You know you are busy when

- When you walk into a CEO’s cabin and then suddenly forget the reason why you went in


- When a person putting in 18 hours a day starts calling you ‘workaholic”

- When you consider being called “workaholic” extremely derogatory

- When you start having dinner with your left hand because you can type faster with only right hand as compared to only left hand while eating.

- When you are the only moron in office who is served breakfast, lunch, snacks, dinner, tea on the table.

- When you receive over 200 mails marked “to” to you every day.

- When you put ‘having sex’ on your ‘to-do’ list for the weekend and still miss it

- When you have worked atleast 20 hours every weekend including public holidays for the last 7 months

- When you stop replying to SMS/ messages/calls / offline messages even if it is from some very sizzling hot babe asking you for a date

- When someone who speaks a bit slowly comes to talk with you, you tell him to drop a mail instead.

- When you can’t remember your dad’s cell no. and your own ATM / credit card passwords

- When the CEO asks you what time can he have a word with you about something important and you innocuously reply ‘during lunch time’

- When you ignore the SMS you receive from the bank stating your monthly salary deposit

- When you don’t have time for meeting Directors of prominent investment banks who fly from Singapore and New York just to meet you.

- When you book 4 flight tickets every week and cancel at least 2 of them and forget to take refund

- When you wake up in the morning the first thing you do is try to recall is what work in the office is pending.

- When you have no time to claim reimbursements of over Rs 1.5 lac of your bills from the accounts for the last 2 months

- When you keep extra pair of clothes in office so that you can work overnight in the office and pretend to be fresh next morning.

- When you were planning to write this post for the past 2 months and will be posting it sometime next month.

Feel like getting married

You feel you should get married when


- A friend from school puts up snaps of his kids 4th birthday on Orkut

- Even all your Bong friends younger than you are getting married

- When you start receiving wedding invitations from your batchmates younger siblings.

- When no one taunts you about your closet smelling like an unattended public toilet at the railway station

- When you see kids whom you have hold in your hands when they were born having girlfriends / boyfriends

- Your bank account balance is about to touch a 7 figure mark.

- When you struggle every time to buy gifts for your female friends getting married

- When your staple diet consists of Pizza’s from Domino’s

- When you are awake at 3 in the night reading business reports.

- When your colleagues leave work early on most days citing family reasons.

- You require a dependant to be able to claim your entire LTA amount.

- When you fall really sick, the only people who know it are your online friends on Gtalk thru your status message.

- When it’s a long time since your last break up
- When you have two closets in your apartment and one is absolutely empty

You feel like not getting married

- When one more of your friend gets a divorce after marrying his long time love

- When you find a friend of yours now married couldn’t get time from family functions

- When you can’t just put up with your family and are scared at the thought of having to put up with someone else’s family.

- You love to make more money in a month than you can spend in a year

- When you still enjoy getting off from any side of the bed

- When you enjoy Domino’s Pizza more than roti-sabzi

- When you have just one closet

- When you just had your break up
- When you can cook Maggi and eat it too

- Your salary doesn’t have an LTA component

the US of A

I think it was in Chetan Bhagat's " one night at a call centre' , i had come across this piece of satire. 

(Mis)Quote: " I think there are like 5 intelligent people in US of A.  The rest of the guys call us up every night"

Today I had a conversation with one such moron, that I now truly appreicate CB.

One super gyaani friend of mine, who has been all around the world puts it
"The Russians are the most intelligent, The Chinese are the smartest, The Indians are the c**ya ( lets say its a metaphor of being the shrewdest), The Australians the wildest, The Americans the dumbest."

But the fact being America continues to be one of the ( if not the) most powerful nations on earth, boasts of being the home to most innovations and new life changing technologies, makes me take a bow to the land of liberty.

The Lost Dreamers

I did spent 2 months recently at a relatively remote location, which was a once in a lifetime adventure. I did have some of the most unimaginable utmost interesting experience; but somehow I would not be sharing those on this blog. Maybe I feel it deserves a better platform; maybe a book or atleast another blog for that matter. And I will name it " The Lost Dreamers".....Do look out for it when it comes and I bet you won't regret it. Adios

mallya ki to *&^(

Penned on 7th Apr., 08, @ 10,000 ft. above the ground

Yup…the travel bug has once again bitten me. I landed in Delhi today morning from Jamshedpur and am currently leaving for aamchi Mumbai by Air Deccan flight. Hmm…not too much travel considering my episodical travel indulgence pre MBA. But yaaa…after 9 months of nearly static existence, the traveler in me is once again gearing up for some exciting, traveling times ahead. Well, my project also being linked to improvement in shares of travel category doesn’t seem much of an coincidence by the way. The only difference being I have never been on a personal tour since the fall of the Roman Empire and my official business tours stretch across lands more vast than that of Chengiz Khan.

Yaa.. I will be traveling to Mumbai without any knowledge of where am I going to put up once I land there. My only contact in Mumbai is ‘out of range’ now. I really like uncertainty, rather I love it and being plunged into uncertainty currently in all aspects of my life gives me a new high. As uncertainty looms large on the academic front to personal front to career front to my own perceptions of the world outside and in this realm of uncertainty I need to make some of the more significant, if not the most significant decisions soon is going to test my capabilities of coping with ‘ambiguity absolute’ to the extreme.

By the way, am a bit depressed now…The f***in airlines wala took an extra 840 bugs from me because of the excessive weight (not mine re) of my luggage. I am hardly left with a few coins in my pocket and the bank accounts are soon going to be run out of credit. No liquidity crunch man, its credit crunch. I am sure I would not be in any position to repay my lenders ( read friends, friends of friends, relatives of friends of friends and so on). Poor them, they didn’t took a credit default swap while extending me an unsecured long term loan. I seriously feel for this poor fellows. Magar koi baat nahi….agali baar se kisi aise waise ko loan nahi denge ;)

By the way, there is a smart, sexy girl sitting right opposite to me and giving me glances. No, I just checked out in the mirror and there are no shoestrings hanging around my ears and no grease marks on my nose. I have also tightened my shirt buttons in the proper order. Yaa…that makes me consider the possibility of she asking me for a coffee….. Well, since I haven’t had anything since morning ( early morning) and am absolute broke, I would not mind having a pizza accompanied with that coffee. But hey…just hold on…!!! Looking at her ‘economy dress’ really makes me think whether she is high on some bollywood fashion or simple broke like me.. She again glances at me as she brushes her golden ( not golden …some damn new colour) hair aside. I run a check in my wallet. Haaa…haaaa….I really don’t have anything to loose.

Oh gosh…!!! WTF… the last call for boarding has been made. One of the first times when this airline hasn’t delayed its flight….For the first time, I am cursing this airlines for not delaying the flight…..apna pizza aur coffee to gaya naa….

As I stood up I feel the tragic emotions in her eyes, I really wish to go and give her my address and bank account no. so that she could transfer the amount for coffee and pizza to my account. But what a f**kin memory I have…I can’t even recollect my bank account no. Well, I think I should collect cash instead….yaa…that’s a great idea..I will rather ask her for giving me the cash. I start walking towards her, but a heavy voice disrupts my plans. K…..that idiot from school suddenly ‘tapaks’ down from nowhere. A second of conversation makes me realize that he is on the same flight….K forces me to run with him towards the boarding gate leaving my golden hair waali anarkaaali singing ‘ yooon naa jaao rooth ke, yeh dil abhi bharaa naahi’……

If flight delays would be more consistent, apna bhi koi setting ho jaata..sob ..sob …sob….

lagta hai vijay maal aaya ne Air Deccan' ko badal diya..... sob...sob...sob...

PS : Under production - Batting maestros @ XL. Thanks a ton for your loads of suggestions. PSS : The highly virtous Galaxy secy. will be announced soon. Keep checking this space....aur kabhi kabhi is blog ki 'advertisement' par bhi click kiya karo....support this blog

A big mistake by Chetan Bhagat

After a hiatus of over 2 months, I am back ....Think I underwent a writer's block lately.

The reviews which self had got for Chetan Bhagat’s latest try at fiction were less than satisfactory. Yet, availability of the book with my roommate and me being f*king free made me take the risk of venturing through this pathetic piece which is nothing but a forceful attempt at amalgamating three of the most controversial and hot topics of contemporary India. Business, Cricket and Religion and its an absolute no brainer to be able to reckon that Religion is linked to Politics. Yaa, he also tried to bring in an unwarranted romantic angle, an unparalleled description of ‘sex scene’, barring which I would have finished the book in an hour and not two ;)

Believe its time that B-schoolers limit their extravaganza with literature to their soporific B school tales and not venture out to unknown realms of engaging fiction.

CB like his previous two novels succeeds in painting his characters alive without pursuing a descriptive mode. Yet the novel fails to grip the readers’ attention and lacks the creation of an engagement. The three central characters ( 3 friends) start a common business with a different personal motive. CB fails to capture the entrepreneur spirit of Gujarat by a mile, or rather may I say by a thousand miles. The characters in the novel decide to start their business due to lack of any other options, an absolutely false representation of the Gujju mindset. The fairy tale ‘bollywoodish’ touch on the cricket angle, combined with a weak presentation of the riots and quake makes the book a too shallow read even for fiction amateurs like me. The novel to me at a personal level was even a bigger put down as I am a Gujju and have faced the brunt of the earthquake and the Godhra riots in a much severe way in comparison the characters in the story.


A peep into some my experiences with those two devastating incidents of my life soon.

hmmm

RK buzzed me today after about 3 years and his first line was ' Hey dude..how many enemies you've made in XLRI ?'
Me - 'Lots', but still very less than I what I had planned for.
RK - ' Oh...thats bad ....really bad.
Me - I know
RK - From where the hell will you draw your energy if you are not having enough enemies.
Me - RK, I think I have changed, or atleast have lost the vigour
RK - You too Brutus...Taking the path of diplomacy...
Me - Maybe, I have lost that gut to fight out.
RK - What the hell makes you think so....
Me - Too many conformists Brutuses around..
RK - Did it ever matter to you...then why now
Me - hmm...i m in a dilemma
RK - What abt. the 'bloody seven'.
Me - hmm....
RK - hmmm....
Me - ( Changing the topic)..will be leaving soon for my summers to Delhi and then to Mumbai..
RK - Going to Gujarat
Me - Not till September
RK - Busy ?
Me - Damn damn busy.
RK - Planning to take that big shot
Me - Not sure...Too risky for me now
RK - What abt. Bloody seven
Me - hmmm.
RK - Do you wanna say something
Me - m sorry
RK - just wish you could turn back to our fight ..its 3 years now. If you wanna fight some day, or your goals have changed.
Me - The rebel is alive, but asleep
RK - Its 3 years now.
Me - hmm
RK - hmm.. ( after a long pause)
Me - Where are you
RK - in jamshedpur
Me - What....u in the same city ?
RK - Came to meet u.
Me - (after a long pause) hmmm...
RK - May be, some other time we will meet
Me - I wish so ..
RK - Really ???
Me - hmmm
.......and the conversation ended..
Indeed, words are poor conveyors, the heart knows itself

bakar

My encounter with Operations Research was a disaster. Getting more than 10 % in this test would be nothing short of miracle for me. Considering that Operations Research was my elective during my engineering days ( yaa...those good old old days in 2002) it was even more disturbing, but not that shocking, as I am now a bit habituated to such shocks.

Its election time at XL. But the vigour, the passion is missing from the process and some of the candidates. It just seems so banal, so hackneyed relative to the engineering college elections. No lobbying, no hardliners, no kidnappings, no threats, no posters, no campaign, no clear strong stands taken ..., just basketsful of unwarranted bullshit diplomacy. Its just ' We will look into the matter' :)...'If required, we will do it'..' XL is one of the best B-schools'...holy damn, what a new finding. 'XLRI brand should be promoted'...gosh...that seems to be conclusion of some thorough research.....'Infrastructure will be improved'....yup, thats the problem with India too... As a friend aptly said ' yeh sabko pata hai, bandar paisa lene se pahele kitna nachta hai, aur paisa lene ke baad kitna nachta hai'

But I am not cribbing. Its 'XL tradition'. It feels so good passing on some useless practices and customs in the name of 'tradition'...

I watched 'Mithunda's Gunda' few days back..no..cudn't watch the complete movie...And if you think that you have watched a 'sada hua movie', you are utterly wrong, if you haven't watched this movie....laagi sart ?

PS - and why the hell am i getting this umpteen friend requests from random ppl. on orkut nowadays....yeh kuch friendship month chal raha hai kyaa...

Shapeless musings V

A string of unsignificant events unfold now and then, but somehow I ain't able to resist the temptation of indulging in it. There aren't really many things which indeed matter to me. I ain't able to really cherish those sudden spurts of joy which emerged suddenly from nowhere. Every fleeting moment makes me evaluate myself on an uncompromising matrix. I know, I lag behind. Yet those events, no matter how insignificant they may be, unravel the core enthusiast in me. I try to look deep in my reflection in that almost stained mirror. Even in that darkness, I could feel the undercurrents shaping up in the form of unmet desires, but I continue to rejoice those moments of unfluttering attitude. That sense of urgency which had been UPS's hallmark has deserted me. That knack of turning things around every time when the going gets tough, rather tougher has been on the backfoot ever since I landed here. That will to fight, and fight hard, the ever burning fire to compete all out has seems to have gather some rust. I know that this is not at all the place to fight or compete. Even I mock the calibre of the opposition. What left unsaid, better be unsaid. But then maybe I need to prove myself, not to anyone else, but at least to me.

Rest ALL is strategy

There aren't many things in this world which have the potential to piss me off. But our class sessions in the strategy course are an exception. I enter the class with a clear perspective and many specific questions. I come out with a more confused outlook and unanswered questions. I wonder how can one be so flawed in data, eccentric in reasoning, untouched by reality, erroneous in approach yet conventional in ideas. I wonder how can one be so superficial in understanding the basics of some well debated articles, yet take the articles on its face value and not objectively evaluate it. I wonder how one can speak with so damn confidence though his statements are based on nothing but intuitiveness rather than following a particular approach, and the utter convictions shown during defending one's intuition have been rather exemplary, though unwarranted.

Management strategies haven't been drawn from models. The models have been based on successful strategies. However, till date academia has used lag indicators to assess the successful strategy. i.e. Once a strategy has resulted into success ( read success in financial performance), then its is ATTRIBUTED to a no. of factors such as company's strategy, leadership, work culture and other crap. But our artful learned writers intentionally and at times unintentionally, tend to write as if this factors have contributed to success ( in terms of financial performance). This HALO EFFECT ( dekha....i know OB, though I missed the top grade by a fraction of a mark) of judging whether a strategy and other factors were good or bad from the financial performance has created much disservice to the field of management. Cisco for example had heaps of praises about its work culture and strategy in the late nineties when its financial performance was good.. great leadership, great work culture, truly innovative, fantastic marketing strategy.. Come 2001..the financial performance dips ...The people who earlier defined its leadership as charismatic termed it arrogant, the work culture which was praised as innovation driven suddenly became 'uncontrolled chaos'..and so on, though nothing had really changed in Cisco's way of functioning. Analysts and theorists' ability to fit examples to their own intutive theories, which have been the result of their figment of imagination and skewed research, deserves a salute. Tata Motors was criticised in 2000 when it registered huge losses , but suddenly became the epitome of best practices for many business writers in 2004 when its financials improve. The so called learned writers are supposed to define what contributes to a successful strategy, but they in hindsight or at times intentionally rather evaluate the factors as 'good / bad' or 'successful/not successful' by attributing financial success to them.

Also, many a times people try to classify their strategy or rather force fit their strategy into a particular model to articulate it better. 40 years back some great genius said ' The only two ways an organization gains competitive advantage is either cost leadership or differentiation leadership. Over the next f*king 40 years, people came out a myriad of other ways of establishing sustainable competitive advantage, say penetrating distribution channels, focussing on a narrow group, innovative marketing, counter culture trends, quality focussed...but some idiots try to force fit all this strategies under the same headings of 'cost leadership' and 'differentiation leadership'....Seems as if the wave of making 'complex' things 'simple' has been overstretched too far.

And we bunch of idiots derive our understanding from such super idiotic stuff.....

Let clear thinking prevail. Amen !!

PS : That you are right and those Porter & party are wrong is not too strong an assumption to make, provided you first fully understand what Porter & party really meant ....

PSS : The only thing that matters is 'money today' and 'more money' tomorrow. 'Rest ALL' is strategy - the only thing I wrote in my diary in the last strategy class.

PSSS : oops...cudn't bring out all my frustation in French....( m yet to learn any French abuses..faculty ne sikhaya hi nahi inspite of innumerable requests)...but the next post for sure gonna be in French.....sacchi...

merci

Too much

They say I crib too much.
They say I talk too much.
They say I read too much.
They say I sleep too much.
They say I smoke too much.
They say I fight too much.
They say I write too much.

I say 'F.O...Its too much.'

Happy New Year

oye....sabse pahele is blog par timepass karne ke liye tapak padne wale sabhi to nav varsh ki hardik shubh kamnayee.. btw, jab apun yeh ghis raha hai, tab tak new year shuru nahi huaa....advance mein wish kiya hai mamu..samjha kya...

The clock strikes 10. Suddenly the melodious tune on my alarm clock wakes me up from my power nap. Its still quite a few hrs. left for the new year to arrive. What the f*&* am I doing at this time here in front this computer. Infact self had been bombasted with the question on what am I going to do on this new year eve. Any guesses..? Okie...your first guess of me been on a wet nite is outrightly rejected. Nope..I ain't in Gujarat ( as if it mattered for wet nites :) ). Nope, I am not going to rock and 'roll' out there with some buggers. A 'night-out' at the 'coolest' spicy locations in the town ...nope...not at all.. And I am definitely not reading Kafka or Coetze or Milton...Not even Aristotle. I finished reading his 'Power & Politics' yesterday. 'Kane & Abel' of Jeffrey Archer is next on the list, but I prefer to start that sometime later next month. Nope ..u loser..m not writing any more poems...don't u know i gave up writing poems...bloody crapp... no shapeless musings ......no watching TV either, or playing 'games' on lappie.. and definitely i am not out 'bird watching'

Yes, i m again on those one day trips at places which are never ever mentioned on any of the maps...miles away from the hustle and bustle of the cities....where even reaching the place takes an effort, but the beatific intense silence here is worth it. Can once again see those thousands of stars which I somehow missed on the city sky. Think this is the first time in last few yearss that I am not on an official tour on new year eve. Gonna enjoy it fully...and yaa...i m gonna see more falling stars today..have baskets 'full' of wishes for the upcoming year. Cheers !!! Have a rockin' year ..bole to HAPPY NEW YEAR

PS : I'll be back soon

PSS : I have nothing more to say..har post mein yeh 'PS / PSS' likhna zaruri hai kya ....tum bhi naa...!!!

HYPOTHETICAL

This term in Economics, we had to write a paper of about 750 words on any contemporary macroeconomic matter for getting an extra credit. Yup, I did write...and indeed write 31 pages for it ( kya bola re tu... haan re...apun ka satak gaya tha). No prizes for guessing that the topic of this brilliant paper was 'Countering carbon'. In my production assignment last term, I had wrote about the mechanisms of carbon trading in details. Herein , I blasted ( need i say ' no words minced') the very logic behind carbon trading and have made a case for shifting to carbon tax. An absolutely dumb but dear friend yesterday dismissed the idea mentioning that the concept of carbon tax is at best 'HYPOTHETICAL'

What hypothetical...u f$%$&^* crappy idiot...Read this twice, and then if you still consider carbon tax 'HYPOTHETICAL', I'll pay for getting your brain being kept next to Einstein in the museum, but for entirely opposite reasons.

- In the summer of 2003, New Zealand government was considering a ‘flatulence tax’ to be levied on farmers with livestock. (the fart by the livestock consists of a certain proportion of polluting gases) With four million people, 45 million sheep and around 10 million cattle, New Zealand’s animals are reportedly responsible for more than 40 percent of the total greenhouse gases produced in the country. ---So, Farters beware !!! aur muli ke parathe khaana bandh karo...samje. New Zealand has infact, implemented a carbon tax since 2005.

- The Quebec government just announced plans to levy a broad carbon tax against oil and gas companies as a way of financing what it calls a $1.2 billion Green Fund over the next six years to help control the province's greenhouse gas emissions and meet its Kyoto target.

- And the notion is getting something of an international hearing courtesy of Al Gore, the former Democratic party presidential candidate who is now trumpeting the idea of a broad-based carbon tax with his new documentary about climate change, An Inconvenient Truth.

May be the Carbon Tax can be renamed the “Green Tax”, after all Carbon seems much too a dirty word for politics.


PS -The Rajnikant Birthday celebration by TAXI was good...cud have been better if I would have got a slice of the cake :(. I don't understand the reason why 'RanjitHa' and 'SangitHa' and all their brothers and sisters keep on visiting my orkut profile yet never making a scrap...It seems like I am receiving blank calls from half the population of Chennai.

PSS - Congrats to Ratin for taking the initiative and starting the stock tips group...hope it goes full gear in the next term. btw, XLers have already started manipulating the market in a never seen, never heard, never thought manner...Hats off to Captain & his group. Which company are you acquiring next ?

PSSS - M gonna atttend marketing lecture tomorrow ( subject to conditions) after eons of years. I dropped the idea of taking up 'French ' next term...I think I better take up 'English' under Fr. Jesurajan. :)

muzhe woh kitaab chahiye

Lately, I have been trying to get my hands on a literary classic which I haven't been able to find in most of the 'prime' libraries in most of the cities I have visited. So, yesterday I googled to find out the book and surprisingly among the first few entries displayed I came across a newsarticle from 'Telegraph' which also featured a very familiar name. I clicked on that entry to find that indeed it was about a familiar 'gentleman' who stays at XLRI and this gentleman has the book I am so desperately looking for. Now, One may go and ask that book from him but then one may not agree to lend it to me...

Wondering, whoz that...well...just read this article from 'Telegraph'..
QUOTE -
A nail-biting finish to a cricket match does not impress him. Neither does masala Bollywood movies. For Tamonas Gangopadhyay, professor of qualitative technique and systems selective, XLRI, what matters most is words. Nothing holds more significance than the fine print. His collection of over 3,000 books is his prized possession and Tamonas has found a new world for himself in them.
Walk into his office and you will find more in this man’s booty. A PHD in mathematics, he loves Coetze as much as he adores the Brahms. He prizes his complete collection of Kafka just like he can’t get over Beethoven.
A man with a classy taste in literature and music, Tamonas says, “Pulp fiction is not my kind of stuff.” And why not, for one who has tasted the richness of literary novels like Coetze’s “Disgrace” and “Waiting for the Barbarians” and Marcel Proust’s “Remembrance of Things Past”, anything short of it is not good enough.
“The originality of idea, the aesthetic mature of his writing and the stylistic aspects of Kafka bowled me over. And as for Proust, the seven volume work of about 4,200 pages gave me an unparalleled literary treat. I must say I have not chanced upon such unconventional experiments in any author,” he admits. , says Tamonas, a dreamy smile flitting across his face.
Born with a silver spoon in his mouth, Tamonas was introduced to literature, culture and painting by his father. “My grand collection of books is part of a family heirloom. Previously I used to travel a lot to buy books for my collection mainly because there weren’t any good bookshops in Calcutta. But now Landmark in Calcutta is my favourite book-hunting spot. Besides, I also like the collection at Bookworm in Khan market Delhi and Crosswords at Delhi and Bombay,” Tamonas explains.
To this professor of many parts the definition of pleasure and fun is rather unconventional.
“I am not among those who thrive on material possessions. Yes, you can say I will give in to the temptation of a 29-inch television simply because it will ensure better viewing . But too much of socialising is not my cup of tea. I love to spend my time reading instead. I personally feel literature cannot be understood without knowing the history behind it. It is the same with music,” he adds.
His daughter Jagriti, a student of Class XI, too swears by books. “My family comprises avid readers so we spend a lot of time together engrossed in books. Of late I have introduced my daughter to the works of Tolstoy and Dotoevsky and she seems to loves it. Literature is not just stories but the entire world compressed in words. It encompasses the social, historically and economical history of our times.”
Tamonas enjoys his Solhello or Jaques Berzun reclining on the bed in his study-cum-bedroom which has on display all his collection well kept in a glass case. “The reading habit is dying. People rarely read books leave alone buying them. Take for example the book fair in the city and you will find nothing beyond a few technical or children’s books. But then each to their own. Some people are interested in the share market, some in politics and some like me thrive on literature. I have changed with the books I have read. And in this evolution I have identified myself more with the authors than the characters or situations. That is perhaps because with time even literature evolves.”
Drawing a parallel between mathematics and music, Tamonas explains, “Discrete mathematics and music go hand in hand. Music which can be categorised into rhythm, melody and harmony is based on mathematical concepts. For instance, Indian classical music does not have much harmony while it is predominant in western classical music. In the West, great mathematicians have a strange penchant for music.” In a league of his own that’s Tamonas Gangopadhyay for you.
- UNQUOTE.

No marks for finding the probability of me going to borrow the book from Dr. T. Gangopadhyay :)

Any QT toppers volunteering for help ?

PS - sorry .. Kuttas at XL delayed.
PSS - Passing the course in Financial management - I is gonna be damn tough for me. Unlike some of my fellow mates with a high a romantic quotient, I fail to understand the logic of portfolio diversification and believe in investing in a single fixed income security.

Shapeless musings - III

I am sleeping for more than 12 hrs. a day, watching a movie everyday and yet I am damn damn busy. So busy I wudn't call up my loved ones, so busy i won't care to return the books I took eons of days back from the library, so busy I won't try to make my room a tinge cleaner, so busy I won't collect my stuff which hoards about 5 other friends room in this hostel. So, busy I won't write the blog I promised to my friends, so busy that I won't my friends up and say how much I miss them. I am so busy I don't have the time to watch India Pak one dayers, I am so busy that I don't attend any more lectures in the institute, so busy to pay bills to the dhobi and local eatery, so busy I don't have time to read any newspapers or magazines, so busy that I've stopped chatting on the internet, so busy that I don't even collect my answer sheet of the last midterm, so busy i don't give a f*cking damn to the no. of people dying in nandigram, so busy I don't care where the stock market is headed, so busy I won't follow up on my previous companies for my dues, so busy to send a diwali greeting to any of my friends, so busy to loiter out and visit a durga pooja pandal, so busy I don't have time to go the market, so busy to whisper my thoughts in her ears, so busy to share that joke with my friends, so busy to find that time to kill myself, so busy to kill some other idiots around.

But then there are some strange things going around nowadays. The red tinge in the evening sky doesn't mellow down the chirping sparrows anymore. That thunder roar doesn't frighten me anymore. There is a mirage'ous' bridge just ahead of me. I don't wish but yet would be crossing it. The horses are just set loose in their ranch. The wild beast watches them in their fancy as they move gracefully and make a nebulous frenzy of dust around. It watches patiently, silently amid those distant grassy plains sitting behind a pure rivulet which for the time being seems to have suddenly changed its course. The curtains on a old man's window flutter in the wind. A puff of smoke creates a king's crown in the air. A trendy music suddenly turns loud. With truth being rationed, will the empire tumble ?

title nahi suz raha :(

Dear Friends,

Please do not read this post, as it is specifically written only for my dear Mr. / Ms. Anonymous. Mr. / Ms. anonymous has given a comment on one of my recent posts " XL ki billiya' without disclosing his / her identity. hey..why r u reading this...i told u naa......kisi aur ki chittiya padhna acchi baat nahi hai....school mein master ji ne nahi sikhaya kya. As my poor self isn't aware of any technology to locate mr. / ms. anonymous, i present herewith my response to Mr. / Ms. anonymous's following comment


Anonymous said...
hi.. this post is entirely offensive and meant in bad taste. i suggest you remove it and immediately a it serves no purpose and acts ony as a refelction of a paedophile who is lurking the corners of this institute waiting for his sickly turn




Dear Mr. / Ms. Anonymous.

I hope this letter finds you in pink of your health and fitness. I was really impressed by your comment on my post. Anyways, First things first. Although my blog posts are grammatically as perfect as a reverse sweep by Harbhajan, yet for the sake of language I would like to kindly suggest (or may I 'plead') that 'sickly turn' is an absolute murder of the language.

As your good self has not given me the priviledge of knowing your identity, I find your idea of ‘suggesting' me something, and then praising me with highly unwarranted adjectives viz. paedolofile ( oops….i’m so bad in speellings) seems to be the creation of a person bestowed with unparalleled showers of stupidity.

I know my sense of humour is as great as sunny deol's dance, but ( again but...)I expected readers of this blog to have a brain slightly bigger than the size of a mosquito egg to appreciate this as just one another post written for the only purpose of some light hearted banter.

But ( again this buts naaa….) considering that you've taken it so seriously, my imaginations of guessing your identity seems to point towards that smiling idiot who looks like an envelope without an address on it. Or may be you are that highly modest clown with so much to be modest about. Considering my limited interactions with you, I fail to judge whether you are always so stupid, or was this just a special occasion. Though many normal specimens have an ultra strong urge to hit you hard in your face, but improving your looks for free doesn’t make good business sense, in whatsoever business one is.

Despite my best efforts, I fail to make any conclusion towards your identity Mr. / Ms. Anonymous. Anyways, I would be utmost glad to remove the post from my blog, subject to you coming out of anonymity.

I may have 'heaps' of differences with your thoughts, but I'll defend your right to speak up and express your views with my utmost might, if (....yaa, again this ifs and buts. I hate ifs, but love butts) I could have known your good self Mr./ Ms. Anonymous.
I mean what I say and I say what I mean.

Cheers,

The chaotic mind.

Disclaimer : "XL ki billiya' post bears no resemblance with any cat living or dead. In case of any such partial or full resemblance, it should be considered as purely coincidental.

PS: hey, did you notice, I m getting good at writing disclaimers . J
PSS : I have got a bit too religious nowadays and am regularly watching Ramayan – Ram laxman janki, jai bolo dasrath ki. ( oops..i mean hanuman ? ki)

I AM NOT GAY

I have heard my professors time and again emphasizing on the diversity of our batch. As I browse through some recent management journals ( haan bhai haan…apun XLRI mein padhte badhte bhi hai), I feel that every Tom, Dick and Harry has suddenly been blessed by the ‘Atma Gyaan’ of the importance and essentiality of diversity in today’s modern day management. Watching the starcasts of some recent bollywood flicks, I am sure that even Ramu, Dhawan and Barjadtya have been reading some management books of late rather than ‘filmy’ scripts. Hmmm…hmm……Oops… I just forgot the point why I started writing this post at one in the night, inspite of having a few thousand tones of management books to read. Yeh filmi log bhi naa, sab kuch bhula dete hai…Anyways, I will carry on with some other bullshit.

I have been indeed wondering on the diversity of the orkut members since the day I opened an orkut account, due to the unparalleled diversity of the ‘recent visitors’ on my orkut profile. The probability of me knowing atleast one of the five members displayed in the recent visitors section is as high as the probability of Australia cricket team winning a ‘good conduct’ medal multiplied by the probability of Imran kissmi ( I mean Hasmi) not kissing Mallika Sherawat in a forthcoming movie…. (Hmm…..btw, I am desperately searching for a DVD of the film ‘Murder’. If you have it, just send me across …plzzzzzz). Some novel profiles I discovered on my recent visitors list in the past three days are indeed astounding. I am really shocked as to why a cool Latino babe from Brazil would have visited my profile. I get dumbfounded when an octogenarian from Kyrgyzstan peeps out on my recent visitors list. A Polish glassmaker, a paleontologist from Norway and an Israeli farmer ( I know what farming you do, my dear ‘grassy’ pal). A smart Tamilian girl ‘Sunitha’ however is welcome, though I would have preferred her name to be ‘Sunita’. But 'Ranjitha' is definitely not welcome. With her picture missing on the orkut profile, the best way in which I could imagine her is as a twin sister of Rajnikanth, and that too with thick moustaches.

But most of all, I was shocked at the frequency of a particular ‘type of ‘abnormal’ males interested in undergoing some intimate experiences with fellow males. I have absolutely no idea about their happiness quotient, but they are labeled by the society in general as ‘gay’. Finding such creatures with an alarming regularity on my profile made me really wonder whether traits of such ‘man’ly inclination is really abnormal or am I under the false perception of considering myself ‘normal’ with my sexual inclinations towards the fairer sex. A intelligent ‘male’ friend ( no ideas please !) solved the mystery by pointing towards a one liner on my profile, which read ‘ I still love Sachin Tendulkar, I am not gay’. Probably this ‘swingers’ would have made an ineffective use of the Orkut search option by typing ‘ gay’ in the search criteria, and would have been mislead to my profile. I sincerely offer my deepest apologies for putting such lines on my profile, which lead to waste of their highly precious time.

Yet to make my point clear, let me emphatically announce for once and for all that I am not by any farthest stretch of imagination anywhere close to being gay. My physical interests in ‘male’ specimens of Homo Sapiens Sapiens are as high as Rakhi Sawant’s neckline ( ooyee…. you dirty mind, concentrate on reading the post) and the salary of an Indian hockey player. Let me reiterate, I am just happy, not gay. I don’t have any affiliations whatsoever with GALAXY group at XL, and I am ‘cock’sure of it. The chances of my sexual inclinations towards a male counterpart are as bright as an underpaid pornstar in a Thamilian ( I mean Tamilian) porn flick. I don’t have any crush ‘even’ on Shahid Kapoor. I am in strong opposition to gender equality. I prefer a specimen of female human spieces to a male specimen on any day, and even any night. (In fact, more so in the night). Yesterday, I also removed that song from Raj Kapoor’s (are he is the father of Shahid Kapoor’s to be father-in-law) film from my play list. The song went something like this ‘ Aadmi huun, aadmi se pyaar karta huun’. After seeing the intermingling among the Indian cricket team on the ground, when it won the 20-20 world cup, makes me think that contacting them would be more fruitful for the desperate ‘gays’ ( I mean guys) visiting my profile.

PS : All said and done, I still love Sachin Tendulkar.

shapeless musings 2

The storm has now mellowed. The cavalry of dark clouds smoothly floats over the distant mountain. A lull of serene silence lends a distinct touch to the atmosphere. A gentle blow of air touches my cheek. It is twilight. The rays of the sedate sun struggle to make their way through the maze of clouds to reach the ground. The chirping of the birds suddenly dissipates in this forlorn silence. A stroke of divine brush creates a spectacular rainbow. A circle of black smoke emanicipates from a distant chimney. The waters in the river seem to be backtracking to reach its source like a lady desperate to meet her love whom she had left. A little child runs alongside a tyre in tarnished clothes, as if racing with the river waters. He coos back at the songs of a cuckoo. The red flag on the temple flutters gleefully greeting the dard clouds bid adieu. A piece of broken crockery is discovered by a bright coloured sand trotting mollusc. A pretty girl with her locks falling into her eyes gazes at the varied coloured eastern sky. She throws up her arms to reach and catch hold of the rainbow. An aroma of wet sand adds a tint of fragrance to the surroundings. A drizzle soon follows.

A piece of silk cloth gets strangulated midair in hideous curved branches of the peepal. And then a train whistle breaks this natures' moment of romance. I believe the train needs to carry on with its journey. I wonder which destination is the train headed towards. Is destination the journey or journey the destination? Suddenly, I hear the girls' shrill cry.

What is this life, if full of care.

We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stare at a beauty's glance,

And watch how well her feet can dance;

No time to wait till her lips can,

Enrich the smile her eyes began ......

No comments please.

My Table

Today, I have a fresh look over my demented table which hosts scores of correspondances I have made over the past six months and have relegated them to my table owing to their relative sequential insignificance over those which I got filed (by someone else, ofcourse) Yeah…! My table adorns a look as clean as an unowned public toilet across the railway station, except for the fragrance. My table hosts paper forests more dense than that of Amazon, and I am sure Saddam would have been better off hiding admist these unfathomable blocks of papyrus products than some pigeonhole in downtown Iraq. Hey Osama….I am giving ideas.! I make a third attempt in vain to unravel two pages of some sordid three month old correspondances and my probability of finding it out this time is as good as finding strands of silky hair on Anupam Kher’s head. After 30 minutes of a ransack operation, I give up the hope. But as “jo hota hai..acche ke liye…” funda, I have uncovered fossil of my Reynolds pen lid, a strap of stapler pins, a rubber band, a visiting card of an important contact, my salary slips, an unread issue of power line magazine, ear plugs and a box of condoms. Okie…that condom thing is a joke, but I have had tangible returns for my efforts. Well, this is not the first instance, wherein I have lost some important “bunch” of documents. It happens to me with alarming regularity, with frequency more than that of a laughter roar by Siddhu on one more pathetic joke, or Imran Hashmi kissing a cool clad free girl around. (I am seriously thinking of a role switch with him). My work desk boasts of being the messiest (aisa word hai kya) thing in a radius of 2 kms. (Why 2 kms ? Because, my house is at 2 km from office) Maybe, the entire BMC staff can be busy for a whole “cleanliness year”, if they dare to set my room straight. Exotic fragrances galore, as lifeless bodies of beautiful darkly coloured cockroaches and other near extinct species of insects adorn almost every second inch of space. No, I won’t go on any further describing the eternal beautification which I have done to my room. Kisiki nazaar lag jayegi to? My ex-boss once commented to me “Kutte bhi puch (tail) maar kar baith te hai”. For the unintelligible few who can’t comprehend that mundane language , it means that even dogs have a sweep with their tails before they sit”. My reaction was a look at my boss’ desk, an eye of appreciation for its cleanliness and a look at his back. Nope, I couldn’t figure out where the tail was. Unfortunately, as I have evolved a bit further from being a dog to something called Homo Sapien Sapiens ( No, I am not refuting anti-Darwinian God-made-all theory), I feel myself ill equipped to figure out an anatomical part to be used instantly on traces of such mess. So, I continue to remain in whirlwinds of such plethora of papers around me in office, desperately waiting for some sound headed, tail-bottomed gentleman ( lady will also do) to arrive and pull me out of this valley of papers, just as a bollywood macho man picks up this heroine hanging on a single hand on the rocks twenty thousand feet above the ground.

Afterthought 1 - Once Ms. Sandhya said (Hey..No Ideas please, she was my Class I teacher) that Cleanliness is next to Godliness. Probably, I am more close to Devil “ Messiness is next to devilishness”.

Afterthought 2 – I am a strong supporter of Jack Welch’s “Paperless office” concept.

Afterthought 3- To all single and "yet" looking girls out there.....Its just a joke. I am gonna help my to-be-wife in keeping house neat and clean. sacchi...

RACE

'Few things never change', said so Philip to himself with an enigmatic grin on his face. As he walked restlessly in the corridors of Mumbai's airport, his indifference to the ringing cell disturbed few around. 15,000 miles Rachna, sitting at Heathrow airport with a newspaper in hand, gazing at the glass ceiling slids her hand through her hair. She wants to have coffee but feels too scared to get up. A blue liner lands in the background as Surya gets desperate to have a fag after sitting for over 2 hours at the Baroda flipping through pages of a comic. He feels the touch of sunrays on his hands.

Three people, three locations, three destinations but one aim. The Race for the ultimate begins