their “Urgent Passport” have already taken the lead in doing so. The additional money, which one required to pay to avail the benefit of getting things quickly, is now legalized, and money goes to Governments coffers for other (mis)use. The only seemingly benefit in such schemes is the elimination of “black money” in the process. The scheme introduced by PC and his finance ministry few years back for converting your black money to white, just by declaring it and paying 1/3rd of the amount, aimed at just the same. Did you say “ What about ethics…..hmmmm ..Damn it !!!” Lets legalize our bribe process across all sectors. How about, 1 Lac for a Class I govt. job, 2 lakh for selling adulterated foodstuff, 10 % for financial frauds, 25 % for theft, 3 lakhs for rape and 5 lakhs for murder. Then we shall truly become a modern and civilized society. Also, the burden on judiciary will reduce, sunny paji won’t shout “Tarikh pe Tarikh”, and we shall enter an utopian era. Long Live India…Long live corruption !

Poem

One more of my favorite poems


If I could save time in a bottle
the first thing that I'd like to do
is to save every day 'til eternity passes away
just to spend them with you
if I could make days last forever
if words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
again I would spend them with you
if I had a box just for wishes
and dreams that had never come true
the box would be empty except for the
memories of how they were answered by you
but there never seems
to be enough time to do the
things you want once you find them
I've looked around enough to know that
you're the one I want to go through time with
I hid you for a long time
the way a branch hides its
slowly ripening fruit among leaves,
and like a flower crystal of ice
on a winter window
you open in my mind.
In my heart I keep
the sparkle of your eyes
the tender warmth of your smile
the small tilt of your head
and your little body
and I dream,
dream of holding you close
caring for you, protecting you
and loving you always.
When I think of love ...
I think of roses and red hearts ...
quiet walks ...
and very soft, tranquil music ...
I envision an eagle taking flight on a crisp fall morn ...
the first snowflake in the winter ...
and the sound of the first robin in the spring ...
I envision a glorious sunrise ...
a spectacular rainbow ...
and stars brightly shining on a summer night ...
But most of all, I envision you ...
your eyes radiating warmth, joy and vibrance ...
and the tender feelings in my heart
from your friendly smile.

20 Golden Rules for Workplace

1. Rule 1. - The Boss is always right.
2. Rule 2. - If the Boss is wrong, see rule 1.
3. Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks, and promotions.
4. Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.
5. If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
6. When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
7. It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you are going to do.
8. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.
9. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
10. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
11. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
12. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
13. Following the rules will not get the job done.
14. If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
15. Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".
16. No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
17. You can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work you are supposed to be doing.
18. In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.
19. In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.
20. The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong

Picasso

My mother said to me, "If you become a soldier, you'll be a general; if you become a monk, you'll end up as the Pope."
Instead, I became a painter and wound up as Picasso. - Pablo Picasso.

Join Us

A recruitment Ad. for Indian army may go like this " Join us. Travel to new places. Meet Interesting People."

For the US marines corps. it goes like this " Join us. Travel to new places. Meet interesting people. AND KILL THEM ".

No other country has had more blood stains of innocent denizens on its hands than US, that too fighting miles away from its shore.

To my software friends

Few days back, somebody who had read my profile on Orkut, specifically " I am in good in networking" called me up ( I have deleted my contact no. since) to inquire about the scope of "Networking" in Gujarat....Poor guy....he was an software engineer, and he mistook a mere normal mortal like me to possess some great talent, accessible to only those elite band of Homo Sapiens who term themseleves as "software engineers".

Exceptions apart, I have come across hordes of S/W guys (unfortunately ...not girls !), who couldn't find anything else to describe about themselves, except that they are Software engineers... ( Is it a status symbol ? I am ill informed then). But I utterly fail to understand the significance of subjects one studies during his / her graduation to one's persona, that being a software engineer is used as the punch line for identification.

Well, the whole lot of ITES and its cousins contribute a meagre 3.5 % of India's GDP ( RIL alone contributes about 2.8 %....oops..I go the stats. way again). The best compliment that I can ascribe to them is that of metaphorical "frog in the well".....My dear software friends....Though the significance and importance of IT is beyond doubt, however a lot was achieved in this world even before the first computer was made.

Weather

Well, the weather in Gujarat was quite lukewarm for a better part of December. But now, its getting cold, ( by Gujarat's proportions) as mercury dips down to 10 C. Normally, the temperature normalizes by Uttaryan, but weather seems to have different plans this time...Sometimes, I feel I can easily relate to weather, as I have something in common with it. " Notwithstanding the amount of criticism, we have our own way".

GDP

India Inc. is poised to register a record of four consecutive years of 8+ percent of GDP growth. Newslines in pink newspapers and lot of magazines have highlighted this point now and then. However, there are too many misconceptions about Gross Domestic Product (GDP) . Here , I try to share some GDP gyan. hey...is this my blog or some educational site ?...hmmmm... watever....!!!here i start...

GDP is the ‘market value’ of all the goods, services, agricultural products generated by a region or country in a specified period. The value of goods+services+agri is derived by the final purchase prices by the end consumer. (not the wholesale prices). Goods+services+agri include farm and farm products, durables, non-durables, oil, electricity, labour prices, metals, services etc. and any item that has a market value.The GDP variation may be due to the variations in ‘market value’ of goods+services even when the quantity of products do not vary.

Nominal GDP: It is the money value of goods+services produced in a region/country based on the prices of a particular period. (inflated prices)

Real GDP: It is the money value of goods+services produced in a region/country based on the prices of a particular base period. (non inflated prices)

Note -

1. GDP accounting includes the net of imports and exports. The economic indicator which is ‘native’ to the country’s gross product which, does not include imports and exports is GNP.- Gross National Product.

2. Do not use GDPs of different countries for comparison. The prices of same goods+services are different in different countries. In which case, use the GDP calculated based on Purchase Parity Prices or based on Exchange Rates.

3. GDP sometimes is misleading and is not the ‘complete’ economic indicator as it does not include economic value addition from black-money, voluntary or charity work of economic value, goods+services exchanged in barter and not accounted in money terms. India’s GDP is quite underestimated relative to western economies, because of the amount of voluntary work is significantly higher. Your mom / wife cooking food for you does not attribute to rise in GDP in India, but similar food purchased at an restaurant contributes.
4. India’s GDP is 692 Billion $ on nominal basis and 3200+ billion $ on PPP basis.

Want a Chapter on Inflation.....its even more boring.....nope...i won;t write..

Job Hoping

Last month, on my flight to Delhi from Baroda came across an ex-senior colleague ( age 50 + ) from my previous organization. As we were in altogether different teams, working for different multi billion projects, didn't had much interaction with each other except for the casual "Hi..Hello" during my tenure of over three years at L&T. My subject colleague was not aware that I have left L&T, and his first reaction on seeing me was to think "What the hell, is this stupid UPS doing in this flight to Delhi ? He is not working on any such project, which brings him to Delhi. "Belated Diwali and New year Greetings exchanged, I told him about my change of job. The next to follow was a long tantrum from him on the "Penetration of Western culture in India, Youths acting irresponsibly and leaving jobs now and then, ill effects of job hoping and other heaps of bullshit" that too with profound conviction, as we made our way through the elevators, waited for over 20 min for luggage to arrive, right till the time self left the airport. I wanted to argue with that person, but as somebody says, never argue with a pig ( because, onlookers can't tell the difference). However, I post here my take ( Not arguements in favour of job hoping), but an explanation particularly to and for the wise intellectuals, twice my age or even older for the current "sordid" state of "affairs" in job arena. Here I begin......

"For an entire generation or two, which came up to their prime of youth in 70s and 80s, even getting the basic necessities of life was not an easy task for many throughout their childhood and youth. In India, which at that time wrestled with droughts, food sufficiency was distant dream, lack of Industrialization, yet to gain "critical mass" mass movement from rural to Urban India, the accompanying poverty etc., the best dream a person could dare to see was to pass graduation, and somehow land up in a Government job. The next best being a job with Tata, Birla or L&T. People who were selected at these organizations felt it their moral responsibility to work and slog for these organizations, and had an emotional touch ( similiar to a family member) attached to these companies. The very thought of leaving these organizations was considered a sin ( namak harami) by a vast majority. "This company gave me a job, when I didn't had any......now how could I leave it ". Past 2000, tables have turned. Post liberalization, its the employees who are choosers, as job market galores, with insufficeint talent pool, the importance ascribed to an qualified and talented individual can never be over emphasized. Still, today's youth slog, not for an attachment or sense of moral responsibility, but for their rage of performance, the desire to progress, and their result oriented approach. Yet, the moment they find, there is some other company, which encapsulates their aspirations better, they shed off their "comfort zone" and reach out to live and fulfill their career dreams "

I know, I have failed to put up an explanation good enough to break any ice regarding my difference of opinions with 50+ age colleagues, but hey, .Isn't this, what they call "Generation Gap ?"And to that senior ex-colleague of mine - It was L&T, the first company to come for campus at my college, and select only UPS out of 185 mech. students, well over one year in advance... At 50+, you need to "grow up".

Unreasonable Reasoning

Read an article in yesterday's TOI editorial in support of reservations for ST / SC, "supported" by pathetic unreasonable reasoning by Mr. Uke, Member, Ambedkar Trust (or Mission..?). Self do not prefer to get into lengths challenging that, as I do not feel the need to remphasize the loads full of stupidity in the lame "reasoning" of pro- reservation lobby, which favours reservation on basis of caste. Just want to state to Mr. Uke and the editorial team at TOI, that democracy was never meant for establishing equality of conditions. It just tries to guarantee equality of opportunities.

I would also take this opportunity to state one more fact, especially to our Leftists friends who constantly keep on complaining about the growing inequality in the country since decades. The Communist heaven of China has a Gini coefficient of 41. XX compared to India's 33.XX. (Gini coefficient is a measure of the income inequality for the subject nation / state. A higher coefficient means higher inequality). Do I need to write any more.

Foresight

I enjoy reading forwarded mails, but do not forward forwards. However, can't resist the temptation for sharing this one. This quotes reflect the foresight of so-called logically inclined intellectuals at a point of time.

"There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, 1977

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, in 1943

"The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a ‘C’, the idea must be feasible."- A Yale University management professor, in response to student Fred Smith’s paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service (Smith went on to found Federal Express)

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."- Bill Gates (1955-), in 1981

"We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, in 1962

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"- Harry Morris Warner (1881-1958), co-founder of Warner Brothers, in 1927

Current Account Deficit

Yesterday, I rather unsuccessfully tried to explain the significance and meaning of Current Account Deficit to a wannabe MBA. Took quite a lot time, to make things clear about Current Account Deficit and Capital Account.

So, here I present a simpler version, the very basics of Current Account Deficit for non-eco. background people like me.

C.A.D. simplified -

For importing things / goods, you need to pay in foreign currency ( say dollars). You get this dollars by the things which you have exported. In case there is a shortfall, you need to take a debt from out of the country in dollars.( that is you have to take a external debt). Also you can use some portion of your forex reserves. The condition in which there is such a shortfall is called Current Account Deficiet.

Some economists believe that a current account surplus is not good, as the surplus dollars will have to be invested in low yielding US bonds / treasury. A little CAD is good, as it would be possible to borrow money at low interest rate and use it in high yielding investments in a booming economy such as us. However, a high CAD would lead depreciation in currency, and overall outlook on the economy will become weak.

India’s CAD howers around currently 2-3 % of GDP since last three years.

Distinction Between Merger and Acquisition

Although they are often uttered in the same breath and used as though they were synonymous, the terms merger and acquisition mean slightly different things. When one company takes over another and clearly established itself as the new owner, the purchase is called an acquisition. From a legal point of view, the target company ceases to exist, the buyer "swallows" the business and the buyer's stock continues to be traded. In the pure sense of the term, a merger happens when two firms, often of about the same size, agree to go forward as a single new company rather than remain separately owned and operated. This kind of action is more precisely referred to as a "merger of equals." Both companies' stocks are surrendered and new company stock is issued in its place. For example, both Daimler-Benz and Chrysler ceased to exist when the two firms merged, and a new company, DaimlerChrysler, was created. Mittal Steel's bid for Arcelor though was an acquisition in intent, the detailed workout made it look an merger of equals. In practice, however, actual mergers of equals don't happen very often. Usually, one company will buy another and, as part of the deal's terms, simply allow the acquired firm to proclaim that the action is a merger of equals, even if it's technically an acquisition. Being bought out often carries negative connotations, therefore, by describing the deal as a merger, deal makers and top managers try to make the takeover more palatable. A purchase deal will also be called a merger when both CEOs agree that joining together is in the best interest of both of their companies. But when the deal is unfriendly - that is, when the target company does not want to be purchased - it is always regarded as an acquisition. Whether a purchase is considered a merger or an acquisition really depends on whether the purchase is friendly or hostile and how it is announced. In other words, the real difference lies in how the purchase is communicated to and received by the target company's board of directors, employees and shareholders.

With Extracts from George Carell's paper. And yaa, a post on Leveraged Buyout (LBO) and Management Buyout (MBO) soon...

Voyage

One of my latest poems, which I somehow completed and have managed to save it with self.

VOYAGE

Out here in the wilderness I roam,
Miles away from that cushy home,
No stream of cool water pass by
Lies above the bold blue sky.

Memories of convivial do regain,
Stirs up in thy heart a sweet pain,
About the one whom heaven bestow
With Me in the Moments of love,

When the little birds did chirp,
On shady trees with green leaves,
The sea had never such a shove,
The church bell rang on the fore.

The silent winds were fragrant then,
The soil was wet with the drops of rain,
The rainbow which glamoured in the west,
Me, an uncrowned emperor in conquest.

When you parted ways with me,
Those tears would have filled the sea,
Devoid of soul, my days began,
Without thee, I was a hollow man.

The chilly winds are now blowing by,
As I stand here on bizarre mountain high,
The sun is setting, it is twilight,
And the death knoll rungs nearby.

I see now, that mysterious hand,
Which parted globe in blue and sand,
My voyage will now soon began,
To perish in His eternal reign.

10 Business Trends

I give here a list of 10 happenings/ trends during 2006 in Indian Business arena, which are different from previous years ( for better or worse) and 10 happenings which were the same, trends which in my view had a significant impact on the economy.

Economic policies and path correction by RBI has not been listed, as its impact has yet not been felt. I also exclude the Outbound deals in Steel sector as the same took place outside the territorial waters of India.

So, here is UPS’ list of things, which appeared afresh on the businessfield in 2006
1. Abnormal rise in realty sector.
2. Retail Plans unveiled by all biggies.
3. Oil touching 78 $ a barrel, to again stabilize at 55 $.
4. Nuke deal gets through. Defence open for private sector
5. Cement prices shooting through the roof.
6. Sensex scaling record Sustainable Highs.
7. Non-volatility in steel prices for the entire year.
8. The SEZ euphoria starts and continues.
9. VAT implemented. No hiccups yet. What say PC ?
10. Orders for two Ultra Mega Power Projects issued thru competitive bidding

Things which haven’t changed from previous two years.

1. Sluggishness in Reforms, Insurance, mining & labour laws specifically.
2. IPO flurry continues.
3. Failure to meet electricity generation capacity targets.
4. Corruption and procedural delays in Business dealings with Government org.
5. Teledensity continues to grow.
6. Salaries continue to rise.
7. Refining capacity increases. New oil and gas finds.
8. Big Ticket M&As made and felled.
9. Double digit growth rate in Services.
10. Agriculture again laggard. (Food deficit occurs)

Views and counterviews anticipated.

New Year Begins

The first week of the new year was quite terrible for me. Lost my cell, missed a flight, couldn’t get flight booking for an “urgent” meeting to Mumbai, lost two big orders, had a not so pleasant conversation with boss, got my finger crushed in the elevator door, got into ugly spats with a colleague, could not keep my word for a meeting with an friend, my PC got crashed, watched India losing Test Match and series to SA, hurt another friend (not physically…this time atleast), could not keep to my new year resolutions and had to resort to a lot of lies ( thats a professional hazard).

But this week seems to be quite good so far. Finally bagged one order to start the year. Expect another big one anytime. Able to avoid touring and stay in Baroda for 2.5 consecutive days. I have got a new cell, but haven’t passed on its new number to most people, and hence am able to relatively relax (My cell is for my convenience, not for caller’s), patched up again with that friend. Met an old school friend (on whom I had a great crush during school days). And yaa….had a 10 hour sleep yesterday night, followed by “No work” in office today…now thats what you call a “Professional – Personal Life Balance”

Oops..! Forgot the real intent for this post. I was supposed to be writing this about what marks apart a year from another. And it was supposed to be on a serious note. Anyways, maybe some other time. But still, to aptly voice my feelings, I misquote here a small lyric penned by a friend.

“ Years do not begin, and never end,
Except for purposes of calibration;
Gives us a moment to reflect and
Share our joys to have celebration”

Have a fantastic and rocking year ahead….

Suicide Note

Extracts from a suicide note.
This piece of paper hungs at the back of my desk. Just keeps on giving me the courage to say "NO" when unreasonable professional targets are given. Reminds me, that I have options.....and yaa...they are not suicidal.

"If they don't like me, then I would leave,
I am not like them and I cannot pretend ;
I am my own parasite,
I don't need a host to live."

IF

One of my favourite poems by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!


Too much qualifications and characteristics to qualify as a Man...I think I should, rather abandon the idea.

Corporate Social Responsibility

Why do organizations do business ? The only two motives for any private organization do undertake business activity are - I: to make money today. II : To make more money tomorrow. All actions, decisions for a business unit are / have to be directed keeping these two motives in the central frame. This has been so far, the unsaid, yet widely acknowledged fact in the business world. From erstwhile “tradesman” to Carnegie and Mittal, generations have been doing the activity of business based on the “selfish” motive of wealth generation. Means for disbursement of this wealth has had contradictory policies in capitalist and socialist economies, however will pursue that topic sometime later.

But, currently, thanks to a bunch of corporate jokers and mediapersons, a CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) dimension to business is attached. Almost all organizations in India and abroad do indulge in such CSR initiatives. Such acts of charity by organizations is being taken by one and all in a positive spirit, and hordes of CEOs and MDs, donning the Who’s who list have been talking about “their” CSR activities with pride. Too much an emphasis is nowadays being laid on the CSR aspect of an company, with many organizations including my earlier and current companies, specifically recruiting “experts” for the same. From Sankaralingam to Ratan Tata, Narayanmoorthy to Roongta, from A.M.Naik to Ambanis and even Mallya, all have openly stated their CSR intiatives as a part of “their” duty to pay back to the society.

Should Organizations resort to CSR ? My take : NO, Absolutely NOT.
Most of the intellectuals would dismiss my take as idiotic or foolish, but as I have been many a times accused of both, I do not mind of stating my conviction once again to earn that pedigree.

The duty of an organization towards the society, is to make available goods and services, in which it has expertise in the best form in terms of price and quality to the society. It is during the pursuance of this selfish motive of earning profit by providing goods and services, that an organization fulfills its duty towards the society. It is also through the taxes it pays the government, which is responsible for social and economic upliftment of the society. It need not indulge in direct upliftment of society through philanthropic projects. It would be an unjustice to the stakeholders (shareholders included) to have their resources divested in areas not yielding profits. Instead, that money should be invested for furthering business prospects.

There has been a growing parade of top-notch billionaires in US, who undertake CSR intiatives by “their” own share of money, and hence the impact of such activities does not reflect in their organization books. Warren Buffet, Rockfeller, Gates being the prominent examples of such philanthropic pursuits.

Of late, some marketing gurus, have linked CSR to brand image of a company. Being a novice on the subject yet, I feel too little to question them, but utterly fail to understand any logical equation between CSR and a company’s brand image. Examples are in plenty, but I prefer not to get into that. The point is, even if there is any indirect benefit to an organization through its CSR programmes in terms of brand image building, then its just a form of marketing expenditure by an organization, and no philanthropic trait should be attached to such programmes either by the organization or the media. Such activites should be redefined and be classified as “business as usual” by all concerned.

I wish : Let Business be business, and charity be charity. Multiple hats do not yield optimal value addition. Let there be an utmost clarity of roles between corporate and government, and the tact of fruitful implementation on part of both, to deliver the best to the society.

But alas !...if wishes were horses, men would ride.

About Self

Post deleted....as I have changed

Pahela Post

I do belong to that genre of people, who prefer to read rather than write, listen rather than speak, basketsfull of extempore prizes notwithstanding. Yet I have opted to change for a while and try out my writing skills. No, I do not write for myself. If such be the case, self would have preferred my diary. But I write here to pour my feelings ( read frustation) out, an account of the constant surges of thoughts which strangle my chaotic mind, to get your praises ( mandatory) and abuses ( voluntary). To have a small space of my own to express my views uncensored, uncut, unrestrained before the world. I am quite apt at giving feedback and counselling ( chargeable basis) to friends and foes alike and expressing my views, but having something ? on the net to be shared with known and unknown "strangers" would be novel and interesting in itself. Here I start....